" I want a man cave." Parker whines.
" I want a walk-in-closet." Emily argues.
" And I really don't want to sit here while you two argue." I chip in.
" Ally!" they both yell in unison making me shut my mouth.
" Okay geez sorry." I lift my hands up in surrender and make my way out of the kitchen where Emily and Parker have been arguing for the last half an hour.
The apartment Emily is interested in renting is a 3 bedroom apartment. One room will go for them, the other room wil be my room for the time being and when I'm not occupying it then it will be a guest bedroom and the last room still hasn't been labaled.
Parker wants a man cave so that he can invite over some of his friends and play games all night without interfering with the rest of the household. Emily wants to turn the room into a walk-in-closet. I don't think a reason is needed with her argument.
" There is enough closet space in the bedroom." I hear Parker argue.
" There's never enough closet space!" Emily says raising her voice a little louder.
She has a point.
There is never enough space for the amount of pink clothes the girl owns. I remeber back when we used to live together how much we argued about Emily pushing her clothes into my wardrobe because her wardrobe was full. I see a dark road ahead for Parker.
I've already seen the rest of the apartment so there is literally nothing here for me to do besides listening to Emily and Parker argue. I can't go back to the frat house because I don't have a car and my phone died about 10 minutes ago. Lucky me.
" Can we go now?" I whine from the living room.
" Ally!" I hear them both yell at me again.
" For the love of God I'm not a child!" I yell back.
I hate being scolded.
I don't get a reply as I hear them talking incoherent words to one another. Hopefully they sort out this whole living arrangement soon so that we can get back to our day. We still have to go furniture shopping.
Speaking of furniture shopping, I got a message earlier this morning that the last of Tyler's beach shack furniture has been delivered to the dorm. We never got to finish fixing up the beach shack but I had already ordered some furnite pieces while on vacation in his hometown. I had them deliver it to the dorm seeing as I thought I would be back at the dorm by now. Guess I'll just have to fetch it at some time and drop it off at the beach shack. I still have a set of keys to the beach shack somewhere. I'll just have to go and look for it.
" I'm starving." Parker whines as he and Emily steps into the empty living room.
" Couldn't agree with you more." I say grabbing onto a wrist from both of them and pulling them out of the apartment.
***
" What about a leather couch?" Parker asks Emily as we walk by numerous types of couches.
" What about a walk-in-closet?" Emily bites back.
Damn this girl won't let that idea go.
We're never going to get anywhere with the two of them bickering like this.
Maybe I should just do the shopping for them?
I follow my own advice and start grabbing a few pillows and stuffing them into the cart. Neither of them notice the extra dollars I'm putting into their cart as they continue on bickering. I manage to grab a few blankets as well as a lamp. I'm sure that will be enough to get us started.
" Where did all these pillows come from?" Emily asks as I reach over for another pillow.
I stop mid way and turn to look at her. Giving her a guilty smile I put the pillow back.
" I thought I'd help out while you guys were... occupied." I answer.
" Let's just head back. I'm exhausted from this day." Parker sighs.
I'm exhausted as well. Guess the hours of sleep I missed out on has caught up to me.
" Agreed. We'll try again tomorrow. " Emily adds.
I feel my shoulders slouch as the hope of moving into the apartment sooner goes away. I don't know how many more sleepless nights I can do before completely losing it. Hopefully we don't reach that point.
Slowly but surely I start packing away the pillows and blankets that I picked out. I'd feel too bad to just leave it there for someone to pack away.
" I ordered mattresses for the bedrooms so long and hopefully they will be delivered in the next few days. Once they are delivered we can start moving in." Emily announces just as we stop in front of the frat house.
I'll move in now if I had the option to but Emily doesn't like the idea of me sleeping on the floor seeing as the apartment isn't furnished. Anything would be better than spending another night in Tyler's room.
" Be ready in an hour. We're going out tonight. End of discussion." Emily orders as we climb out of the car.
" I-"
" No."
" But I-"
" I don't want to hear it."
" Fine." I sigh finally giving in.
It didn't take much convincing -
Oh just shut it.
