Ashes Of Eden [Kylo Ren x Reader] // Hogwarts AU

chapter 1: the garden

They say time can heal all wounds. While I think that statement might be true people seem to forget that deep, truly deep wounds that leave you aching for days, not able to get out of bed or communicate with anyone, leave scars. And whatever you do, however hard you fight, they don't leave you. They stay as an ugly reminder of an accident, crime, or - in my case - a heartbreak.

And now that I've run out of poetic words to describe my situation: fuck you, Kylo. Reall-

"What are you writing?" asked Rey in a hushed voice, disturbing your written hate speech against that Slytherin bastard. Quickly you put your forearm over the words which were now staining the parchment.

"Nothing", you answered immediately, looking back at Professor McGonagall who was just about to vanish a puppy.

Rey eyed you suspiciously. Of course she was aware of your current emotional state. She had watched as you shut everyone around you out in the past few days, but it hurt to see you were doing the same to her now.

In this moment, more than ever before, she wished she had never introduced you to Kylo Ren. He was trouble from the first second. How hadn't she seen that? The answer was probably too painful which was why she pushed it away to the back of her head, hoping she'd never have to face it again.

Her train of thought was abruptly disturbed by the loud cheers of James and Sirius' comment which followed shortly after.

"Maybe we could make Ren vanish like that", he suggested, nudging his elbow against James' arm.

At the mention of his name you tensed. Another wave of sadness and anger hit you. You willed the tears out of your eyes as you continued staring at Professor McGonagall who looked satisfied at the empty plate in front of her where the puppy laid just seconds before.

The Professor almost seemed flustered as she looked up and the Gryffindors' cheers continued.

When she revelled enough in their approval she spoke up again and her voice instantly made everyone shut their mouth. She made a remark about not vanishing fellow students - though, she said if any of them were able to do it they'd have her admiration since it's a very complicated spell - and continued with the lesson.

You had spaced out long before that. A thousand thoughts were racing through your head every one of them screaming for dominance, waiting for you to tend to them. They were tearing your mind apart.

The puppy had just vanished right in front of your eyes and it painfully reminded you how your relationship had. From one second to the next Kylo had gone from your best friend, boyfriend, and light in the darkness to nothing. In fact, he became part of said darkness which weighed heavier on you now than ever before.

It was easier to be angry at him than to be angry at yourself. Deep down, you knew you couldn't blame him. You knew the reason why he had vanished from your life, just like that, was your doing. You weren't just a part of the audience in this. You were the one who had made him disappear. You were the one casting the spell.

---- 9 months earlier ----

You were awake for hours already when the alarm clock you had gifted Rey last Christmas went off. Even though you were about to start your fifth year at Hogwarts you were as excited as on September 1st four years ago. And you never slept well when you were so overwhelmed with excitement.

Whilst Rey was softly snoring through the night, dreaming of whatever weird thing she would surely tell you later about, you couldn't even close your eyes. You had the urge to do something - just anything. Your body was wide awake and your mind buzzed with ideas.