i cried writing this chapter and the last one, i really did. i hope you guys feel for it as much as i did.
p.s i'm sorry it's so sad but bear with me, just trust me.
I N B E T W E E N
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Draco's POV
*Meanwhile Inside Draco's head*
I suddenly opened my eyes, and I was sitting on a bench in front of the Hogwarts Express, except there was no one, and everything was perfectly clean and polished. Where the bloody hell am I?
"The in between" I jumped back at the voice.
Not just any voice. Dumbledore's voice.
Oh God. God I'm so sorry. I get it, this is punishment, but you knew I wouldn't do it, you know I wouldn't have killed him. Why did you have to punish me like this? Please stop. Wake up Draco! Wake the hell up! I tugged harshly on my hair to try and wake myself up but felt nothing.
"Draco, I assure you you're not being punished." Dumbledore's voice sounded closer and I turned to see Dumbledore standing there, with his robe same as always and in a stiff posture.
"How can you hear my thoughts?" I asked him, taking a careful step back.
"Because we're in your head Draco." So this isn't real?
"So I'm dreaming? No, wait, not dreaming because this is a bloody nightmare!" I tugged at my hair and was confused when I felt no pain. "What's going on? Why am I here? How are you here?"
"You're not having a nightmare Draco." Dumbledore reassured me.
"But you just said we're inside my head." I was confused by his confession.
"Just because something's happening inside your head, doesn't mean it's not real." I scoffed. Okay Aristotle.
"What?"
"Do you need it in simpler terms Malfoy?" I jumped back when I heard another voice, one in a more mocking tone. Bloody Diggory.
"What the hell is he doing here?" I turned to Dumbledore and spoke in an accusatory tone.
"We're in your head. Everyone that has died that has had an impact on your life, will be here." He explained.
"What? So who else...?" I turned around, waiting to see who else has been considered to have impacted my life.
"Hello Master." I smiled as Dobby walked up to us shyly.
"Dobby, you know I fucking hate that. You mustn't call me that." I said as I kneeled down and hugged his small, thin body as gently as I could.
"I'm sorry, I mean Mr. Draco." Dobby smiled softly.
"I can't believe it. What happened to you? You're here. But you were..." Tears welled up in my eyes as the realization hit me. He died. "I really miss you Dobby." I said the only thing I could think to say to him.
"Malfoy? Missing someone besides Mal? Never thought I'd live to see the day." Diggory scoffed as he leaned against a stone wall. An imaginary wall, right, because none of this is real. Right? Wait... ugh this is so fucking confusing. I need Kat here, she has to explain this shit to me, my girl's bloody brilliant.
"Technically, you didn't live." I countered.
"Draco..." Dumbledore warned me but Diggory chuckled lightly and I fought to not smile.
"He found it funny. " I defended myself.
"Yeah, funny how you haven't changed." Diggory retorted back.
"That's not true." My defensiveness perked up and I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I know it's not. I've been watching." Diggory reassured me.
"What exactly have you been watching?" I leaned forward, intrigued by what he's been watching.
"Over Mal, and therefore, over you as well, unfortunately." Diggory teased and I rolled my eyes.
"Why are you watching over my girlfriend? I can watch over her just fine." I grew increasingly protective. What else have they seen?
"Is that why she has a death eater mark on her forearm?" Diggory asked in an accusatory tone.
"Don't even--" I clenched my fists together.
"No. I know it isn't your fault, when she gets an idea in her head no one gets it out." Him and I both laughed at how true that statement was but we quickly glared at each other and stopped.
"Miss Malorie seems happy." Dobby intervened. "I've been watching at times as well." I kneeled down to be as close to his eye level as possible.
"She is. But she misses you." Diggory coughed and I rolled my eyes. "Both of you." I grumbled. It was Dumbledore's turn to cough and I rolled my eyes again, "She obviously misses you, you were a mentor to her. You knew big secrets even I didn't know." He nodded.
"Speaking of Ms. Granger, allow me to show you something..." He opened his arm for me and I walked over to him, stiffening as he placed his hands on my shoulders. He motioned over the wall everyone used to get to Platform 9 ¾ and a projection appeared. I saw everyone at the war I had just been at a second ago, then I saw her: Kat, laying down on the floor next to-- No. Impossible. That's me. How am I here but I'm there? What? Wait... the in between. The realization began to dawn on me, making my panic rise rapidly.
"Wait... so when you said 'in between' you meant in between life and death?" I turned to look at Dumbledore.
"Yes Draco. You're not completely gone but you're fading away." What? No. I can't be dead.
"How? What happened?" I asked, my panic increasing more and more by the second.
"Well... you choose the right side. Voldemort got mad, he claimed you were corrupted by a traitor--"
"Kat?"
"Indeed. He used the killing curse on her--" No. No. No. No. She's alive. She has to be. "Draco please calm down, she's fine. You saved her. You pushed her out of the way."
"So instead the killing curse hit me?" Holy fuck. My life began to flash before my eyes now that I knew I was not alive.
I saw my mom and father, holding a baby version of me in their arms. They look... happy. So what happened? Why are they so unhappy now?
I saw me sitting in on a meeting with my father, and when I knew they weren't paying attention, I sneaked out and headed into the depths of the gardens with Dobby, and tried to teach him how to read.
I saw my father beating me senselessly. He had discovered me hanging out with Dobby.
I saw my first day at Hogwarts, speaking with Potter, Weasley, and the Granger sisters. It's the first day I met Kat, and I remember I was so taken aback by her ability to stand up for herself. She refused to let me be a jerk to her and her friends.
