Lucas had seen a spark of emotion in Kaitlyn’s eyes. He knew he had.
He couldn’t get the image out of his mind. She’d genuinely seemed upset to leave the compound. The emotion was so fleeting that for a moment he thought he’d imagined it, but it was there. He knew what he’d seen.
The lab felt colder and more silent since she’d left. Lucas sank back into his chair, his mind going over the encounter from beginning to end.
Could she possibly still have feelings after all they had done to her? It was hard for him to believe. They had overridden the signals in Kaitlyn’s brain that caused any kind of human emotion. She was supposed to look human, but not possess human traits. That was the beauty of the project—or the tragedy, depending on how you looked at it.
Agitated, he ran his hand through his hair. This was like his worst nightmare coming true. His justification for going along with the idea was that she wouldn’t understand what they had done; she wouldn’t care. When she awoke from the coma, she was supposed to have no memories of being human. In essence, they’d saved her life. She would have died from her injuries.
At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.
He needed to find out the truth before they sold her off to the government. If she was harboring any kind of human thoughts or emotions, not only would she pose a threat to government security if her own moral compass affected her decision-making, but it would fall back on IFICS.
Before he could change his mind, Lucas tossed off his lab coat and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, jerking it on as he exited the room.
He made his way across the courtyard toward the dormitory Kaitlyn shared with the grounds-people, cooks, and other workers that lived on the compound.
He hesitated as he turned down her hallway. In all of the time he had known Kaitlyn, he had never entered her bedroom. There had never been a reason to. But now …
Maybe he should just turn around. It was none of his business. He was paid to make sure she was prepared for the assignment, not to check on her emotional state of mind. Not that she had an emotional state of mind. However, it kind of seemed … The keys jingled in his hands. Screw it, he had to know.
In a few long strides, he was in front of her door. He tapped the keys lightly against the metal, thinking to himself how it was more similar to a jail cell than a bedroom.
“Yes.” Kaitlyn’s sweet voice floated out the door.
“Umm, it’s Lucas. Is it okay if I come in for a moment?”
“Yes, you can come in.”
His hands shook as he turned the key and pushed the door open.
Kaitlyn lay on her bed with her long, bare legs crossed, her eyes wide and serene. The sight of her smooth, silky skin distracted him, and Lucas had to will his eyes away from her legs and to her face. He no longer noticed the teal parts of her body with the code scrolling. When he looked at Kaitlyn he saw a young woman, not a machine. He felt lightheaded and almost forgot why he was there.
To divert his attention, Lucas glanced around the room. It was small, not much bigger than a closet, and everything was white. Even the curtains. Other than a little television, she didn’t have anything else. She was only allowed to watch movies they deemed acceptable. Mostly spy flicks. It was mainly for her to watch humans interact outside of the locked down environment she lived in. The thought was she could pick up on mannerism and dialogue. Did she really spend all of her time sitting in her room? She needed books or magazines, too. He should address the issue with the professor. Not that it really mattered at this point. Soon she would be gone.
Kaitlyn stared blankly at him. “Can I help you?”
“Look,” Lucas said, his stomach suddenly aflutter with nerves, “I’m just going to come out and say it. Can you feel things?”
She tilted her head as if trying to process the question. “Such as pain? No, I cannot.”
“Not pain. Emotions. Feelings.”
Kaitlyn’s eyes darted to the ceiling. The red light of the camera blinked. “I don’t know what you mean. You have to be more specific.”
What in the world was he thinking barging into her bedroom like this? She had no clue what he was even saying.
I’m such an idiot.
Lucas sighed. “Forget it. I’m sorry, Kaitlyn. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
As he turned to leave, her voice stopped him. “Lucas, I would like some fresh air. Professor Adams says it is good for me.”
The request startled him. He turned back around, meeting her blank gaze, and scratched his head. “I guess I can take you outside.”
“I would like to be taken outside. The fresh air is good for me.” She untangled her legs and rose to her feet. Lucas watched, mesmerized, as she slid her slender feet into a pair of brown leather flats.
He held open the door, and she brushed past him. When her skin hit his, it nearly dropped him to his knees. A jolt of electricity surged through him with only the barest of touches, and he knew it wasn’t because she was half electronic. A girl had never had this effect on him—and he had known a few. He could never seem to relate to them.
Lucas took a deep breath and steadied himself, asking himself again what he had been thinking coming here, it was bad enough he had to see her for hours in a clinical environment. Seeing her outside of work felt more intimate, and it scared the hell out of him.
“I will show you where I walk with Quess.”
“You walk with Professor Adams’s granddaughter?”
“Yes.”
How did he not know that? He should be talking to Quess instead of Kaitlyn. That would definitely be easier. Lucas shoved his hands deep in his pockets to stop from fidgeting as they walked the empty halls and out toward the courtyard.
It was a cool day. They didn’t pass anyone on the narrow sidewalk that led away from the dormitory toward the woods. “Did you know that dogwood trees used to be called dog-tree?” Kaitlyn said, breaking the awkward silence.
Lucas cracked a smile. “No, I wasn’t aware of that fact.”
“The name switched over in 1614.”
“That’s interesting.” He slid a sideways glance to her. “Do you like dogwood trees?”
Kaitlyn looked at him blankly. “It’s a tree.”
Disappointed, his shoulders slumped an inch.
“Do you like trees?”
Lucas blinked at her in surprise. “They are needed for clean air, so yes, I like trees.”
She didn’t ask anything more. They continued walking, Lucas so aware of her presence beside him that he couldn’t think of anything else.
When they came to a large birch tree, Kaitlyn reached out and pressed her hand to the peeling bark. “This is my favorite.”
Lucas stared up at the massive tree. She wasn’t built to have preferences for something like that. He kept a straight face, trying to squash the hope that built within him. Maybe he hadn’t imagined it. Maybe he really had seen emotion in her back at the lab.
“Why did you come to my room, Lucas?”
“I-I don’t know. It was foolish. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“It’s not a bother. I like to get out of the room.”
That word again. Was she trying to tell him something?
“You do?”
Kaitlyn nodded once, a horribly robotic gesture, and kept walking. He hurried to catch up.
Lucas tried another tactic. “Kaitlyn, if I told you that you didn’t have to leave, would that make you happy?”
She tried to hide it, but he saw it: a flash of hope in her wide grey eyes. “Can you do that?”
“It depends. Do you want to stay here?” He didn’t have the authority to make such an offer, but he wanted to see her reaction. Maybe he could plead his case to Harrington.
Yeah, right.
She glanced down at the ground, and then back at Lucas. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t like it here, but I feel safe.”
His heart rate accelerated. Holy shit. This was huge. Lucas wanted to run back and tell Professor Adams, but something in her face told him not to. How could he have missed the signs that she still had feelings and emotions, hopes and fears?
Lucas thought of the ramifications. Maybe he should keep this to himself. Professor Adams would want to remove any emotions, any humanity that Kaitlyn had left. He found himself wondering what her laugh sounded like. What a strange thing to think of at a time like this.
Kaitlyn’s clear voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Do you know where they plan on sending me?”
“No. I just know it will be for a government contract.”
“Will I see you again?”
Taking a deep breath, Lucas’s shoulders slumped. “I hope so. Since we created you and all, I think they’ll need us to stay involved.” He really didn’t believe that to be true, but he wished it were. The thought of never seeing her again …
“I’m going to miss you.” He stiffened, surprised. Had he said that out loud?
“You are?” Kaitlyn asked, staring at him curiously. “As in feeling of loss?”
He laughed. He knew her brain analyzed words and phrases at lightning speed. “Yes, that is exactly what I meant. We’ve spent a lot of time together.”
“Can you really help me to stay here?”
“I can try.”