Chenle was supposed to be out on a date until late that night.
Jisung didn't know when Chenle would be returning, it all depended on how his date went. If it went well, which Jisung was selfishly hoping against, Chenle might want to stay with the girl instead of ending the night there, spend as much time as possible with her before the night ended, maybe stroll around the city holding her hand, the way Jisung wanted to do with him. If it didn't go as planned, Chenle might come home earlier than Jisung was expecting, but he sincerely doubted that would happen.
Even on horrible dates, Chenle never left halfway through. He stuck it out until the end, because Chenle was kind and perfect, and he never wanted to abandon someone no matter how much they didn't fit together.
- 🐥 & 🐬 -
There was a knock on Jisung's bedroom door, and he groaned at the disruption.
He really couldn't be bothered to stand up to let the person in, so he decided not to move, and rationalised that if it was anything important, whoever it was would enter the room themselves. If it was something unimportant, they would leave him alone, and either way, it would make no difference to the male.
The door opened silently, revealing Chenle standing in the opening between the hallway and Jisung's room. His dark eyes met Jisung's, and understanding passed between them, without the need for words. Chenle crossed the threshold into the room and closed the door behind him with a soft click that resonated, an echo in the otherwise complete silence.
"You're back early," Jisung commented, trying not to seem too happy about that fact.
"It, uh, didn't go very well," Chenle replied, following his words with a shrug.
"What happened?" Jisung asked, patting the spot next to him on the bed to show Chenle that he was ready to listen to anything, even if it meant the older ranting for the next hour about a girl Jisung hardly knew. If it was what Chenle needed, Jisung was just about willing to do anything.
"It's not a big deal," Chenle said, "Sometimes it takes a long time to find someone you actually match with, you know? I can't expect my first date to go perfectly and end the night having a new girlfriend."
"But this isn't your first date, you've gone on a date almost every day this week."
"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?" Chenle asked. It was obvious that he was trying to sound playful, teasing, but it was just as obvious that he was failing.
Jisung stood up when he realised that Chenle wasn't going to move from where he was standing, in the center of the room, his gaze fixed on Jisung but doing nothing to move closer to the younger male.
Jisung didn't think before he acted, he knew that when it came to Chenle, such a thing would only lead to him overthinking, so he just did what he hoped would help Chenle feel better.
He placed his hand on Chenle's cheek and, as if on instinct, Chenle leaned into the touch, looking up at Jisung through his eyelashes. He looked absolutely beautiful at that angle, but then again, Jisung thought he looked pretty at any angle.
"You'll find someone who likes you," Jisung told him, "You're amazing, you're kind, your laugh is the most adorable sound in the world and it makes everyone around you happy. Your personality can make anyone fall for you, and your enthusiasm for things that you love is contagious. I don't think I even have to mention your appearance because you get compliments from people on an hourly basis, but you're beautiful too. Not that that's the most important thing, because you're going to find someone who likes you for more than your appearance, someone who likes you for the other things that make you amazing."
"Really?" Chenle asked. He was still looking up at Jisung through his long eyelashes.
And because Jisung was feeling strangely confident, he said something he never thought he would have the courage to say out loud, "And if you can't find anyone like that, you can always just date me."
Chenle spluttered, his face turning bright red. He placed a hand on Jisung's chest and used it to lightly push the younger male away from him, turning away as if to hide the blush that covered his face, but it was futile, because Jisung had already seen it, and he was mesmerised by the reaction he had managed to rise from the other male.
"Why- why would you-," Chenle didn't seem to be able to form a coherent sentence.
It was as though Jisung and Chenle had switched roles for once, and Jisung was finally the one making Chenle a nervous mess, rather than the other way around. It felt oddly good, but it made Jisung wonder if Chenle's reaction to his words had been for the same reason as Jisung's reactions, or if he was only nervous because he felt uncomfortable getting attention from another male when he was straight.
"Don't say things like that!" Chenle eventually said, a frown on his beautiful face as he pushed his hair out of his eyes with one hand.
Jisung felt his stomach twist painfully, and he looked down towards the ground.
Of course Chenle hated the idea of dating Jisung, he would never see Jisung as anything more than a best friend. But Jisung was too far gone for the older male to ever go back, there was nothing that could make him forget his feelings for the older after so many years of hopelessly pining. Jisung wanted to let all of his feelings out, he wanted to finally get the words out, to shout at Chenle until the older understood what he had been doing to Jisung all these years.
He swallowed back his fear of rejection, "Why would it be so horrible to date me?" Jisung asked, "You've said it yourself many times, I know you better than anyone. I know what you like and don't like. I've always been by your side."
"That- that's not the point, Jisung," Chenle said. His voice was hard, cold. "You're not allowed to joke around with me like that. You never understand how much you hurt people."
