His Secret

Chapter 33

   I felt empty.

   "I know what he meant to you." She sighed sadly. "He cared about you too. You have to understand that, Jennifer."

   Even though I held a blank face, I thought about what she said. He might of cared about me. But it wasn't enough to make him stay.

   He left.

   'You don't realize that I have been trying to live this moment since the first day I came here. I couldn't get myself to leave you since the moment I saw you. And now I see that I'm nothing good for you Jennifer. Let me go.'

   His words hit my heart like bullets.

   'Let me go.' He had said to me.

   "I can't."

   My mother smiled a sad smile, tears swimming in her eyes. "You can, Jennifer. You have to understand, sometimes, the world works better if you accept things."

   But I couldn't do that. I would never accept letting Jason go.

   He was a part of me.

   A part of me that was dead.

  'You need to move on. Without me.' His words rang in my head, like chruch bells.

   "Why?" I cried out.

   My mother sad smile stayed in place on her chapped lips. It was forced to stay there. "Why, what?"

   'You need to move on. Without me.' His voice came perfectly again.

   "Why can't he stay with me?"

   My mother's smile dimmed a little. "He's gone, Jennifer." Her words were the opposite of what they once were.

   I remember, I passed out after Jason left that day. My mother found me. She thought I was sleeping on the ground.

  'Jason's gone.' I said without life in my voice.

  'Well, I'm sure he'll come back.'

  'I hope so.' I said under my breath.

   "I hope so." I mumbled.

   My mother didn't hear me, though. "Jennifer, look. Things— things happen in life. Things we don't have any control over." A silent tear slipped down her face. "But we can't let them ruin our lives, Jennifer. We build our lives on top of it. We don't forget these things. but we let them become a part of us. A part we accept."

  You just push that shit aside and build a new person. A better person. A confident person.

   You build yourself.

   I had once said these words to myself. I needed to take my own advice.

   "Mother, what day is it?" My voice came out a whisper.

   "Friday."

   "Friday, what?"

   "Friday, the fifteenth."

   I paused. "Mother, take me somewhere."

   She frowned. She could no longer hold her fake smile. "Where?"

   I stood from my bed for the first time in a long time. "Take me to the Showcase. I need to dance." 

*

   "Jennifer," My mother's voice came out worriedly. "You don't need to do this. You don't need to prove anything to anyone."

   "I'm not."

   "If you're not ready—" I cut her off.

   "I'm ready." I was.

   She continued driving down the road toward the school. She looked worried.

   I felt empty.

   But I was trying to build confidence. Even if it was fake.

  

Constantly, even when we were dancing, Jason would tell me to keep my look confident. Walk with confidence, grab things with confidence, do everything with confidence.

I felt like a weak person who was slowly opening her eyes to a different life. A better one.

   I had once thought these words. I had once felt these feelings.

   I wanted to feel these feelings again.

   Even if it was wrong, I wanted to live the past again.

   The past that held Jason.

  *

     "Where's your partner, Devin?" My coach snapped angrily when he saw me standing alone. I stood there in my dancing heels and the dance outfit, which was a short white dress that clung to my body, hugging me everywhere.

   "He couldn't make it." I mumbled.

  "Don't worry, Princess. I won't let you down."

   "As long as I can help it, I'll always be here for you."

   I sighed but for the first time in a week, I smiled a little. I had a feeling all of his words would never leave. They'd haunt me forever.

   I was okay with that. I didn't want to let Jason leave me life, even though he was already gone.

   'Maybe she isn't such a princess anymore. Maybe, she's in control of the palace now. Maybe, she's the Queen.'

   My smile grew.

  You were so perfect. So innocent. My Princess. You’ll always be my Princess.

   I sighed. "I'll always belong to you."

   "JENNIFER!" My coach suddenly screamed. My head snapped in his direction. "You're up next!"

   I suddenly felt nervous.

   I could do this, right? I could do everything Jason had taught me without him here, right?

   His voice came back.

   'Just be you. Let yourself free, Princess.'

   Just be myself.

   Always.

   Because you only live once.

  It was like he was teaching more than dancing. He was teaching me to be a better person.  And that better person was myself.

   You changed me, Princess. You have no idea honestly. You changed me into a better man.

   "No, Jason. You changed me. You changed me into a better person."

   "JENNIFER DEVIN IS UP NEXT!" A voice shouted into the microphone.

   I took a deep breath and just as I was about to climb that first step up the staircase, there came a voice.

   "You're not going out there by yourself are you?"

   I gasped as my heart clenched up. That voice. My heart knew that voice. No.

   No.

   Yes.

   But before I could turn around, arms wrapped themselves around me, as if they were never going to let go.

   The voice whispered into my ear, "I've missed you, Princess."

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The End.

:')

Thank You.

[Stupid little author's note: I've had some people who were confused. Jason's lives guys! Reread the last part! I would rewrite it to make it more clear but I really wanted it to end this way :)]