(TW: Mention of Self Harm and Blood)
well here we are
me and the monster who's sewn itself into me,
patch upon patch
button upon button,
removing a part of me every time it does so
turning the best parts of me rotten,
the parts of my heart and mind i'd worked
so tirelessly,
endlessly,
to keep safe,
the monster charges at the barriers i've put up
with the needles
the thread
the buttons and patches,
a larger part of who i am dying
every time it succeeds,
the poison spreading like spilled soda
sinking in further the harder i try to stop it,
the monster claims my pain as it's own
"i was more traumatized by it than you were"
as if its nerves were the thread it used
to sew its poisonous patches into me,
its perception of me is the one shown to the world,
"it was a bonding experience",
as if my pain is the feast that feeds it
this beast
this horrid thing,
it lives in my house with me
it always will,
even when i leave this place
there will still be remnants
of the buttons
of the threads,
i can remove
no
rip
the monster's patches from myself
but at what cost?
it has replaced parts of me with itself,
vital parts of me,
but i do not care,
i begin to tear
cut
rip
away the patches
buttons
thread
every fucking part of itself it has sewn into me,
when i'm done i look in the mirror
see the blood pouring from my skin
the wounds i've created
and even though the blood is filling my lungs
i can finally breathe
