(I recommend the Spotify playlist for this hehe)
"Let's talk about yesterday's fight." Karasu began. He was either going to compliments or bash us with all the things that needed to be improved. "Senya, you need to make your first move quicker. You hesitated and watched for quite too long."
My eyes gazed over to him, creating slight eye contact before looking back down at my lap. It was best if I said nothing.
But if he pointed my problem, avoidance. His was hesitation.
"Yes, I did. I'll work on that." He nodding, knowing it wasn't the first time he had heard that comment. If my thing was avoidance, then his was definitely hesitation.
"You and I will talk separately." Karasu directed toward me. "Senya take this day to do your own research in my office. We will be back soon."
I stood up from the chair walking to Karasu at the door. He guided me outside where it was approaching the later afternoon.
People made their way home by shoving through crowds, speeding by in their cars while students grouped up after school talking about who knows what. Observation was a skill I picked up on after keeping to myself for so long.
Karasu walked next to me, his hands in the deep pockets of his trenchcoat. "You're a great fighter much like your father, although he put his skills to the worse as you know."
"I'm very aware." I acknowledged quietly. My hands held onto their opposite elbows keeping them close to my body.
"What goes through your mind during a fight against another opponent?" He questioned, looking down at me from his shoulder.
Letting that question stink in, I pondered what my answer could possibly be. I didn't want to dwell too much on what it could be but I didn't want to under answer the question in a way that I couldn't get any feedback with.
"My next move and possibly the outcome of it," I answered after a few seconds. I had the power to accidentally kill something along with the many other people whose quirk had the same risk. Thinking ahead was strugglesome but necessary most of the time.
"What if you guess wrong?" He continued, throwing a possible outcome.
My eyebrows raised slightly, not expecting a question like that. "Then I'm fucked." I laughed not knowing what else to say.
Karasu chuckled himself enjoying the fact that I was openly honest. "I'm not asking you to predict the future. Don't because you never know what possible changes could happen." He advised.
"This doesn't feel like we're talking about just using my powers anymore." I doubted. Who knows, maybe he was trying to give some real advice. Maybe Senya told him about our argument and the habits I had. Either way, I still appreciated it.
"Take it how you'd like." He responded optimistically. "You mentioned before that you haven't used Reality Warping that often?"
"I haven't," I confirmed. We walked past a park, taking a turn directly into it. They made slightly uncomfortable yet it was bare-able.
"Why's that? Is that because you don't understand its full capabilities?" He hypothesized, attempting to figure out the reason.
As we sat down on a picnic bench, I nodded. "Yeah, honestly. I know I can change objects into anything I'd like except living beings. But that's about it."
It was such a broad idea. There was much to it that I had little to zero grasp of.
"Did you know that it could be used on vast areas?" He quizzed, eyebrows scrunching in the center of his face.
"You mean like, an entire environment?" I thought. He nodded answering my questions. "I think I read something about that but I'm honestly not too sure."
"Using that power, you are able to move yourself, and another person if you build up that power, to an entirely new area. That could be the ocean, your house, the States, anywhere. Of course, that would mean using a large amount of power that you have not obtained." He explained going into a deep detail.
"I knew there were casters able to do that but it's just insane. Moving someone to an ocean?" I spat out in total amazement.
"It's possible." He nodded his head slowly agreeing with my shocked expression.
"How do you build up your abilities to have the capacity to do that? Pushing myself already leaves me almost empty." I was curious. Having an amount of power that greatly seemed so out of reach and plain insane.
"Through constant practice. Not overworking like I feel you and your brother may do but simple practices like moving objects across a room or yourself if you're able to achieve that right now." He shared, giving tips of what he had done himself.
"I guess I have new things to work on." I huffed, slouching down on the table. I looked around for a moment at the kids running up the jungle gym, sliding down the slides with smiles.
All I could think about was that day.
"You can also use it on people."
I jerked my head toward him quickly. "On people?"
