"And that honestly surprises me," she says. "But you don't make things uncomfortable for me. In fact, you kind of do the exact opposite," she smiles shyly as she reaches over and gently overlaps Lily's fingers with hers, Carina's fingertips rough and calloused, which doesn't surprise Lily in the slightest because Carina shared in one of her letters that she's a guitar player. "So thank you for that."
Lily hopes and prays that Carina can't hear her heart beating violently in her chest and she's officially lost all control of herself, her body frozen against her soft and innocent gesture. Then the bell obnoxiously rings, forcing Carina to tear her eyes and hand away as she turns back around in her seat, leaving Lily blushing madly.
--
The rest of the class, unfortunately, was pretty much Ms. Ashworth speaking the entire time which didn't allow Lily to really talk to Carina and because it would be rude as hell. So she just let her favorite teacher go on and on about the racism and societal background that was present during the time in which Huckleberry Finn was written while her mind kept repeating Carina's proclamation of fondness for her "anonymous" partner. The best part about it was that Carina meant every word considering she has no idea it's actually Lily she's been writing to. Lily was just someone she confided in with the genuine information and surprise, surprise! It's about her.
Boy, what a lovely Monday morning.
Lily hopes to god no one noticed her during her random moments of grinning from ear-to-ear while Ms. Ashworth discussed the awful thing that is racism. How horribly inappropriate that must make Lily look like to others if they caught her in the act.
The bell rings and Lily's temporary daydream gets interrupted when she hears the collective sound of desk and chair legs scraping against the tile floors, folders and binders and notebooks being shoved into backpacks, and the increasingly loud clamor of her classmates' voices fill her ears.
Lily quickly puts her things away and slides her arms through her backpack straps, the heavy weight causing her to ever so slightly stumble backwards. She really needs to empty out the crap in there before she strains her spine and shoulders.
Carina noticed Lily's little misstep and she chuckles. "Now look who's the clumsy one," she teases, her nose adorably scrunching up. Oh dear god. Carina is actually trying to kill her.
"Still you," Lily throws back sticking her tongue out like an immature little 5-year-old, which at that age, was a teenager's equivalence of sticking up their middle finger.
Carina rolls her eyes playfully but smiles nevertheless. "So where you headed?" she asks curiously, her voice still quiet and small, but at least she's comfortable enough to initiate conversation and that makes Lily feel really good about herself. It's flattering to know that someone as shy as Carina feels pretty okay with speaking to her.
"I have physics next, then history, then math," Lily answers as they begin to walk out the door. "What about yourself?" Lily then chivalrously steps aside and gestures for Carina to walk through first.
Carina smiles appreciatively as she passes by the taller girl and once Lily is right by her side again as they maneuver through the sea of what seems to be a million students, she says, a little louder this time for Lily to actually be able to hear over the commotion, "I actually have the same classes as you, but different periods. So next I have history, then math, then physics."
Damn. Of course she would have different periods.
"Also, I'm really kind of nervous about this presentation in English in a few days," Carina adds, fumbling with her hands a bit as they walk rather slowly together, Lily very much enjoying every second of the way.
Lily looks at her with an utterly confused expression on her face. "Pause," she says, holding a hand up. "What presentation?"
Carina laughs easily. "She talked about it like the last few minutes of class. Were you not paying attention today?" Apparently not.
Lily takes a moment and stares straight ahead in front of her, trying with everything she has to see if she has any recollection of Ashworth speaking about a presentation and after a few moments, she gives up before she hurts herself trying. She must have really been preoccupied with Carina on her mind like a lovesick fool.
Lily throws her arms up exasperatedly. "Well shit," she sighs dramatically. "I'm glad you told me otherwise I would've been screwed."
They make it to Carina's history class, which is on the way to Lily's physics class where Desi awaits, undoubtedly anticipating Lily's juicy little details about her and Carina's second collision with each other.
"You can ask me about it tomorrow morning and I can fill you in on what we have to do," Carina kindly offers as she stops right outside the door and turns around to look up at Lily. She's getting really good with this eye contact thing. Lily, on the other hand, needs a little bit more help. Her chocolate orbs exude nothing but warmth and gentleness. They make her feel happy.
Now with Carina's eyes directly on her, Lily's nerves come back and they come back hard. She rubs the back of her neck nervously with her hand and nods her head a little too excessively. Lily needs to calm down before she gives herself whiplash. "Uh, yeah! That-that sounds great, thank you."
