'the fire can't touch me,
for i have burned one too many times
& the sea can't harm me,
for i've been drowning my whole life.
oh but you could rip my heart open,
darling,
for I have never known love before.'
-R. /asthreria
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Adeline awoke to a dark room; her eyes stinging with fatigue as she adjusted to the lack of light encasing the Hospital Wing. Lifting her head from her pillow smelling of fresh linen, she gently pushed her arms against the bed's mattress to sit herself up, feet tangled in the crisp, warm sheets as she twisted to face an arched window to her left, the stars blinking back at her fondly. Turning around slowly, Adeline eyed the other hospital beds cloaked in shadows, though no other body lay beneath their sheets, and Madame Pomphrey's lamp had been extinguished. She was alone.
Lying back down with a soft thud, Adeline brought her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes with a loud sigh as she recalled the words she'd spat to the boy of whom she cared the most for. It had been a long time since they'd had an argument—the first being over a year ago in their transition from fourth year to fifth—and even if that had ultimately brought them closer, with Harry's acceptance of her family origins and the sheer amount of apologies he'd given her, whether it be by a note in History class when he was bored and lost in his past wrongs in the warm, dazed classroom, or by uttering it to her one night by the common room fire as her head lay on his shoulder and her eyelids were restfully closed a year after it had occurred, this time it felt as though they were being pulled away from one another, and she was scared that one day, if she reached out for him, his own hand would be too far away for her to grasp.
"Hey," A voice brought her from her thoughts with a flinch; hands flying from her face, she turned to where the word had come from, though couldn't make a figure out in the dark; squinting her eyes. Seeing her struggle, he whispered Lumos, and the light from the tip of his wand illuminated both of their faces. He sat on one of the visitor's chairs beside her bed; turned around so his front faced the back of the chair, arms leaning across the top of the chair's back.
"Draco?" She whispered. "Why are you here?"
"I've come to break you out," The blond shrugged light-heartedly; she looked at him, brow furrowed. Standing up, he pulled the chair to the side and tossed her a pile of soft, grey fabric, landing on her hands. Lifting it, she eyed the hoodie before slipping it on over her pyjamas of a black singlet and dark red, plaid sweatpants; it swam on her, though she paid no mind to this as she pulled her hair out from the hoodie and swung her legs over the side of the bed, slipping her sock-covered feet into her pre-laced boots on the floor. Standing up, she wobbled; Draco instinctively reached for her, grabbing her elbow; steadying her.
"Is this yours?" Addie asked, grabbing at the hoodie. He shook his head.
"Potter's, maybe. It was on the chair when I came in."
Nodding, she curled her arm around his as he quietly led her to the Hospital Wing doors and pushed one open slightly, leaning his head out to check for anyone, before opening them further ajar; enough for them to squeeze through without the door squeaking as he closed it once more, extinguishing his wand. Keeping up with his long strides, Addie took quick steps, bringing a hand to her mouth as she yawned; her hair, small ringlets at the ends, was knotted and poorly parted. Running another hand through it as they walked through the abandoned, shadowy halls, she looked up to him as the moon peeked in through the castle windows.
"What're we doing?"
He shrugged, glancing to her before looking ahead of himself once more.
"I noticed you've been cooped up in the Hospital Wing for ages ...thought it was about time you had a bit of freedom, y'know?"
"Yeah..." She said, looking down to her feet.
They reached a dead end, though Draco continued to one of the many old windows lining the walls, opened despite the freezing weather.
"Adeline," He started as he rested his arms on its bottom frame, Addie copying his actions as a cold breeze hit their faces. They looked over the grounds. "Why have you been in the Hospital Wing a lot? I can't stand five minutes in that place."
"Oh, I..." Adeline hesitated, recalling Harry's words. "Uh..."
"You don't have to say—" He said, looking over to her. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"It's okay," She said, eyes trained to the Black Lake sparkling under the moonlight, unable to take her mind away from the fact Harry had failed to let her know that she wasn't experiencing some spontaneous sickness but that death loomed on her path only months away. After a moment of silence, Addie spoke as her eyes began to tear up. "Draco?"
"Yes?"
"...What do you do when someone..."
Looking over to her, she continued eyeing the grounds despite feeling his gaze on the trickles of water running down her freckled cheeks.
"When someone...?" He softened his voice.
"When someone lies to you—like a big lie," Adeline spoke, wiping at her face. "And you don't know what else they might've lied about...What are you supposed to do?"
"...It depends, I guess," Draco began, taking a breath of cold air "Like, it's a matter of if you want to forgive them versus if what they did is even forgivable."
She nodded, understanding despite his wordiness, refusing to meet his eyes, fidgeting with the sleeves of the hoodie; its fabric sitting well over her hands.
"What did Potter do?"
"Harry," She corrected him.
"Potter."
Addie laughed reluctantly at his stubbornness, a small smile reaching his lips—but her grin faded.
"I..." She began, though after a moment, shook her head, looking down to her shoes.
"Well, is what he did so awful that it outweighs any of the good he's brought to you? Could you...I don't know, see yourself remain unforgiving of him forever?" He asked, eyes trained to the hair falling over her face. She looked up once more to the grounds below, tucking the strands behind her ear.
"I don't know, really, but...not forever. I think we're too young to know about forever."
"I understand," Draco spoke and hesitated in the following silence, though continued. "Forever's too good to be true, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno," He glanced from her to the grounds, shrugging. "Everything changes all the time—people change all the time. It's hard to believe anything, or anyone, can be eternal when nothing is ever consistent; the war...people's lives...just everything," Draco looked down; eyeing his shoes the way she had before. He cleared his throat. Addie took notice of his tired eyes as he wiped his hands on his Slytherin robes.
"Do you...uh—want one of these?" Addie spoke, and in failing to recall the right word, held her arms out in a circular fashion, as if wrapping them around an invisible being. He looked over.
"You mean a hug?"
"Yeah, that."
He glanced behind her, eyeing the deserted hall, before averting his eyes back to Adeline. He nodded slightly; she took a few small steps towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on his shoulder on her tiptoes. He leaned down, giving in, and wrapped his own around her back, burying his face in her shoulder. Her tight embrace was comforting—laced with a mutual understanding of the other despite the unspoken words.
He'd never been held like that before.
><><
"Which do you think is wiser," Adeline asked sincerely, the two walking absentmindedly around the castle in light conversation, enjoying the other's company. "The trees or the moon?"
He chuckled at the question.
"Uh..." Draco thought about it for a moment. "The moon."
"Why?"
"Because it observes everything from a distance—it sees everything, even though it can't do anything...what about you?"
"The trees," She said. "They have to withstand everything. I think they'd be wise through experience, whereas the moon would become wise through observation."
Draco nodded, and although the words she spoke made little sense to some, he understood and was about to speak once more when they heard someone crying. Slowing their steps, the two came to a stop as Hermione's voice arose from around the corner.
"How does it feel, Harry?" She spoke, sniffing; her wobbling voice echoing through the hall. "When you're with Addie, knowing she's dying? That you—that you can't help her?"
Draco's eyes widened, looking to Addie who didn't react; her back to the Malfoy, head against the cold wall as she listened to her friends; arms wrapped around herself.
"It feels like this."
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a/n;
hiiiii
there's maybe five or more chapters left of this book omg, and then we're on to ruinations aaaaahhhhh
also i kinda love softie draco y'all.
let me know what you think of the chapter!!
thank you all so much for your kind words! you're all so sweet omg and i love the support you all have for this series <33
also, merry christmas to all those who celebrate it! :))