Chenle's words hurt. It felt like someone had taken a bucket of ice-cold water and had dumped it over of his head, dousing him in it. Suddenly, the world seemed to slow down, but not in a good way. The world felt like it was crumbling down around Jisung, he felt suddenly numb, and his blood ran cold.
"I'm not allowed to joke with you? I hurt people? You don't understand how much you hurt people, Chenle!" Jisung yelled through his tears, "You don't know how often I've been in pain because of you and I always have to pretend to be completely fine! You never even noticed!"
"I hurt people?" Chenle retorted, "Dozens of girls and guys ask you out all the time and you always refuse them. You're not even nice about it, you reject them coldly. I've always known that you like to play with people's feelings, but I never thought you would do it to me!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Jisung asked, his voice lowering from a shout to a shocked whisper.
"Do you know why all these dates aren't working, Sungie?" Chenle asked, sounding broken. He didn't wait for an answer, Jisung was glad. "It's because I don't want them to go well. Everyone you've sent me on a date with has been great, they would be great friends and there's nothing wrong with them, but I only want one person. Haeun made me realise something when she came out to me, and then I realised something else when she introduced us to her girlfriend."
"What did you realise?"
"I want you," Chenle admitted, tears running down his cheeks as he looked at Jisung with wide eyes filled with fear, "That's all I've ever wanted. I like you, as more than just a friend, and you can't- I can't- don't make jokes like that. It'll make it harder to get over you."
"Then don't get over me," Jisung said, taking a step forward towards Chenle, "Date me instead."
Jisung didn't know what he was doing, nothing felt real. He just knew that Chenle was crying, and stopping his tears was the only thought running through Jisung's mind.
"Jisung," Chenle hiccuped, "I told you to stop."
"But I'm serious," Jisung told him, grabbing Chenle's wrist and using it to pull the older male the rest of the way towards him. He lifted Chenle's hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on each one of his knuckles, then looked back up at the male, meeting Chenle's eyes as he did so, the older having been staring at Jisung.
Jisung leaned down to kiss the tears that were running down Chenle's cheeks, and the shorter giggled at the feeling, using his free hand to grab Jisung's waist.
"If we're dating now," Chenle said shyly, "Does that mean you'll kiss me?"
Jisung flushed red, and it was Chenle's turn to be the confident one of the two. Jisung had been fine until that point, mostly because he had been too focused on comforting the crying male to think about anything else, but his brain was finally catching up with the events of the past few minutes, and suddenly he was back to the nervous mess he had always been before when Chenle was nearby.
"I-" Jisung started, but his words were interrupted by Chenle's lips on his.
It felt a thousand times better than anything Jisung could have imagined. None of Jisung's dreams or daydreams could compare to the real feeling, to the feel of having Chenle pressed as close to him as their bodies allowed, their lips moving in harmony, like a well-rehearsed dance.
It wasn't as dramatic a moment as dramas made it out to be, but Jisung wouldn't have it any other way. It felt normal, it had the comfort of coming home, of being somewhere safe. There was nothing surprising about the kiss, no fireworks exploding around them, other than the brief surprise Jisung had felt when Chenle had pressed his lips onto his. It was slow and soft.
It was more intimate than anything Jisung had imagined, like they were the only two people in the world.
A feeling of warmth surrounded him, and he was reminded of the times when he and Chenle would bury themselves under piles of blankets to escape the cold of the winter, the two snuggled together as tight as possible and giggling about topics they hardly ever remembered the next day.
Jisung had had his first kiss stolen from him, and it had felt awful.
That kiss had made Jisung wonder if all kisses felt that way, and if they did, he had decided that he didn't understand the obsession with kissing your partner. But he understood now, because he never wanted to part from Chenle, and he would have continued to kiss him forever if it had been possible.
It was like the older male was erasing everything Hyojin had done to Jisung, and replacing those terrible memories with better ones.
When they finally parted, Jisung was breathless but happy.
"Shut up," Chenle said, and Jisung cocked his head to the side in confusion.
"What?" He wrinkled his nose, "We just started dating and you're already being mean to me? Wow."
"You wouldn't stop talking, and now you're doing it again," Chenle teased, "Maybe I'll have to shut you up with another kiss."
"Maybe," Jisung replied, and so Chenle did.
They kissed a second time, and it was just as good as the first. Jisung didn't think he would ever tire of kissing Chenle.
When they parted, it was Jisung who initiated the third kiss. They stumbled to Jisung's bed, the younger pushing Chenle back onto the mattress, straddling him as they kissed. When they eventually separated, both panting, Jisung pressed a soft, final kiss to Chenle's hair.
"This might be the best idea you've ever had," Chenle told him later that night, head resting on Jisung's shoulder as the two held each other tightly.
Jisung giggled, "I agree."
- 🐥 & 🐬 -
𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑐 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟, 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡?
𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜, 𝑖𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑃1𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝?
𝐼'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑓 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦.