INANG HIRAYA AWARDS 2020

ROMANCE BATCH 2 RESULTS

> Take a look at this example:

Instead of this:  (matapos non ay bumili kami ng chips and bottle water habang pabalik kami ay sa theatre hall ay napadaan kami sa front lawn ng school I spotted the guy again glaring in our direction tumingin ako sa likuran namin para tignan kung sinong kung sinong tinitignan niya a guy and girl. sa sobrang close ng mga tinitignan niya mahuhulaan mo agad ang sitwasyon He's jealous.)

Try this: (Matapos no'n ay bumili kami ng chips and bottled water. Habang pabalik kami sa theatre hall ay napadaan kami sa front lawn ng school, I spotted the guy again. He's glaring at our direction. Tumingin ako sa likuran namin para makita kung sinong tinitingnan niya—a guy and girl. Sa sobrang close ng mga tinitingnan niya ay mahuhulaan mo agad ang sitwasyon—he's obviously jealous.)

• Misused of Action and Dialogue tags. Just search for this for u to know the difference of the two.

• Nang/Ng, Rin/Din, Ron/Don, Raw/Daw etc.
> Here's what to take note— Use rin/raw/roon/rito when the preceded word ends with vowels, semi-vowels which is w and y.
> Use din/daw/dito/doon when the preceded word ends with consonants.

> Nang - Used in the beginning of a sentence. In between of repeated verb and on a adverb of manner. You can also use it as a substitute of Para and Upang. 
 > Ng - When answering a question like; what & when. Stating a possession and when it's about time and date. 

• Be extra careful on the spacing of the words and the apostrophe.
> Example:
× Sino batong hayop nato?
√ Sino ba 'tong hayop na 'to?

× ...dahil umikot pako.
√ ...dahil umikot pa 'ko.

× ....dahil late nako.
√ dahil late na 'ko.

• A little misspellings.
> Example:
× Fist bomb
√ Fist bump

× Tatsna
√ Tantya

× Tignan/Tinitingnan
√ Tingnan/ Tinitingnan

:: Suggestion - Instead of putting the literal 'HAHAHA' just express it through sentence, for it to be more formal. Like, 'Aniya at tumawa ng napakalakas'. This is just a suggestion though, it's still up to u if you'll take it.

That's all, good luck! Keep safe and keep writing!

🌟🌟🌟

' ENTRY 3 - fujimiya03
● When I Dream About You ●

° Writing style - 18/20
 
° Plot - 17/20

° Flow - 23/25

→→→→→ Total - 89/100

Critique:

There's nothing much to criticize on ur story. I guess aralin mo lang ang difference ng dialogue and action tags.  Also, be careful when putting apostrophe. I noticed may ibang unnecessary naman but you still placed one and sa comma para hindi nakakahingal basahin. One more thing, I'd suggest instead of puting (*ring*) just describe how it sounds, in that way it'd be more formal. But if you're comfortable that way then I guess that's fine. Anw, that's all. Good luck and stay safe!

🌟🌟🌟

' ENTRY 4 - DBardz
● PWD Series #1: Blind For Your Love ●

° Writing style - 18/20
 
° Plot - 18/20

° Flow - 23/25
 
→→→→→ Total - 90/100

Critique:

P.S. Sorry if this is isn't as detailed. I couldn't take note of each errors I noticed due to my tight schedule. Anw, here are some of it.

• I've seen how u often gets confused with the usage of; Rin/Din, Raw/Daw, Dito/Rito, Roon/Doon.
> Here's what to take note— Use rin/raw/roon/rito when the preceded word ends with vowels, semi-vowels which is w and y.
> Use din/daw/dito/doon when the preceded word ends with consonants.

• A little misused of nang/ng.
> Here's what I know; Nang - Used in the beginning of a sentence. In between of repeated verb and on a adverb of manner. You can also use it as a substitute of Para and Upang. 
 > Ng - When answering a question like; what & when. Stating a possession and when it's about time and date. 

• Dialogue and Action tags. Just search for this on any socmed platform, there's ton of examples u can practice on to.

• Sometimes you're using an unnecessary apostrophe. Also, mind with the spacings—kalma lang when typing since I believe that u could've missed it for u maybe—update fast. Just proofread ur work and you're very much good to go!

That's all, good luck! Keep writing! Stay safe. ♡

🌟🌟🌟

' ENTRY 5 -  Bantogan_Malaya
● Petrichor's Haven ●

° Writing style - 18/20

° Plot - 19/20
 
° Flow - 24/25

→→→→→ Total - 95/100

Critique:

• Book cover, I love the art. Not only it gives off a happy vibes of a group but it also breaks racism. Though I think you'll have to work with the font and do a little adjustment. It looks good though.

• Action and Dialogue tags. I noticed how you often misused it. If you don't know the difference of the two, I highly suggest you make research about it.

• A few wrong usage of Rin/Din, Raw/Daw, Nang/Ng. Idk if you know the rules of it but just in case you don't, here's what I know about it. Because sharing is caring. Lol

> Use rin/raw/roon/rito when the preceded word ends with vowels, semi-vowels which is w and y.
> Use din/daw/dito/doon when the preceded word ends with consonants.

> Nang - Used in the beginning of a sentence. In between of repeated verb and on a adverb of manner. You can also use it as a substitute of Para and Upang. 
 > Ng - When answering a question like; what & when. Stating a possession and when it's about time and date. 

• Mind with the punctuations, be it comma, apostrophe or period. Since I also noticed that you sometimes forget to place on other contraction words.

That's all, good luck. Keep writing and stay safe!

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CONGRATULATIONS, Bantogan_Malaya ! You're one of the TOP 8!