I spent another two hours in my car reminiscing about me and Lena it's like inside my heart soul there is a vault full of dusty boxes, memories of me and Lena some opened some gone through some not never even opened since we made them like huge file cabinets of precious memories even the bad ones are precious because at least I was with her when we made them and in every time in every universe that's all I wanted but her actions and words towards me prove that she has never felt the same I do not know which is more tragic loving somebody like the universe loves the stars or that person being blind to it always all of her actions have showed me in the next of the moment she does not care for me she wouldn't have left me so coldly and easy if she did she says we were never close friends but her eyes tell the truth
I got out if my car feeling deflated remembering the bad memories of us feeling exhausted the cold Moscow air hits me damn I forgot how cold back home is sipping espresso martinis and laying in the sun for ten years has sure done a number on me
I go inside stand at the elevator doors press the button that I defeating didn't want to press get in go up to my floor walk down the hall get my key out and enter out rental I feel so sad and weak in this moment and all because of memories with a redhead I meet in 99 from Motherland Moscow
Andre
Hey baby where have you been? I was thinking that you weren't coming back tonight can we talk about what happened earlier?
Yuila
I was in my car thinking about someone
Andre
Who? You are usually so loving, kind sweet and generous but over the past 2 days you've gone cold was anyone with you?
Yuila
No Andre there was nobody with me I'm tried I'm going to bed we can talk about this tomorrow
Andre
Ok well if your going to bring down your shutters on me like that than i will sleep out here
Yuila
It's not that I'm bringing my shutters down on you it's just it's late I am exhausted and I don't want to talk about this at this hour ok?
Andre
Night
Yuila goes into her bedroom and slams the door in anger and doesnt reply to her boyfriend she takes off her clothes in record time flips off her heels goes to the bathroom brushes her teeth and puts her hair up and get into her PJS
within 10 minutes Andre is lightly snoring on the couch yuila opens the door to check and then closes the door and gets into there bed pulls the covers over her she thinks about Lena for the longest time till her eyes are going down she thinks of one last memory
Lena
Volkova promise you will always keep me near?
Yuila
I promise my Katina always, just you and me in our paradise
Next thing i see out of my eyes is me and Lena
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
7.30am
Beep...beep...beep
I hit my damn alarm with an open palm
I'm so confused did I just have a dream or did that actually just happen between me and Lena?
I drag myself out of bed like a lovesick heartbroken, mopey teenager sadness, pain and grief hits my emotions, my chest and pierces my heart once again over Lena
I brush my teeth and jump in the shower
I jump out and get dressed and dry my hair in record time
a spray or two or channel never hurt anyone right? I grabbed my keys and bank card i purposely left my phone there don't want to be hassled by Andre or anyone else today
I call the elevator in record time I don't know why I am in such a rush or where I'm going or whom I am going to be seeing my soul is racing towards someone and fast I get in my BMW reverse it out and floor it with no destination in mind I hear the tape in my mind yell at me where the fuck you going Volkova?
Don't know I say out loud to myself just around the block I say
I pull outside the house a nice normal America in style house park in the driveway turn the ignition off and get out I walk along the already hot pavment and knock on the ordinary house
I think about leaving just as I am about to the door flings open and both of our jaws drop and each other older more refined beauty
Beauty really does come with age
?
"YUILA!?!"
