During the drive to Carina's house, it gradually went from a light and easy sprinkle to an absolute onslaught and downpour of rain. Lily's glad that she left the time that she did otherwise she would've gotten lost trying to see the road ahead of her. The thunder was rumbling so deep and loud that Lily could feel it in her chest. It felt like that one time she was a The 1975 concert and she was placed right near where the speakers were and the bass echoed inside of her.
Lily parks her car in the street in front of Carina's house before getting out and sprinting as fast as she can across the front lawn without any umbrella or any waterproof gear. Needless to say water was seeping through her shirt, pants, and inside her boots. And the fact that it was pretty damn cold didn't help with the chilling of her skin.
Lily quickly rings the doorbell and hugs herself as she hops up and down in her spot, trying to warm herself up. "Come on, Carina," she mutters to herself after waiting for an unusually long time, teeth slightly chattering. She normally opens the door seconds after Lily rings it and now it's been a couple of minutes. The thunder was getting louder and she would be lying if she said she wasn't feel a bit uneasy right now too.
Lily shoots Carina a quick text ("GET UR ASS DOWN HERE NOW AND OPEN THIS DOOR WOMAN") and bangs on the door loudly a few times for good measure. Finally, the door swings open and in view comes a very apologetic looking Carina as soon as she spots Lily, cold and wet. "I am so sorry," she frowns as she pulls her inside by the hand. "I didn't hear you at first because I was listening to music to try to drown out the noise."
"No, I understand, love," Lily says sincerely as she plants a affectionate kiss on her temple. "You okay?"
"This is going to sound so cheesy and typical as hell, but now I am," Carina laughs, wrapping her arms around Lily's midsection, resting the side of her head on her chest. Apparently the fact that Lily's clothes are soaking wet doesn't seem to bother her. "I wish that line wasn't so overused and cliché but I am seriously okay now that you're here."
"Get off of me," Lily chuckles, "you're going to get your clothes wet too."
"I don't mind."
"But I do."
Carina rolls her eyes and lets go of Lily, a part of the front of her long-sleeved shirt now a bit wet. "You're like a dog who accidentally ran out into the rain," she giggles.
"I'm going to start keeping track of the amount of times you compare me to a certain animal," Lily laughs as she hugs herself, the drenched clothing making her skin cold.
Carina notices and leads Lily up the stairs by the hand and takes her into her room. Then, once they're there, Lily looks down at her feet. She's slowly and steadily creating a small puddle around her on Carina's carpet as water drips off of her clothes. Lovely.
With a raised eyebrow, Carina follows Lily's gaze. She laughs when she notices the small circle of water as well as Lily's pouting face. "No biggie. It'll dry eventually. Let me get you some clothes."
Lily would sit down, but the last thing she would want is to cover the rest of Carina's furniture with water. So she just stands there in her little self-made puddle, shivering slightly. If someone were to walk in right now, the first assumption that would pop in their heads would be that Lily totally pissed herself.
"Where are your folks at tonight?" Lily calls out to Carina, who steps out of her closet a few seconds later.
"I think they went to see a movie and then dinner or something," she replies. "They asked if I wanted to join along with them but I said no. They've been stuck with me the past couple of weeks so I'm sure they were lowkey rejoicing that I declined. But here you go." Carina hands Lily some clean, dry clothes and she smiles appreciatively.
"I feel like sooner or later our closets are going to be so mixed up with each other's clothes."
Carina laughs as she visualizes the thought. "I'll be rocking your black skinny jeans and flannel while you're rocking my Spider-Man hoodie."
Lily scrunches her nose in disapproval as she shakes her head. "Like hell anyone other than you would see me wearing that."
"Oh, come on! I think it's cute."
"Carina, it's Spider-Man."
"My point exactly."
Lily rolls her eyes playfully before leaning over and giving the younger girl a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. Carina blushes softly in response. "Spider-Man would be very happy to have someone like you looking up to him," Lily says right before she turns and heads into Carina's bathroom to change.
She quickly strips the wet clothes off of her and throws the old Boys Like Girls hoodie on her body. She smiles contently as she looks at herself in the mirror. That's much better. This is something she would wear in public. Anything than that god-awful superhero sweatshirt. It's a good thing Lily finds Carina so irresistibly adorable.
