I used to have a best friend. His name was James Wilson. I still remember the day I met him in great detail...
It was during a warm autumn day, the school year just began and I was sitting at the coloring table all by myself. Being in Kindergarten, everyone became friends with each other quite easily. Everyone besides me. I remember everyone having that one best friend and saying "we're going to be best friends forever!"
I envied that. I envied to have a best friend one day. Then it was like my wish was granted by some invisible genie when I heard an abrupt scream come from next to me. I looked up to see a tan kid with curly hair sitting next to me and he was glaring at the girl sitting next to him while gripping a blue crayon.
The girls cry was deafening so I covered my ears and just stared at the both of them.
"There's another one over there use that one." James pointed in the other direction the girl was sitting. The girl stood up but instead of getting the other crayon, she dashed over to the teacher nearly tripping on her own two feet.
I remember having to put my head down because of how hilarious the scenario was. I picked my head up, still holding in my laughter by covering my mouth, and saw the teacher scolding the curly haired boy.
"Why did you take the crayon from this young girl James?" The best option was to apologize but this James kid decided it was a better idea to argue back. "But Mrs.Patt, there were more crayons on her side of the table." Mrs.Patt sighed fixed her glasses. "James sweetie, you still could have asked Amber nicely instead of grabbing it from her." James shrugged and went back to coloring.
Mrs.Patt seemed aggravated at this point but somehow stayed calm. "James." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "If you can't treat your friends nicely then you'll have to go to the time out corner." She pointed over to the corner with bare walls, there wasn't even a window to look out of.
"I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING I WAS GOING TO GIVE BACK THE CRAYON ONCE I FINISHED COLO-" She gave James a stern look. "Now or I'll call your mother." James face was in complete shock and he looked like he was about to pee his pants from fear.
I dropped my head again but this time I couldn't control my laughter. I looked back up only to see a face filled with disappointment and disapproval. "If you find it so funny, you should join James as well Aleksandr."
I covered my mouth with tears brimming from my eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek and shook my head. "Are you done laughing Mr.Marchant?" I let out a small giggle and nodded. "I promise Mrs.Patt, I'm done." It was true, the laughing stopped, but the smile on my face didn't disappear. "Clearly not Aleksandr." The teacher stated, crossing her arms.
"Go join Mr.Wilson over in the corner Aleks." My eyes widened. "I'm sorry Mrs.P-"
She pointed over to James not saying another word. "Go."
I sighed and dragged my feet over to the corner and sat with my feet crossed in front of the wall. I glanced over at James who had his legs pressed against his chest. "What are you here for?" He questioned me like I'm his new cell mate.
"I laughed at you for taking the crayon from Amber." I smirked. "Hey..." James zipped up his cookie monster sweater. "I was using it before she took it... even if it wasn't in my hand..." His tanned face turned bright red. "I was making my mommy the best birthday present ever." He faced my direction and smiled. "Anyway's I'm James." I turned from the wall to face him. "My name's Aleksandr but people like to call me Aleks because it's shorter."
James may have had anger issues but there was no denying that he had the biggest heart a child could have... And I've never been happier to call someone my best friend. We would do everything together. Even if we had an argument with each other, it was quick to forgive and forget.
Little did I know then that in a few years I would never be able to see the person who brought joy into my life ever again.
It was the first day of third grade. James told me that he was going to be in the same class as me and of course I was so excited to see him due to the fact I haven't seen or talked to him in the past two weeks. I walk into class and searched all the seats the kids were sitting at... But I couldn't find him...
The first day ended and I still had yet to see my best friend. I entered my house to see my mother with teared filled eyes. "Mom, can you call Mrs.Wilson and ask why James wasn't in school today?" She closed her eyes and turned her head away from me. "Sweetie..." She wiped away a tear that began falling down her cheek. "He's moved... To a better place with his parents..." I tilted my head in confusion. James would have told me he was moving and if we were able to sweet each other again or not. "Where did they move mommy?" Her glossy eyes stared into mine. "They moved to the clouds..." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "A peaceful place where the people would look down and smile, telling others down here on Earth that they were safe. They would watch over us and protect us, somewhat like angels." My mother blew her nose into a tissue. "Will I be able so see James again?" The question came out of my mouth before i could stop it... but she didn't answer. All she did was hug me tightly.
Now I know that she meant James had died... I never knew how though... Until recently. I walked up to my mother who had just come home from her 10 hour work shift. "How did James die?" She gazed in shock. "It's been seven years Aleksandr. What made you even think about it again." I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, trying to hold my tears back. My voice cracked. "I've never stopped thinking about it."
I bit my lip and knelt to the floor. "James was my best friend, he made me feel happy, and after his death, I don't remember how it feels anymore, so please just help me get rid of the thoughts and tell me how he died." My mother stared guiltily at me. "He died in a car accident on his was back from his vacation at Los Angeles... A drunk driver hit them on the highway making them flip over and hitting against another car. The damage was traumatizing, killing all three of them and two others in the next car. The stupid drunk driver lived but he was sent to life in prison. Either way it can't bring back the people we loved most."
I pulled on my hair. My voice was barely audible. "Why... why did it take you so long to tell me?" She got on her knees and hugged me tightly. "I didn't want to scar you at such a young age. I knew he was your best friend. He was your everything and seeing you so happy made me happy and it was like our worries were all gone and it was thanks to James. I couldn't hurt you anymore than life already has..."
We sat there in silence after sobbing for a long time. "Sweetie we should really get sleep, you have school tomorrow and I still have to work." I nodded numbly and walked up to my room.
Now, I'm currently a junior in high school. My occupation: being a waste of space. I'm basically an unknown person in this school. I could be taking a piss in this nasty schools bathroom and hear a guy with his girlfriend who's giving head to him in one of the stalls, and they wouldn't even know I'm there. I went to elementary and middle school with most of these teens and they still, to this day, don't acknowledge me. My teachers don't even remember who I am while taking attendance. It's truly upsetting. The only positive thing about no one really realizing I exist is that I don't get picked on my the popular squad and the teachers pretty much never call on me so I could always fall asleep whenever I want.
...But in all honesty, loneliness isn't necessarily a bad thing. I could sit outside during lunch and notice all the small important things in life, and those small important things make me smile. Like how the sky can be such a vibrant blue on a warm spring day or how cute little birds build their own nest out of broken twigs. It's all just wonderful.
It's sad though, knowing that numbness replaced all my emotions and no one would be able to fix that like how James had...
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A/N - I HAD THIS DREAM OK SHUSH I DONT EVEN KNOW and first person p.o.v... I dont know how that's going to go.... i feel like i should delete this but ehhhhh..