Carina smiles brightly and god, it was getting harder and harder to remain calm, cool, and collected. Well, not that Lily has ever been the past few days around her. The effect that Carina has on her is insane and it's so foreign, but it's such an addictive feeling at the same time.
Being around Carina terrifies her, but in the best way possible in that the thrill of it all keeps her wanting to come back. Kind of like how those scary mover-lovers feel except instead of disturbing and horrifying little girls with their black hair draping over their face wearing dirty nightgowns while they stare at you in the dark planning to kill you, it's Carina with her smooth and long hair, soft eyes, radiant smile, and raspy little voice that scares Lily shitless and keeps her on the edge of her seat.
"Okay," Carina finally says. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
Lily smiles back and nods only once this time. Thank god. "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow."
Carina gives her a small wave right before she turns around and enters into her classroom and Lily forces herself to walk away, hands still trembling and heart still racing even after the scary part is over.
--
Naomi just about tackled Lily as soon as she saw her and Desi walking down the steps to the school's courtyard where they decided to spend lunch time at after second period. Right now there is sunshine with a few clouds coming their way off in the distance but later after school is when rain will start coming down and will continue for the rest of the week. Might as well enjoy the sun now while they can.
"You little shit," Naomi hisses, holding onto Lily's arm and dragging her along to the picnic table with Desi following closely behind, "you didn't reply to our texts this morning after you left Desi and I hanging about you and Carina."
Lily laughs and gently pats her friend's hand. "I'm sorry! We were talking and I didn't want to come off as rude if I used my phone in front of her face. She doesn't really talk much to begin with so I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible."
All three of them take a seat at the bench with Lily on one side and Desi and Naomi sitting right across. "But she wound up telling me that she really likes her writing partner, aka me, and I almost collapsed and died on the floor," Lily continues. Naomi and Desi let out an excited squeal and eagerly listen to her words. "I know, I know. I felt the exact same way," the green-eyed girl grins. "But anyways, she was just so genuine with what she was saying about me, you know? And little does she know that she's telling me all about me . She's just so sweet and so gentle and so-" Lily can't continue on. She's smiling so hard that she can't even formulate words to express how she's feeling.
Desi wipes an imaginary tear off her cheek before she reaches over to grab Lily's hands. "Listen to me," she says seriously. "She obviously seems to feel okay with you, both in writing and in person so I know you get all flustered and stuff around her and I think it's cute as shit, but don't worry, okay? Because you have nothing to worry about."
"Desi's right," Naomi chimes in. "She seems great and you obviously like her a lot and she seems to like you as well so don't freak out around her so much, dude."
"Do you know how hard it is not to turn into a pile of mush when it comes to her?" Lily chuckles lightly. "Like I said, she's so cute that it makes me want to curl in a ball and scream sometimes. She's so shy around people and she's reserved and so small and tiny and adorable and I feel like I should protect her from the world and-"
"-Oh my god," Desi interrupts with a grin. "I'm going to need you to stop right now before I start to actually tear up."
"You are so sprung, Lily," Naomi says lightheartedly. "I'm so used to you breaking people's hearts and never tying down or settling with anyone or anything because you didn't really see yourself with someone for a long time. Now it's so different, but good different."
Lily has had a history of being, well, not the nicest person when it comes to relationships and things like that. She used to be the one to leave someone the next morning without saying a single thing. Not that it's justification in any way, but she was almost always pretty wasted so it's not like she intended to kiss and then ditch but she didn't feel like it was any better to lead them on. But that was before and this is now. She even feels a little bit ashamed for treating some people like that.
"Yeah," Lily smiles, thinking of those particular brown eyes. "Well Carina is definitely different."
--
The rest of the day with constant badgering and relentless teasing from both of her friends about Lily's little crush, making her blush warmly numerous amounts of times. She loves her friends with all of her heart, but damn do they love to mess with her. It's great that they're so supportive of this entire thing though and they aren't judging her whatsoever. It all sounds a bit cliché once you really think about it and almost as if it actually sounds like something that has come out of a book.
Good thing Lily's always been a sucker for fairytales.
Now Lily is in her car driving out of the parking lot on her way home. That is, until she spots the familiar back of a girl's head that she's been all too accustomed looking at walking along the sidewalk away from school. Carina's walking home? Lily then immediately peeks up at the sky to see nothing but large, heavy and gray clouds peering over them, practically ready to burst any second now.
"What the hell?" she mumbles to herself as she edges closer to the sidewalk and slows down to a stop a few feet in front of Carina and rolls the window down. Carina has earphones in and she was staring down at her feet so she just barely noticed Lily in time.