"Yes but it's very dangerous if you use when you're unstable." He warned, his voice becoming more stern. "When Casters were first being exposed, powerful casters, like yourself, would help with erasing the memory of normal people finding out."
"Would they erase that singular memory or their entire memory of events with the caster?" I interrogated, digging deeper into the idea. Something about it struck interest so deeply in me.
"Just of the memory of them finding out. But if you use it when your emotions are unstable you could accidentally erase more than wanted." He informed. For some reason, I felt his words were based off of experience. It wasn't in my business to ask so I didn't.
"Are you able to see a person's memories while doing it?" I asked, propping my chin on my palm. "Wait- can I see them in general?"
"I don't possess the ability so I'm not sure." He shrugged. My eyes lit up along with the smile that drew itself on my face.
"Lemme try." I insisted, wiggling my eyebrows with too much joy. I think he knew himself that there was no way out of this.
"Okay, but be careful." He sighed, sitting up more straight.
I stood up excitedly and shimmied out of the bench seat, almost getting my costume stuck against its rough texture. I mom-walked over to him and place my hands on his head.
"Focus. Allow yourself to blur out your surroundings and focus only on the task at hand." He instructed carefully.
I shut my eyes seeing only darkness (no shit). Spots of light flashes in out from the moment that stood in front of me. The sounds of laughs and muffled talking soon filed out into a single buzz of nothingness.
His memories flowed around like bubbles in the wind. Figments of his childhood up to our current situation showed clear in my mind.
It astonished me how vivid and real they had come to me as if they were my own.
"You got coffee this morning and didn't bring us any?" I jeered, removing my hands from his head and glaring at him.
"Tomorrow." He promised, standing up. "Want to try warping us back to the office?"
"Okay, but it's not my fault if we leave a limb behind or something." I grabbed his arm and closed my eyes, sending us back roughly and inelegantly.
---
Karasu let us go after talking to us for an hour after I brought him and I back.
I took a shower putting on some random jeans and a hoodie. Making sure I grabbed my phone I stuffed it in my pocket along with my wallet and keys.
"Where are you going?" Senya asked from where he laid in his bed. He and I were talking normally again almost as if our argument had never occurred.
"Ren's. I should be back in two hours or so. Maybe shorter depending how things go." I rolled my eyes to myself already knowing it wasn't going to go well.
"You're finally going to break up with him?" Senya wondering, surprisingly shocked.
"I'm going to suspect him of cheating which will eventually lead to an argument that breaks us up." I ran down the typical relationship break us. "So yeah." I shrugged.
"I could give you a ride if you want." He offered, getting off the bed.
"You can go just take me over there? You can come back after and I'll take the train or something." I suggested, waiting as he grabbed a sweater.
"Just let me know. Down with whatever." He shrugged, stuffing his car keys into his pajama pants.
"Okay. Let's go?" I gestured, heading toward the door.
"Yeah, I'm coming."
---
"Call me if anything happens?" Senya made me swear before leaving the car.
"Yeah, for sure." I smiled, nodding in confirmation. "Okay, wish me luck. Love you." I got out of the car, shutting the door.
"Love you too." He waved, before driving off and leaving me alone in front of Ren's place.
I could my breath become thinner and my stomach drop to my toes. It almost physically hurt to breathe from how nervous I was becoming yet I pushed myself to move forward.
Tapping my foot on the ground, I pulled out my keys that had his house spare on it. My fingers fiddled with them, shoving them softly into the keyhole so he wouldn't hear me.
I just had a bad feeling about this already.
Once opening the door, I quietly took off my shoes and left my keys in my shoes.
'It's fine. Everything is fine. You're fine calm your ass down' I tried to remind myself. Overthinking would only lead to negative outcomes.
I hid behind the kitchen wall that stood between the two rooms before immediately recognizing the voices and giggles.
"Hey, why wasn't I invited?" I sassed, walking out from behind the wall.
It was exactly as I thought it would be. She was curled up against him with his arm around her shoulders.
There was no other was to interpret it.
They pushed each other off of one another separating quickly. It was too late to try to pretend.