Lily then slips on the pair of black leggings before she walks out of the bathroom to find Carina sprawled on her stomach on the bed with headphones in her ears, too engrossed to even notice Lily. The volume probably is up high in an attempt to drone out the heavy rain and low rumble of the thunder.
Lily strolls over to the bed and hops on it. She then places her hands and knees on either side of Carina's body, hovering over her for a second before plopping right down on top of her back.
Carina lets out a small groan in response to Lily's weight suddenly being dropped on her. "What do you think you're doing?" she asks curiosity as she takes one of her earphones out, turning her neck around as best as she can to try to look at Lily, whose cheek is resting right in between Carina's shoulder blades.
"You're really comfy," Lily mumbles with a happy smile.
Carina laughs softly as she shakes her head in adoration before laying her head down on the bed.
Lily stays in that position for a while, her head moving with the slow and steady rise and fall of Carina's back and shoulders with every breath she takes. They're both just enjoying each other's presence and warmth with Carina particularly seeking comfort and security in Lily on this stormy night.
Eventually at one point, Carina flipped herself over completely, now resting on her back with Lily's head on her chest. In this position, Lily is able to just barely make out the song that Carina is listening to. Hazy by Rosi Golan.
There are many things that are happening around Lily right now and she takes a moment to appreciate all of them. Carina's fingers lightly scratching up and down her spine, the beautiful beating of her heart, their legs tangled with each other, the warmth of her body, the way she's softly humming along with her music, the rain hitting the window mercilessly outside, the few bolts of lightning here and there before being trailed closely behind by the various sounds of thunder. The contrast of the serene atmosphere in Carina's room versus the harsh weather outside is so strong, yet perfect. There isn't any place Lily would rather be right now.
Carina's hands leave Lily's back for a second to take out both of her earphones before returning to dance her fingers lovingly on her back over her sweatshirt.
"Thank you," Carina says sincerely, the first time either of them have said anything for a while. "I feel like I'm always thanking you for something but I hope you know I appreciate you and everything you do for me so much."
Lily smiles at her kind, soft words and scoots herself up a bit more to tuck her nose against the crook of Carina's neck instead. She plants a kiss right below Carina's ear and Lily swears she hears a low, sultry breath escape her lips. Everyone has a sweet spot and it looks like Lily just found Carina's. She smirks to herself in pride as she makes that mental note.
"You're very welcome," Lily answers, her lips brushing against her neck with every word. "But you already know I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here without you."
Carina laughs at Lily's lyrical reference to the song she sang for her a couple of weeks ago. "Nice implementation," she praises Lily.
A somewhat loud clap of thunder occurs and immediately Carina latches on closer to Lily with a snake-like grip. Lily holds her tense body tighter as well, repeatedly whispering in her ear that she's there and that she's okay.
But Carina is definitely handling this storm a lot better than the first time. She was in tears and absolutely miserable the entire night. Now, she's trying her best to try to ignore it and it's working for the most part. She's still relying on Lily for protection and reassurance, but she's not as distraught as she was the first time.
"Is there a place in this world that is completely prone to thunderstorms and rain in general?" Carina asks. "Because if so, I'm going to have to say goodbye to you."
"Like hell you are," Lily scoffs. "You just now entered into my life and I don't want you out of it."
Carina's quiet for a moment before she presses her lips warmly against Lily's forehead. "I was kidding. I'd deal with thunderstorms every single night if it meant I got to keep you."
Lily's heart flutters at her words, not only because it was so ridiculously sweet, but because of how genuine and honest it sounded coming out of her mouth. Like she really wants Lily just as much as Lily wants her. Lily places her hands on either side of Carina's head and lifts herself up. Carina looks up at Lily expectantly with big, brown eyes and she doesn't even try to hide the fact that she is blatantly staring at Lily's lips.
Lily blinks at her a few times before lowering herself down and capturing Carina's lips with hers tenderly. Carina's hands find their way up to Lily's face and she caresses her cheeks as their mouths move in perfect sync, not too fast and not too slow, but with so much passion that Lily feels like her heart is going to explode.
"Wait," Carina says, as she pulls away after a few minutes, each of her heavy, hot breaths hitting Lily's lips. Her eyes are wide, lust-filled. "I know that I was the one that suggested that we wait a bit longer before we make things official, but Lily, God, I want this and I want you. Now. I want to be able to kiss you in front of others and when they ask us if we're together, I want to hold your hand and smile in pride as I tell them 'yes'. I want to be able to walk around the town with you on my arm as I show you off to the world and flaunt the fact that I belong to the most beautiful person in the world. I want you to be mine and I want me to be yours."