"Lily?" she asks, confused, as she takes her earphones out of her ears and walks up near her car. "What are you doing?"
"I should ask you the same thing," Lily laughs as she puts her car in park and drapes her wrist over the steering wheel. "What do you think you're doing? It's about to start pouring really soon, Carina."
Her brown eyes divert away from Lily's and she looks up, her face turning into a slight frown. "Oh," she simply says.
Lily wasn't going to let her walk home. She has no idea where Carina lives, but the closest neighborhood is about a 25-minute walk at most and Lily would rather get out of her car and walk her home than let her go by herself.
"Amanda always takes me home but she wasn't feeling well so she left sometime earlier today and I'm not signed up to take the bus because she's usually my ride," Carina explains, fumbling with her white earphones.
Lily bites her lip nervously before she brings herself to say, "Come on. Let me take you home."
"Oh, that's okay. I don't mind walking-"
"-Please," Lily interjects, a hint of urgency in her voice. "It'll make me feel better knowing that you get home safe and dry. Really, I promise you that it's okay. Please."
Carina stares at her for a few moments, clearly contemplating whether or not to take the offer. It's not that she doesn't feel comfortable; she just doesn't want to be a burden. But when Carina feels the first raindrop land on her cheek, that's when she makes her decision. She takes her backpack from off, opens the passenger door of Lily's car and enters in, shutting it close behind her then drops her bag on the floor on top of her feet.
Lily has to take a moment to collect herself but her mind is screaming "Carina Cabero is in my car Carina Cabero is in my car Carina Cabero is in my car" over and over again.
"Thank you," the younger girl says, smiling shyly.
"Of course," Lily replies kindly. "Just tell me where I'm headed."
There wasn't much room to really talk about anything else other than Carina giving Lily directions on the way towards her house, which wound up being a little farther than Lily thought. It's absolutely pouring rain now to the point where Lily has to drive a significant speed below the limit for safety because she could barely see even a foot ahead of her. Now she's so glad she found Carina before she did have to end up walking alone in this incredibly dangerous weather that seemed to have come crashing down out of nowhere. It's only the early afternoon but with the low visibility and gloomy clouds, it would be safe to even assume it's about 7 p.m.
They finally make it in front of Carina's house, which is an average, two-story house with nothing out of the ordinary. It deemed right for a family of only three, just like Lily's. She parks on the street and Lily is expecting her to get out of the car but instead Carina looks out the window, face full of dread. Her knee is frantically bouncing up and down and it suddenly hits Lily.
She's scared of thunderstorms. Astraphobia, to be exact.
Lily remembered one time a while ago when poor thing expressed to Lily in one of her letters one night after a particularly rough thunderstorm that she didn't sleep a wink because she was too busy covering her ears and crying the entire night. It's been that way since she was little and she still hasn't grown out of it. Lily frowns when she hears low rumbling of thunder creeping along the way above the sound of the hard rain pellets hitting the roof of her car forcefully.
Carina turns her head and gives Lily a sad look, which makes Lily frown even more. She looks down at her hands and plays with her sleeve like she's wanting to say something but she's scared to.
"You okay?" Lily asks, reaching over and placing the tip of her index finger on Carina's wrist to get her attention. The small and simple touch still feels like fire against her smooth skin.
Carina gazes up and she opens her mouth but it takes her a second before she actually says something. "This may sound kind of silly but ..."
Lily patiently waits for her to continue.
" ... Do you mind coming inside for a bit with me?" Carina's small voice lets out, just barely audible over the commotion that Mother Nature is causing outside. "Storms like these are one of my biggest fears and I also don't want you to drive back home in this rain either."
Lily's mind is screaming and she feels her damn heart accelerate yet again. Did Carina really just ask her to stay with her because she wants comfort and because she's worried about Lily's safety? Oh my god. Breathe, Lily. And answer the damn girl.
"No, yeah, of course I can stay with you if that's what'll make you feel most comfortable," she says as calmly as possible and pats herself on the back mentally when it comes out smooth and casual. "And I think my parents would appreciate it if I didn't drive in weather either."
Carina's face immediately brightens up once Lily agrees and suddenly the fear and dismay in her eyes vanished. "Thank you!" she exclaims, clasping her hands together and grinning widely. How could Lily say no to that?
The older girl giggles and says, "You're very welcome. Now, let's head inside. I have an umbrella we can use." Lily reaches behind her and grabs the umbrella that should protect Lily and Carina from the rain. If they squeeze together, that is. "Let me head out first, yeah?"