The damaged had been done.
"Emi, leave now," I demanded, avoiding eye contact with her. To even think I called her a friend for a second.
Walking over to where she previously sat, I took the spot. Looking down at my lap, I gave myself a few moments to breath and compose.
My heart felt like it was sputtering out of control and my hands insisted on moving like I was freezing despite the overheating that was happening.
"Well, tell me. What's your excuse?" I sighed, inserting my fingers into the folds of my jeans to distract myself.
"It's not what you think." He insisted, attempting to hold his own.
"Really?" I challenged. I leaned forward and wiping the shiny substance off his lip that I caught shining in the light. "Then what's this? I don't know if you remember since you know, you have to remember info for two girlfriends, but I hate lipgloss."
"Stop acting like your innocent here." He mocked, pushing my hand away.
"Acting? You're the only one here who's trying to avoid your mistake." I pointed out.
"What the fuck was that picture you sent me? You and that blonde brat in the same room. I bet you were all over him." He scoffed, trying to make a story of the photo.
"You're the brat here. And honestly, what if I was all over him? Hmm? What are you going to do about it? Cheat on me?" I mocked, raising my eyebrows.
"Real mature." He laughed, scornful.
"Unlike you, since you're acting like such a child!" I yelled becoming more frustrated. "Just admit you're cheating on me."
I didn't recognize the guy who was sitting in front of me. This wasn't the same guy who I fell for when we first started dating.
It tore me.
"Why do I need to tell you if you already know?" He wondered, giving me an answer without fully coming forth with the truth.
"Because I want to hear it coming from your mouth. Not mine." I argued, digging my fingernails into my palms. They stung the tighter I squeezed them.
He leaned forward silently looking soul deep into my eyes. "I'm cheating on you."
And that's where it hit me.
The full realization and reality of it all, tumbling down on me like an avalanche that became too heavy to hold up its own weight.
A pin needle stings danced across my bottom lash line making my version blur with the liquid that I was not going to stop from falling out.
I turned my head, no longer able to look him in the eyes the same way I had before.
"I can't believe you..." I whispered to myself. "You should have just broken up with me when you lost feelings for me." I sighed, biting my lip as the salt flavor leaked into my mouth.
"But I haven't lost my feelings for you." He admitted quietly.
"No." I scoffed, turning back to face him. "That's just you feeling guilty. Feeling bad for yourself." This was the first time he had ever seen me cry. I hated crying and never wanted anyone to ever see me do it.
It stung, gave me a headache, and made me look weak.
But this one time, I was okay with it.
I told him things I had never said out loud. Expressed my deepest and darkest thoughts that ate me up. He knew things no one but my brother had known.
It's so easy to be naive when you believe someone loves you.
"I know this is not okay but I can fix it." He tried to convince me, taking my hand that sat on my lap. "Please, I promise."
"Did you get what you wanted?" I wondered, our teary eyes and crack-hearted pain looking into each other, grasping for that last thread of hope. "Did she make you laugh the way you wanted? Give you the smile that felt like you hadn't done it ever in your life? When you kissed her, was it like a movie?"
Betrayal was a deep wound that could take out any open hearted person out in seconds.
"I stood loyal to you and you just needed someone to be at your feet so bad that you cheated." I said what my mind had been repeating to itself over and over.
"It's not that--"
"Then what is it!" I shouted. "This is the second time and you expect me just to fall in love all over again and forgive you? I may not love myself that much but I'm not going to let you step on me like I was a bug on the floor because this is all you." I shoved my finger into his chest. "You fucked up this time and last and I'm not going to be here for it."
"Y/N, calm down..." He trailed off seeing me break in front of his eyes.
"I always tried to make excuses for you every time but why am I trying to be perfect for someone who isn't even putting a single amount of effort into me." I cried cursing at myself. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
Silence. Nothing but thin quiet white noise.
Stupid.
Letting myself believe that he could change was stupid. Staying for longer than I should just to go through the same cycle.