Lily's heart is beating with nothing but affection for her. Carina's never said anything remotely that genuinely passionate before, but she believed in every single word. She's so touched right now that she's on the verge of tears because no one has ever made Lily feel so wanted before in her life and the feeling is foreign and overwhelming, but she knows that Carina's able to continue giving it to her and she doesn't want to give that up.
Lily softly pushes Carina's hair away from her face and uses her thumbs to caress her cheeks. Lily swallows, so overcome with emotions that she feels her hands slightly trembling. "God, Carina, I've always been yours," she whispers as she presses their foreheads together. "Since the first day I met you I've been yours. You just didn't know it," Lily kisses Carina ever so gently once again. "Now will you do the honors of being mine?"
A wide grin slowly spreads across Carina's features, her eyes crinkling in the corners as she covers her face with her hands and let's out a happy squeal as she nods her head enthusiastically.
Oh god. If Lily thought she was fucked before, she's so fucked now. Carina is literally celebrating the fact that they're now together as an official couple. If she would've known that Carina would react this way, Lily would've asked her a while ago.
Suddenly, Lily's heart drops when she remembers their whole letter predicament. She doesn't want to keep this from Carina, especially not now that they're together. She was so honest with Lily about her feelings just now that she feels that it's only right to reciprocate. And this is something that's so huge that the guilt would probably kill her eventually if she doesn't mention it. Lily silently curses to herself for dragging it out for so long.
"What's wrong?" Carina asks, voice oozing with concern as she looks up at her with furrowed eyebrows.
Lily pulls herself off of Carina and frowns. She was hoping this conversation would never have to occur but the longer she waits it out, the worse it'll be. Carina can either respond in two ways: she can either explode and hate Lily forever, or she can be calm and understanding. Though the latter seems incredibly too far-fetched, there's still a small sliver of hope.
Carina sits up, and places a hand on Lily's knee. "Hey," she whispers, "talk to me. What's wrong?"
Lily clenches her jaw as she looks at Carina's worried face. "I'm scared to tell you," Lily mumbles reluctantly.
"Tell me what?" Carina asks. She scoots up closer to Lily and cups her face. "You're scaring me right now."
Lily carefully takes Carina's hands down from her face and instead holds them in her lap, running her thumb across her skin repeatedly. Carina's patiently waiting for her to say something, but her words are failing her and she feels her palms starting to sweat. She's so nervous and horrified at the huge possibility of Carina getting upset with her. But she has to suck it up. This isn't about her. This is about being honest to her girlfriend.
Oh, shit. Her girlfriend. This just made things so much harder.
Come on, Lily. Just rip the bandage off and stop worrying about yourself.
She closes her eyes shut for a moment before letting a deep, long, and shaky breath. She opens her eyes to find Carina still looking back at her, waiting for her to speak.
"I'm who you've been writing to for the past 3 months."
Carina blinks and a confused expression falls over her face. "Wait, what?"
God. She really doesn't want to repeat it. It was hard enough the first time. Lily internally winces to herself as she begrudgingly says, "For our English assignment, I'm your partner. I'm the person that you've been talking to. I found out about a month ago and-"
"-Whoa, whoa," Carina interrupts, placing her hand up to stop Lily's words. "What the hell do you mean you found out about a month ago? You've known all this time?"
"Yes," Lily answers guiltily. "I, uhm, recognized your handwriting that first day we ever spoke and then you wrote about me in a letter a few days later..."
Carina's jaw tenses and she slides off of her bed. She stands up as she stares at Lily with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes dark. "So what you mean to tell me is that you've known about this literally throughout the entire course of our friendship and you didn't even dare run it by me until now? Even when you knew exactly how I felt about you?"
Lily ducks her head down in shame against Carina's words. She was expecting this kind of reaction, but that doesn't mean she was prepared for it. She hates seeing Carina like this, especially knowing that it's all her fault.