Like the grown ass adult I am I stomp my way up the stairs. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel up for going out for the night. I've always been a party animal but lately I'm just not in the mood. At all. Going out means that I'll be seeing more people, likely couples, and they'll just remind me of how depressing my life is at the moment.
But I need to stop thinking about everything in such a negative way. This is my new beginning and if I want to make a success from it then I should definitely change my attitude.
Maybe a night out won't hurt that bad?
Once I reach Tyler's room I start going through the clothes I brought along. I've come to a realization that I really need to get new clothes.
With what money?
Don't even remind me.
I'm not going to complain. Although I don't have any source of income at the moment I'm grateful that I don't have a nagging mother on my back. Without her constantly trying to control my life I feel like I can finally step out of the cage she has been forcing me to stay in and embrace my full potential.
" Did you take my pink lipstick?"
I turn around to see Emily storm into the room. She's wearing her favorite pink towel while trying to untangle her damp hair.
" Why would I have your lipstick?" I ask the obvious question.
Pink isn't my color.
" Because it's a nice shade of pink." Emily says in a duh tone.
I frown in confusion at her reasoning. She raises her left eyebrow before turning around and exiting the room.
Such a weird girl.
" Parker, where's my lipstick?!" I hear her yell as she walks down the hallway.
I turn back to the pile of clothes that are now scattered over the bed. Some managed to find their way onto the floor and some are hanging over my shoulder. It's a mess. How am I supposed to find something to wear for tonight when I don't even like most of the clothes?
Before I can dig into the pile I hear the sound of footsteps approaching the room.
" Emily for the love of God I don't have your -" I stop mid sentence as my eyes land on the figure standing by the door.
Definitely not Emily.
His dull yet captivating eyes bore into mine as I try and catch my breath. I'm at a complete loss of words as I take in his appearance. He looks exactly the same. From his hair style to the light stubble that has formed on his perfectly sculptured jaw line. He's dressed in his signature leather jacket and has a duffle bag over his shoulder. I didn't think it was even possible for him to look even more attractive -
Am I hallucinating?
I tightly close my eyes. As I open them again I'm not even surprised to see him still standing there. My heart aches as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. These damn tears always have a way of showing up at the wrong time. I lick over my lips as I try and think of what my next move will be.
Should I run? No, that would mean I would have to run towards him and with my luck I will most likely trip and fall into his arms.
Maybe I should just start crying? Most guys get freaked out by tears. Never mind, it would just make me look more stupid than I already feel.
I can't just stand here and allow him to see how vulnerable he left me. He doesn't get to see that side of me. Not after how he just up and left me to fight the mental battle that has been erupting inside of my head.
His eyes finally leave mine. I watch as they roam around his room that I'm currently nesting in. His eyes come back to me as he takes his time to look me up and down. I don't miss the little lip biting he does before licking his lips and clearing his throat.
" Nice set up you have here."
I'm completely blown away by how hoarse his voice sounds. What brings me back to reality is the words that left his mouth. Nice set up, that's what he has to say after completely breaking me? Is that all he can say after everything he put me through?
Unbelievable.
I don't manage to form a reply as I'm left speechless. My heart starts to race as the seconds tick by. I don't like admitting it but I'm nervous.
Come on Ally just say something!
Nope. Can't do it.
Tyler gives me a strange look as he steps into the room. The action immediately makes me step back. Not that we are close to each other at all. It's like a force is pushing me away from him the closer he gets.
He takes another step into the room until he is completely inside. All I wanted to do was yell and scream at him to leave the room but I can't really do that seeing as I am in his room.
" W-what are you d-doing here?" I stutter.
I absolutely hate this side of myself. The weak and vulnerable side.
" I live here." he automatically replies.
I think back to what Parker said about how broken Tyler was after everything that happened. Looking at Tyler now I can't seem to find the description Parker was giving me. Nothing seems to have changed from him. He still looks exactly the same. Was Parker telling the truth?