I saw the day before third year, my father had been hitting me, and I went upstairs in anger, and there she was. Kat. With Granger. She threw her arms around me, having not received much affection up to that point I was unsure how to react, but with her it felt different. I knew what to do. My body immediately felt comforted by hers and as if based on instinct, I wrapped my arms around her and brought her close to me.
I saw the day in third year she had brought me home for Christmas Eve. We had a snowball fight, and she had fallen on top of me, and as I saw snowflakes fall on her eyelashes, I had to fight not to kiss her, even though I desperately wanted to. Her sister had seen me, and warned me not to get close to her. I will forever be grateful that I was not one to listen to Granger.
I saw the day I had smelled her in my Amortentia. I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I hoped it was bullshit. Because feelings made me weak. My father had taught me that. And so I made the dare, even though I didn't want to. And I took her stargazing. That night was among the best nights of my life. But I fucked up. And she went to the Yule Ball with Bloody Diggory. Not with me.
I'll never forget that night she descended down those stairs. With her beautiful emerald green gown that accentuated all her curves, her gorgeous burgundy hair, her flawless face that she didn't even need makeup for. Everything about her was just... perfect. That night, I saw and understood that there would never be anyone else for me than her, no matter what anyone else would think, it would always be me and her. To the end.
I saw the day we had shown our love for each other, and allowed ourselves to be consumed by one another. With no regrets. I clearly recalled the way her body fit perfectly against mine. How her body reacted to me when my fingertips grazed her skin gently. How my body reacted to her with the same amount of passion. I truly love this woman.
I saw the night of our anniversary, how much I loved to see her read as the moonlight hit her skin perfectly. I conveyed all of it in my drawing in my sketchbook. Which I still haven't shown her.
And now I would never get to.
"No." Dumbeldore's voice interrupted my memories. "You were able to get both of you safely out of the way. Great job Draco. However, when you fell, you hit your head on one of the pieces of architecture that have fallen down, there's a good chance you're bleeding into your brain." You've got to be kidding me.
"What? No. This is bullshit. You're telling me I survived a killing curse, from the Dark Lord himself, just to get killed by a lifeless rock? Hell no." I refused to accept it.
"That's where you come in, Draco. Do you want to go back?" Diggory intervened.
"Yes." I answered immediately.
"Think it over for a minute." Diggory insisted.
"There's nothing to think about. I have to go back."
"Isn't there though? Think about Ms. Granger." Dumbledore spoke again.
"That's exactly who I'm thinking of." She needs me. I need her.
"Will she be better by your side? Will she be successful? Accomplish all she dreams of? Be full of nothing but love in her life?" I hesitated before answering.
We're bad for each other. We've established that, and shown it many, many times. We hurt each other, I hurt her much more than she does me. She deserves better, someone who shows her constantly how much she's worth. Someone who disproves her theory about 'True Love's Kiss' being 'Bullshit.' Someone who makes her realize her worth, not make her doubt it. With someone else, she can accomplish her dreams and have the best of both the muggle and wizarding world. She can do what she was born to do and be a healer for the wizarding world, and she can fight for children in foster care (both muggle and magical), helping them make sure they get placed in stable homes. Helping children and the sick is legitimately what she was born to do, she's got the talent and history for it. She can have a huge library. She can spend her life reading, being happy. She deserves that at least. Just as I inclined towards a decision, a scream from the projection startled me, and I turned to watch the devastatingly horrible scene play out in front of me.
Mal's POV
"Draco! Draco!" I shook him. He didn't stir. This can't be happening. My best friend died in front of me. My brother. That was enough pain. I can't lose you too. "No! No! You don't get to die on me."
Desperate, I took off my jacket, no longer caring if everyone saw the repulsive mark on my left forearm, and covered the blood from his head, trying to stop the bleeding by applying pressure, I lay him flat on his back and started compressions on his chest. I know this was the cause of a curse. I know I can't revive him. I know. But I've got to try. "He doesn't get to win!" I yelled, not at him in particular but at the world. I'm angry with the world. After all we've been through, I can't lose him. After 30 compressions I opened his mouth and blew into it like I was taught, two times. And I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
As I stared at his still chest I felt my world tear down around me. This isn't like when I saw Harry dead, this feels worse. I feel like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest, yet even worse, because I'm still breathing. And he's not. "No! Damn it Draco! Wake up!" I started compressions again. He has to live. He can't die. Not for me. There is no me without him.
I know that sounds stupid and that's exactly the kind of romantic crap I would've laughed at someone for saying 4 years ago but this isn't 4 years ago. I'm not 14 anymore. I'm 18 and I've experienced love. Real, true, messy, kind of love. I've cried with him and I've cried because of him. We've yelled at each other only to have that lead us back to each other almost immediately. That's love. It's not some fairytale crap where everything goes smoothly and the only thing that stands in between us is some jealous stepmother. We are the ones that stand in the way of our own happiness. I decided to stop doing that a while ago.
Yes, love is scary, and terrifying, and painful. But it's also worth it.
Being loved by Draco Malfoy was the best thing that's ever happened to me and despite all the crap he put me through and all I know I've put him through, I know neither of us would change anything.
I felt someone strong tug at my shoulder, trying to pull me away from him. Whoever it was, I pushed them away with as much force as I could muster up. Can't they see it? He's not breathing. He has to breathe. He has to live. Can't they see that if he dies, I do too?
Draco's POV
Watching the projection of Kat's suffering, I reached a decision. I turned to Digggory and Dobby and nodded sadly at them. I looked back at Dumbledore and shook my head, not bothering to wipe away the tear rolling down my cheek. I'm so sorry baby. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what was about to come.