"I know that you have every reason to be mad at me-"
"-Do you?" Carina spats. "Do you really know how I feel right now? Lily, do you know how personal those letters are? I thought I was talking to someone who had no idea who I was so I felt comfortable enough to write about those things because I felt like it was confidential. I shared my feelings and secrets in those letters because I thought they were anonymous. I can't believe this.... Do you even really like me? Or are you just taking advantage of the fact that you know how much I like you, thinking you have an easy chance with me?"
Now it's Lily's time to get defensive. She gets up from the bed and stands in front of Carina, pointing an accusing finger at her. "What is that supposed to mean?" she throws back at the younger girl.
"Don't act like I don't know about the rep that you had last year," Carina scoffs. "I know that you would hook up with girls one night, leave in the morning, the never talk to them again. Am I just going to be another one of those girls? You using my feelings for you to your benefit and then dropping me on my ass when you get your hands in my pants?"
Okay. That hurt.
"Are you fucking serious?" Lily shouts as she takes a step closer to her, pure aggression and anger boiling inside of her, making her skin get increasingly warm. "How dare you use my past against me! You should know more than anyone else that I'm not like that anymore, Carina! Do you really think that lowly of me to question my feelings for you? To question everything that we've done and all the words and kisses and hugs that we've exchanged this past month? Would I be here right now if I didn't care about you?"
Carina lets out a humorless, cold laugh that doesn't have the same effect on Lily that it did before. "Well it is the perfect opportunity for you to get what you probably wanted from the get-go, isn't it?"
Lily clenches her jaw tightly and walks around Carina towards her desk where she placed her keys. She wasn't going to stand there and get insulted by her offensive innuendos. Carina was implying that Lily is incapable of having genuine and real feelings for people and that she only was using Carina for sex, which could not be further from the truth. She wasn't going to listen to it for another second.
"Where do you think you're going?" Carina questions, following right behind her.
"Where do you think?" Lily answers harshly once she grabs her keys. "Home." Carina immediately snatches it away from her, not even giving Lily time to fight back. "Give it back to me," she growls bitterly. "Now."
"No! I'm not going to let you drive in this fucking storm."
"Fine. I can walk home," Lily says as she turns to walk towards the door. "Have fun by yourself in this storm. I don't even know why I wasted my time coming here in the first place."
Lily's not surprised when she turns around to see Carina not behind her by the time she reaches the end of the hallway. She's too afraid of the ongoing storm to follow her. Lily puts on her boots and throws the hood over her head before opening the door and slamming it shut behind her. Hard.
She wasn't exactly serious when she said she was going to walk home considering it would take her hours, but she couldn't just stand there and have Carina say all of those things to her face. It really fucking hurt to have someone that means as much to her as Carina does expressing those deep and hidden thoughts that she has about her.
Now it's making Lily question everything.
Has Carina really always thought of Lily like that? Does she really think that everything they had was all some lie? Does she really think that the only thing that Lily cares about is sleeping around?
Lily as a person last year is not even remotely close to the person who she is today. Carina is the reason why she's changed so much because she didn't think she was really capable of liking someone as much as her. But Carina proved her wrong. She's different than anyone else she's liked before and she makes Lily so happy and she finds herself always wanting to be around her because she knows she'll always have a smile on her face. But not now.
Now Carina is the reason for her inability to make out the differences between tears and the rain pouring down on her face.
Lily has never cried over another girl before simply because she's never felt something as deep for them as she does with Carina. Like Desi said before, she definitely was known around the halls as "Heartbreak Joelle" and although Lily has had her fair share of one night stands before in the past, it doesn't mean that she would ever want Carina to be added to that list. God, no. She wants so much more than that.
She keeps on blinking the rain and tears out of her eyes as she walks with no destination in mind, but it still keeps coming down. She's glad that there isn't anyone around to see or hear her like this, but at the same time she does want someone and that someone is the same person who's the reason for making her feel like this right now.
Carina has every reason to be upset with her, but what she retaliated with was so unexpected and out of line. Lily has always been an extremely defensive person and she's particularly sensitive when it comes from people she cares about. Hearing any criticism from her parents or close friends hits her a lot more than any random person she doesn't know. It's funny how those who mean something to you are capable of inflicting the most damage.
The longer she walks around, the more her clothes get wet and the heavier it gets on her. Not to mention the chilling wind is making her skin start to feel numb. The lightening and thunder passed a while ago, but the rain is still coming down. She takes a seat on some random curb in Carina's neighborhood and decides to let her tired feet rest for a bit. She looks around the unfamiliar landscape and realized that she doesn't really know where she is. She's been outside now for about half an hour or so, but she couldn't have gone that far considering she made sure to go around in circles. She'll figure it out later. Her mind is too preoccupied with her and Carina's horrible argument earlier.
How did they go from kissing, to them making their relationship official, to screaming nasty things back and forth at each other all within maybe 10 minutes? It almost seems unbelievable thinking about how that could have possibly happened.
Lily hugs her knees to her chest and closes her eyes, the rain coming down too hard and too fast for her eyes to keep up. She's physically and mentally exhausted, cold, angry and sad. Yet she still absolutely adores Carina. She could be mad at her, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't care about her more than anything. She can't quite remember if she said anything that was as mean as the things that Carina spit at her, but she feels guilty about the whole thing. She knows she shouldn't have waited so long to tell her because feelings became involved and they fell deeper and deeper for each other every single day, which made things so much more complicated and Lily had more to lose. Maybe including losing her girlfriend of what? 30 minutes?
The rain unexpectedly stops pouring down on Lily all of a sudden and she looks up to find an umbrella hovering over her. She turns around to see a shivering snd scared Carina being the owner of the umbrella.
"Please come back inside," she says, her voice quiet against the thrashing of the rain.
Lily lets out an aggravated huff as she shifts her eyes back in front of her, the stubborn part of her refusing to come crawling back to Carina's arms so easily and giving her that satisfaction.
"Why should I?" Lily asks. "So you can insult me again?"
"No, so you can fucking be dry and warm and not get kidnapped or killed. I don't want to talk or argue. I just want you inside."
Lily's not stupid. She knows that there is no way in hell that she would be able to stay outside here all night without putting herself in danger. And she was seriously starting to get really cold that she wouldn't be surprised if her fingers fell off the next morning.
Without a word, Lily gets up and stands beside Carina, but not close enough to touch her. They walk back to the house together without saying a single word but Lily is so grateful and relieved that Carina went out to look for her and find her. She's also flattered, knowing just how scared Carina is of storms. She pushed that fear aside because she was worried about her. If Lily still wasn't so irritated and offended, she would kiss her all over her face. And her feet.
Salvia and Antonio are home now and they're sitting on the couch, giving Lily an odd look as soon as they spot her. She would be a little curious too if she saw her daughter bringing in a completely soaked friend inside the house. But they must detect the strong tension between them because they awkwardly just shift back in their seats after giving Lily a small wave, not saying another word.
"You can shower and do whatever else you need in my room," Carina mutters monotonously. "I'll sleep in the guest room tonight."
Lily simply nods. She wasn't expecting to cuddle with her tonight anyways. She then heads upstairs, her wet boots squeaking with every step and she closes Carina's bedroom door behind her and looks around the familiar yet empty room.
She also wasn't planning on talking to her tonight.
--
Carina glances at the clock on the wall to see that it now reads 11:33 PM. The storm passed a while ago, but that only gives her more time to focus on the conflicting thoughts and contrasting feelings she has inside of her.
Carina drops her face down on the pillow of the unfamiliar bed in the unfamiliar guest room. She lets out a muffled scream, trying with fail to release the pent up emotions that tonight's events have caused.
She feels a little bit of everything. She feels heartbroken, betrayed, angry, sad, irritated, and frustrated. But butterflies still stir in her stomach at the thought of those enticing green eyes and that infectious smile.
Why didn't Lily tell her earlier? Lily knew exactly how she felt about her and she kept that secret for almost a month now. And she pretended like she didn't have any clue about it in the letters she wrote back. In fact, she was even encouraging Carina to go for it with Lily.
Of course she did.
There's a knock on the door and immediately Carina thinks that it's Lily but when the familiar sound of her mother's voice comes to play, she lets herself relax. She wasn't ready to talk to the green-eyed girl down the hallway. Not yet.
"Carina?" Salvia asks as she hesitatingly opens the door and steps inside. "Are you okay?"
Carina shrugs her shoulders limply. "Define 'okay'."
Her mom walks over and sits beside her on the bed, stroking her long, brown hair. "I don't know what happened between you and Lily, but she's really upset, mija."
"Okay, well, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be upset either," Carina snaps. She then lets out a sigh when she realizes she shouldn't be directing her emotions towards her mom. She's just trying to help. "Mom, I love you, but I don't expect you to understand the issue that's going on between us right now and I'm not up for talking about it either."
"I know you aren't and I'm not saying that you have to talk to me about it," Salvia begins sympathetically, "but what I am telling you is that you're not the only one hurting in the situation. I heard her crying while I was on my way here."
Carina's heart sinks to her stomach. Lily's crying? She remembers seeing her cry for the first time after Lily explained her mom's inability to have children and it really pained her.
Wait. Lily shared something so deep and so personal to her even though their friendship was just starting to develop at the point. Carina furrows her eyebrows in thought. Would Lily tell her something like that if she didn't genuinely trust her enough?
Guilt is beginning to build up inside of her. What if everything she accused Lily of earlier was just out of spite and anger and that she actually is completely different than the person she was last year? Carina knows that it's not fair to bring her precious reputation up like that and use it against her. It's never good to bring up a person's past, but she was just so furious and hurt.
Trusting people never came easily for Carina. She's never opened up to people because she's been so used to temporary people and her parents definitely played a role in cementing that type of mindset in her. Amanda is the only exception. They've known each other for so long that Carina's grown to trust her with her life. But Lily was different.
She made everything easier. Carina used to be so painfully shy and she still is, but not with her. Lily makes it easy to be herself, to say what she wants, to express her interests and hobbies without worrying about being judged. Lily was always there to encourage her with everything she did. She was there to hold her when she was scared, smile at her when she needed support, and cheer her up when she was sad.
Now Lily is probably lying down on the bed with tears down her face wondering where Carina is to return the favor.
"But I don't think she wants to talk to me right now," Carina says sadly, partially to herself and partially to her mom. When Carina first found her sitting on the curb in the rain and asked her to come back inside, Lily initially questioned it and refused. She's just as angry and she has good reason to. "I made a big mistake, Mom."
Salvia places Carina's head down on her shoulder and rubs her back comfortingly. "Luckily for you, mistakes are unintentional and can be fixed."
Carina nods understandingly. She has a lot to apologize for, but right now, it might be best to let them both sleep off some of the emotions and proceed with the much-needed conversation in the morning. The bearing weight of her eyelids was beginning to take a toll on her as well. Tonight was definitely exhausting.
"Thanks, mama," Carina says as she hugs her tightly. "Wouldn't know what I would do with ya."
"Well for starters, you literally wouldn't be here right now."
Mom jokes. They're almost as bad as Dad jokes.
But that was enough to make her laugh, something she hasn't done in a while.
--
Carina wakes up the following morning at around 8, more tired than usual. But most of all, she really misses Lily. After their tense argument last night, Carina was beyond pissed and frustrated with Lily but after her enlightening conversation with her mom, Carina was able to pull her head out of her ass and realize that Lily also has reasons to be pissed and frustrated with Carina as well. They were both at fault and Carina wasn't helping by being unforgivably rude to her. She was just angry and her emotions really got the best of her.
Now that her stubbornness has worn off a bit, she forces herself to get up from bed. She needs to talk to her and apologize. Putting herself in Lily shoes, she wouldn't really know what to do as well. Lily was just put into an unfortunate and complicated position where she was conflicted about what to do because in reality, no matter what she decided to do, things would've wound up messy as hell. Mix in genuine feelings and it makes things all the more worse.
Carina drags her feet down the hallway and stops in front of her bedroom door. She wipes her sweaty palms on her pants and takes a deep, nervous breath. Now it's Carina who's dreading talking to Lily. The tables have really turned.
She gently knocks on the door with her knuckles three times and waits patiently for any response from Lily.
She doesn't get any.
Carina knows that they're going to have to talk sooner or later so might as well read the bandage off now. She turns the knob of the door and pushes it open slowly.
"Lily?" she asks timidly as she steps inside of her room. "Can we...."
She lets her voice drag off when she doesn't see the raven-haired girl anywhere. Her bed is perfectly made, so Lily was there for the night. She must have left this morning before Carina woke up.
Carina makes her way over to her bed and lies down on it stomach-first. She can just barely make out Lily's scent and it's like a punch in the gut. Carina wishes to make amends and talk it out with her, but it appears that Lily doesn't feel the same way.
Now Carina really is just another girl Lily leaves in the morning.