Irony

Ohne Titel Teil 1

It's ironic how two years ago you joked about us being a couple and I was so insecure about me, my sexuality and my feelings, so i told you to stop and now I'm all head over heals for you.

It's ironic that, now that you don't talk to me as much as you used to, I recognized how much I need our little, flirty conversations.

It's ironic how I'm not brave enough to sit next to you, but if one of your friends sits next to you i feel like someone ripped my heart out.

It's ironic, that I'll never be good enough for you, but if your with someone else i feel like I want to cry.

It's ironic how whenever I am with you it is so painful i just want to run away, but when I'm not with you I feel like I can't breath.

It's ironic that I'm jealous every time you smile at someone else, but I don't even deserve you.

It's ironic how I imagine a future with you, but know it will never happen.

It's ironic that after every time we spent some time together I'm in my room, all alone, crying, because it's over.

It's ironic how I dare feeling like this, even though your already so much better than I can ever imagine to be.

It's ironic that every time i catch a glimp of your smile in the corridor I feel better and as soon as I can't see it any longer I just want to cry, because that smile won't stay in my life forever.

It's ironic that every time we talk you seem happy and open and enjoying yourself, but as soon as I get the courage to text you I immediately get the feeling to annoy you.

It's ironic how I hate to be touched by someone, how I flinch every time my mom pulls me into a hug, how I feel incredibly uncomfortable every time someone shakes my hand or lays their hand on my shoulder.

But that doesn't count for you.

I'm craving for you holding me, touching me.

I was happy every time you grabbed my hand.

I was happy every time you laid your head on my shoulder.

I was happy every time our shoulders or knees touched while we're sitting next to each other in the bus.

I was happy every time you hugged me, even if it was just for a second.

I was happy every time you put your hand on my tight, without having any idea what your doing the me.

I was happy every time you came from behind me, grabbing my waist, whispering into my ear, while hugging me.

And every time you touched me it sent shivers down my spine,

when your breath tickled the sensitive skin behind my ear,

when you looked at me with your beautiful eyes,

when you smiled at me,

when you talked to me with your beautiful, soft voice,

when you fall asleep with your head on my shoulder and your breath tickled my skin,

when you sang to me that one time

my heart stops beating for a second and I want to kiss you and make you mine.

But that's never gonna happen.

So ironic.