I watch as Tyler begins to unpack his duffle bag. He moves around the room as if the girl who's heart he broke a few days ago wasn't standing in the middle of it all. I don't register how closely he passes me until his shoulder lightly brushes against mine. A shiver runs down my whole body making my heart ache even more.
What is this guy doing to me?
Breathe.
I can't.
From all the emotions I thought I was going to feel from seeing him again, this was definitely not it. I don't even know what emotion this is. It's all so confusing.
" You sleeping on the left side or-"
" I can't do this." I cut him off.
He turns away from his dresser to look at me. He looks satisfied from the words that left my mouth. Like he was waiting for me to snap back to reality and show some emotion the two of us can understand.
" Can't do what?" he asks already knowing the answer.
" This!" I exclaim as my arms fly up into the air.
My breathing becomes heavy again. Who needs a gym when you have a Tyler Anderson to work you up ever so often?
" Ally -" Tyler starts as he tries to move closer to me but gets stopped when I flinch.
I don't know if it was from hearing my name come out of his mouth or from the fact that he was trying to get close to me.
" No-no this is not how it was supposed t-to go. You weren't supposed to show up now! You were supposed to stay away for God knows how long until I could figure out how I was going to handle my emotions w-when you came b-back! I'm supposed to be s-stronger than this. I'm supposed to be that strong and independent girl that life forced me to be to protect me against situations like these. God I'm so pathetic! Look at me now! L-look at me Ty. " I yell not being able to control my emotions any longer. By now there is no stopping the tears.
" Are you happy with what you have done? Do you feel satisfied after breaking my h-heart? Are you pleased with yourself knowing that you m-managed to play the bad girl? Does it make you feel more manlier k-knowing that you have more control over my life than I fucking do?! " I cry out. Tyler somehow managed to lose eye contact with me during my rant.
" Tyler look at me for God's sake! "
His eyes snap back to mine. The only thing that has changed is that he too has tears in his eyes.
Don't fall for the act.
My chest rises and falls as I try and get my breathing under control. This boy is making me believe that I have asthma.
" You weren't supposed to enter my life and I-I wasn't supposed to f-fall in love with you. " I whisper after a few minutes of silence.
I notice Tyler's face drop from my confession.
Yes I did just admit that I'm in love with him but not exactly in the way most people hope for. This is probably one of the worst ways to admit your feelings for the other person.
I look up to the ceiling to clear my head. I can finally breath after what feels like hours but with every breath I take in the more it pulls at my heart making it ache even more.
Once I feel confident enough I look back at Tyler who's eyes are still glued to me. Numerous of emotions are reflecting in his eyes but the pain in mine makes it hard for me to read his.
" I'm sorry." he whispers.
I sigh and rub my temple. One massive head ache is definitely on its way.
" I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for putting myself through all that unnecessary pain just for some guy who didn't even have the audacity to stay behind and clean up the mess he made. I'm sorry for allowing my heart to feel something other than pure hate again and then having it broken into pieces. I'm sorry for putting my trust into one person knowing he can fuck up at any time. I'm sorry for wasting so much time that I could have spent on some other shit. I'm sorry for not being selfish enough with my feelings. " I say while slowly taking the clothes off my shoulder and placing them back on the bed.
" I'm sorry for allowing myself to fall for a guy who's intention wasn't to c-catch me. " I choke out the last part.
Tyler shakes his head as he takes a few quick steps towards me. He cups my cheek with his hand to lift it up so that we are merely an inch apart.
" You don't mean that. " he whispers.
I gulp from the close proximity. I have to hold it together for both our sakes.
" Tell me you don't mean that." he says a little more aggressive this time as I watch a tear roll down his cheek.
So the bad boy can cry.
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. Slowly exhaling I open my eyes and look directly into his.
" I'm going out. " I say and before he can register what's going on I'm already out of his grip and out of the room.
A pink dress will just have to do.
_______________________________________
Don't hate me! I know I left the chapter on a very high cliff hanger but you gotta love me :)
Thank you so much for all the amazing support! You guys are honestly the reason why I keep writing :)
Here's to the end of the unspoken year and the beginning of 2021 🍻 Happy new years!
Peace out ✌️