Carina nods and with that, Lily pulls her key out of its ignition and braces herself for the downpour of rain that'll inevitably come down for a few seconds before she's going to be able to open the umbrella up. This feels way too much like she's getting ready to head out into a battlefield.
Lily places a hand on the door handle and pushes open, her face and body immediately getting hit with an onslaught of rain. She quickly opens up the umbrella and the Mother Nature ambushes her with a gush of wind but she holds on to the umbrella. She scurries over to the passenger seat where Carina awaits and she opens the door for her, holding the umbrella directly above her door so she doesn't get wet. However because of that, Lily practically gets getting drenched from head to toe in a matter of seconds. Oh well. She doesn't care.
Carina huddles in against Lily's body to squeeze underneath the umbrella's limited span as best as possible and they make their way up her driveway and to her front door where Carina inserts her key in and pushes the door open, finally getting them inside. Lily skin shivers underneath her damp clothes and the fact that Carina's house feels like it's about 2 degrees below zero doesn't help her whatsoever.
Lily takes her wet shoes off and she lets her umbrella lean against the wall near the door and she hugs herself. It is, in fact, the beginning of November so the weather was beginning to transition to colder ones.
"Sorry, Lily," Carina mumbles sheepishly, as she drops her backpack on the floor and takes hold of the older girl's hand. "Come on, let me get you some dry clothes."
Lily's not so cold anymore as she feels the warmth of Carina's hand radiate up her arm and spreads across her body, particularly in her cheeks. But she doesn't say anything. She just lets Carina guide her up the stairs, eyes never leaving their intertwined hands.
They reach a room at the end of the hall and when they step inside, Lily immediately finds herself smiling at the sanctuary that is Carina's room. Everything that Lily's ever learned from Carina through her letters is perfectly enacted through the way her room is designed and decorated to conform to her interests. There are books and music and records and posters everywhere and Lily takes her time to take in everything she sees, wanting to know more about the fascinating girl.
As Lily's eyes gaze around in wonder, Carina rummages through her closet for a bit before she walks out and in her hands is a sweatshirt and comfortable pajama pants with what appears to be multicolored reindeers on them. Yeah, Carina definitely wins award for most endearing person in the world.
"Here you go," she says with a soft smile as she places the clothes in Lily's hands. "They're some of the most comfortable things that I own but I never promised that they're the most attractive."
Lily smiles as she looks down at the fleece pajama pants which is definitely what she was referring to. The sweatshirt has a large orange paw print on the front with Sheeran on the back of it and the number 97 underneath. Her birth year.
"I love Ed," Lily comments with a grin. "Thank you."
Carina's eyes widens in pleasant surprise and excitement. "Really?"
"Hell yeah! He's great in every way."
Carina smiles. "Huh. I like you," she says with a wink, causing Lily to giggle and nudge her shoulder playfully.
"Well I like you, too." Little does she know.
Carina lets Lily change in her room while she makes her way downstairs to call Amanda to tell her that she made it home okay and to check up on her to see if she's feeling better. Lily takes off her wet clothing and throws over the items that Carina graciously let her wear and immediately the younger girl's scent is overwhelming and Lily feels like she could've melted in the warmth and comfort of her odd and mismatched clothes.
Suddenly a loud clap of thunder shakes the entire house, making Lily jump a good 5 feet in the air, followed by what sounds like glass breaking from down the stairs.
"Carina?" Lily immediately whips around and sprints down the stairs, wondering what the hell that could've been.
She finds Carina in the kitchen to see her sitting on the ground picking up pieces of a broken coffee mug that she must have dropped in response to the unexpected and frightening sound. "Are you okay?" Lily asks as she drops to her knees beside the younger girl, who seems to be shaking a little bit.
Carina looks up with a thin glass of tears blurring her vision and immediately Lily reaches over and pulls Carina tightly against her body without any hesitation. Nerves be damned.
Now with their bodies pressed tightly against each other as they're sitting on the cold kitchen floor, Lily definitely can feel her body trembling which only makes her hold her closer. Carina's arms wrap around Lily's waist and her face hides against Lily's neck, some damp tears transferring from her eyes to Lily's skin.
It's painful for Lily to see her so distraught, to say the least. She herself isn't really a big fan of thunderstorms either but Carina's absolutely terrified. What would've happened if she never found her walking? Would she even be okay right now? The possibilities are endless but they all don't end up very well for Carina in Lily's mind.
Lily soothingly rubs her back with one hand and protectively holds the side of her head with the other. "You're okay," she whispers calmingly in Carina's ear. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."