lil pimp- er I mean, lil pump: a fanmade sequel to infectious love

Putin and Rona and walls, oh shit

(Authors note: this will be a slow chapter and will not be very eventful. Basically just awful trump, wallace, carl, and putin fluff with a little drama at the end. This is legit the fanfic sequel that NO ONE asked for.)

Twas yet another standard winter day at Putin's Peg Mansion. The wind blew briskly through the slightly cracked window, and snow was adorning the plot like a camera shot straight out of a hallmark christmas movie. There sat Trump in his orange recliner chair, his complexion causing him to blend in like a chameleon, Wallace and Carl seated closely together on the small leather couch next to him. The crackling fire before them illuminated all of trumps ghastly features, somehow making him look.. Even more orange what in the hell- and his grooms could not have it worse for the Cheeto man. Trump too was in awe of wallace and Carl, quietly uttering the lyrics to the hit song "wap" by cardi b to calm his sexual desires. Breaking the silence, Carl spoke up, gazing fondly at Wallace and good ol Don.

"I think its about time we went on our honeymoon" he said expectantly, looking to his beloved husbands for an answer. This time, it was the Don himself who broke the silence.

"I like it here in Russia, where would we go?"

"How about barbados?"

"I'm banned from Barbados" trump said sadly, Wallace giving a knowing look.

"Alright, how about Scotland?"

"I'm banned from Scotland" he replied oncemore, but of course Carl persisted.

"Okay then, what about Iceland?"

"Can't go there"

"Hawaii?"

"No cigar"

"New mexico? Wait shit nevermind.. Uh.. Italy?"

"Got banned for bringing my mafia"

"You brought a mafia?"

"I thought it was the culture there"

"Not when its a bunch of braindead incels and people in their 60's in your make america great again hats" Wallace interjected, watching trump sip cherry coke from his "make america great again" mug.

"Okay forget the Mafia, you know, I've always wanted to go to Norway" Carl tried, but Trump barely reacted.

"I'm banned there too"

"Umm.. Canada?"

"He's banned everywhere" wallace stated matter of factly, to which trump merely shrugged.

"How did you even get banned from canada?"

"I angered the gays. We all know everyone's gay in canada."

The 3 men nodded in understanding, a chorus of "oh's" filling the mansion.

The conversation came to a steady hault however when Vlad Putin himself came through the front door, carrying a large box which he struggled to fit inside the unusually slim perimters of the entrance, the attention of all 3 men turning to their host and peg partner.

"I am home you slimy delinquents" he bellowed, setting the box down on the floor in front of him. "Donnie, this is for you.. You can call it an early Christmas gift"

Don slowly made his way over to the box, examining it closely. He has been this close to getting poisoned before, but this time seemed different. A curious box it was, wrapped in mickey mouse paper and topped off with a silver bow, almost appearing to be moving a little. Trump reached down cautiously to remove the lid, but nothing could have prepared him for the gift he was about to receive.

In the blink of an eye, a beautiful golden retriever puppy hopped out of the box and into Don's lap, immediately going to lick his nasty orange face.

"Wait, no don't eat my concealer you'll hurt yourself" he said sweetly, scooping the puppy into his frail elderly arms.

The puppy's fur matched the color of his cheese whiz hair, but wore it much better. Putin, Wallace, and Carl looked on in amusement at the budget annoying orange cosplayer as he interacted with his new pet. This would surely be the start of a beautiful friendship... Well, one of few friends don had ever had. The moment however was once again interrupted, but this time, by none other than trumps secret best friend, Joe Biden.

"Trumpy boy, I have someone you should meet" biden announced, strolling into the room, a hand on the shoulder of a smaller man they had never seen before.

Dick tattoo on the face and all, there stood lil pump himself, and trump was memorized. Lil pump had ruined ze russia plan, and maybe, just maybe, trumps heart was next.