"I'm sorry." A single tear fell down his eyes and it didn't compare to the amount that flowed out of my own.
I pulled the silver chain off my wrist, and set it down on the couch. My eyes grazed it for the last time.
The meaning that bracelet held was gone.
"I don't want an apology. I just wanted real love from someone. I thought you of all people would have understood that."
Forcing myself up, I walked out of the room leaving him there for what would be our last conversation.
I broke the promise to myself to never let myself be hurt by a guy I loved. Yet I let it happened.
I took the train back to the hotel.
I didn't want to hear the speech from my brother. The one where he would tell me boys were going to break my heart. I wasn't going to listen.
I walked through the hotel hall, blankly looking at the walls as I did.
No real thoughts could come to mind. I pushed them back to stop myself from crying anymore.
I stopped in front of my room, reaching for the knob until I stopped. My head turned to the door a few feet away.
It was 12:34 am. But I knew he had to be awake.
Shifting over, my sweater covered hand bounced on the surface of the cold wood. It only took him a few seconds to open the door.
"What the hell do you want now?" He noticed the hoodie over my head and the mascara smeared under my eyes. "Have you been crying?"
"Your hair looks stupid." I commented, walking past him and into his room. It was in some sort of dorm boy style. He shut the door, this time without argument.
"What happened? Why do you look like you walked through a damn storm?" He questioned standing in front of where I sat on the edge of his bed.
"I did it. I broke up with him."
His face raised, surprised with how quickly events had changed within the few hours I hadn't spoke to him.
"I don't know what I expect since I knew he was cheating on me but I guess I'm not as strong as I think I am." I laughed, making fun of myself.
"You're no where near emotionally strong that's for sure." He agreed walking over to the dresser in the room.
"I just feel so stupid you know? I bet you feel like that all the time though." I sighed, falling back on the bed.
"Tch, being talkative for someone who got their heartbroken." He mumbled walking back to me. He threw a pair of shorts at me and a random shirt.
I pulled them off my face and sat back up. "What's this?"
"Sleep in the bed. I'll take the couch. Your brother will question the living hell of out you if you go back now." He predicted, taking one of the blankets and pillows to the couch.
"Thanks." I sniffled, rubbing my nose with my sleeve.
"Gross, go do that shit in the bathroom." He grimaced making an ugly face at me.
I sighed and went over closing the door behind me. Changing quickly, I splashed cold water on my throbbing eyes.
My face had been stain red from the strain I had been putting on it. It was to be expected though.
Leaving my hair as it was, which was pretty messy, I walked out and put my clothes onto of them dresser.
His clothes fit me like a dress. Smelled like him too.
Caramel. Cologne. Two scent you never would think could work together but did.
"I didn't think you could look any worse." He mumbled from where he laid.
"You're so good at making me feel better." I huffed, getting into the bed.
"Hey, mopping about it won't get you no where. Be glad I'm not treating you like some kid." He mocked.
He was right.
Mopping wasn't going to get me anywhere.
"Okay, fine. Goodnight."
"Night."
I shut my eyes, laying there for a few minutes until it was completely silent.
I reflect on the day trying to point of the highlights. But Bakugou shuffling brought my attention back.
"Are you awake?" I wondered, talking up to the ceiling.
"What." He groaned obviously annoyed.
"I wanted to tell you something..." He stood quiet signaling for me to continue. "Don't take this weirdly but I swear, I see you in my dreams."
Bakugou's eyes shook open. His heart fell into his stomach repeating her words.
There was no doubt that she had just said that.
It was impossible for her to lie about it.
Trying his best to hold him secrets wasn't his thing for being too aggressively honest with people.
He wanted to break all his promises right at that moment but didn't. But he wasn't going to lie to her either. Because that meant there was hope.
"I see you in mine too."
New Message
Katsuki
Sen. She knows. She's remembering.
Read 3:27 am
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AN:
PLEASE don't be scared to bash me. Like tell me where I can improve because I want to improve for you all!
Okay okay I'm done now, here's a meme to make of Y/N in this chapter lmao: