Chapter 18
"Thank you," I said to Maribella that evening, as she hugged me. She was heading out. "Today was just what I needed."
"Of course," she said quickly. "You sure you don't want to come out tonight? Meet my friends from school?"
She had invited me to the party she was going to that night, at a friend's house. It was in an area I didn't know. I had declined. Polly had also texted about a party that night that she and Josie were going to, but I ignored that, too.
"Thanks, but not tonight," I shook my head.
Maribella gave me one more smile before leaving, closing the door behind her. I felt defeated. I was upset that Bennett wanted to "cool it", which was crazy considering how much I'd tried to avoid it in the first place. I was also mad at myself for hurting him.
It was almost 8 P.M. and I was alone, eating more snacks and watching a Rom Com on a Saturday night. I knew it could have been worse, but still, I was wallowing in self pity.
I was laying in bed, early, awhile later, when my phone rang. I saw that it was my dad. It had been awhile since our last awkward chat.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Iris. Is it a good time?" he asked, sounding hopeful.
I mean, it was not even 10 P.M. on a Saturday. I could have been at a party, or anywhere. But I wasn't.
"Yeah, it's fine," I said. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to talk. And apologize."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry for even mentioning it. I get it, you're not ready to talk about -"
"I might never be ready, Dad. I do not want to talk about it," I interrupted.
"I understand that now. I miss you, sweetie. The house feels so empty," he went on.
"You should start dating," I told him, seriously.
He laughed. "I've dated. But nothing serious."
"Good. I want you to be happy, Dad." I meant it.
"I am fine, honey. Are you happy there? How's school?" he wanted to know.
"I'm good. I have friends, Caleb is really great..." Was I convincing enough?
"Good." He paused. "Have you looked into colleges?"
"Yeah. I talked with my guidance councillor last week. He thinks I should be able to get into NYU if this year goes well. And it will, I promise."
"Wow. New York." He was surprised by this.
"Did you know that Caleb went to Julliard?" I asked my dad.
"Oh yes. I guess I'd forgotten."
"He says New York is amazing," I said, smiling now.
"I'm sure it is. Thanks for talking. I'll call again soon, okay?" he finished, suddenly.
"Okay, Dad," I answered.
I woke up to three missed calls the next day. One from Josie, two from Polly. And a few SOS texts. I wanted to throw my phone out the window.
SORRY, MY PHONE WAS DEAD, I sent to Josie, hoping she would believe me.
CALL ME RIGHT NOW, she sent back.
I really didn't want to, but I called her anyway. Might as well get this over with.
"Tell me it's not true," she answered, without saying hello.
"What?" I asked back.
"Polly is really upset and I'm just so disappointed in you," she said, not answering the question.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, even though I knew.
"Kelly and Alex were at the party last night. She told everyone that you are dating her brother." There it was. Everyone.
"Not true," I said, trying to stay calm.
"Really? She said she saw you two together."
"We live in the same building. We were going into the elevator. Seriously, Josie, relax."
"So, you're not dating him?" she asked again.
I hesitated. "We've hung out a few times. But we are not dating."
She sighed loudly. "Bennett Drake is not who you want to be hanging out with, Iris. It's not just because he's Kelly's brother."
"What do you mean?" I asked, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to know.
"I don't know how you haven't heard this... he was in serious trouble in tenth grade and the summer before eleventh." Her voice was quiet, like she might get caught saying this to me.
"So was I," I said, then laughed.
"Were you arrested at school? Put on academic probation? Did you spend a summer in rehab?"
I swallowed hard. I had not been expecting that. "No."
"Well, he did. I'm just looking out for you, Iris," Josie finished, then waiting for my reply.
"Thanks, I'm fine," I told her. "See you at school."
I took a shower. I studied for a math test that I had the next day. I did History homework. I tried to stop thinking about what Josie had told me, but I couldn't. Why hadn't he told me any of that?
When Caleb came in with Chinese food for dinner, I was so happy to see him. He'd been working all day and I needed some company. We sat down at the table to eat, but I was gearing up for a conversation that he didn't see coming.
"What were you like in high school?" I asked, swirling some noodles on my fork.
"Uh. I was a dork. I played guitar took piano lessons and singing lessons, wrote poetry and song lyrics instead of doing my homework," he answered, smiling at me. "Why?"
"Were you ever in any trouble?" I wanted to know, pouring some sweet and sour chicken onto my plate.
"Not really. My father - Grandpa - was strict and we were punished for inappropriate behavior. I didn't even really have a girlfriend until senior year."
"Kya?" I spat out, suddenly remembering the girlfriend that he brought to family dinners for awhile.
He nodded. "Kya Willis. She was so great."
"What happened with her?" I wanted to know.
"Oh, I don't know. We grew apart, she went to Yale." I watched as he ate some of his dinner, then sipped his water.
"So, you didn't do drugs or anything?" I asked, and his eyes went wide.
"Where is this coming from?" He let out a laugh.
"I found out something about Bennett today. I don't know what to do," I answered. "I mean, I'm far from perfect. I got in plenty of trouble in Harriston in tenth grade. But this is..."
Caleb waited a minute before talking again. "Have you talked to him?"
"No. We're actually... not talking right now."
"Since when?" I saw him smile, but I didn't say anything. "Maybe let it settle for a bit, then try to talk to him?" Caleb suggested.
I nodded, finally. "Yeah, maybe I will."
I saw him hesitate again before asking the next question. He ate some bites of food. "You got in trouble in Harriston?"
I let out an awkward laugh. "So much trouble. That's why my mom shipping me off to California."
"What did you do?" He was so curious.
"Oh, hung out with the bad kids. Did drugs, stayed out all night, skipped school, almost failed my classes."
"When you were fifteen?" He looked surprised by this.
"It was all to hurt my mom. It worked," I shrugged.
"I thought you went to California because you were upset she was pregnant?"
I shook my head. "She didn't tell me that until I'd already moved."
I knew Caleb didn't know this, and he made it obvious by the look on his face. We stopped talking about it then, though. I smiled at him, amazing by how he became more and more what I needed every day. He was like the friend I'd always wanted but also the parent that I'd never had. And I felt so grateful for him.