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You walked into the bau inhaling the stench of desperate bitches. "Ahhh my people" you spoke aloud.
"Excuse me?" a blonde woman looked at you confused. The Stench of fish and desperation filling your nostrils.
"What." you stared her down
"I thought you said something..." you stared at the girl "umm my name's seaver....Ashely Seaver." she lifted her hand in front of her suggesting a hand shake.
"Sorry" you raised your hand blocking the handshake "my mom told me i'm not allowed to touch trash." you walked away looking for hotches office. You walked in, spotting a woman with dark hair and a red tank top.
"So...are you gonna take me up on the offer hotch?" you heard the woman say as she leaned over the desk.
"Agent y/l/n." hotch looked at you. The women stood up, making eye contact with you.
"Hi, I'm Emily Prentiss," the woman took her hand out. You took it in yours gratefully thanking the gods for being able to touch this woman. She took her hand back winking at you as she left the office. You pulled your hand to your face smelling your skin which had once touched hers. The smell makes you let out a whine.
"y/n..." hotch starred at you "...i'll show you where your desk is so you can set your stuff out"
"Yes hotchy." you followed him out of the office watching as his perky ass clapped loudly echoing throughout the bau. Oh you definitely know what that offer was now. And you wanted every part of it.
Hotch's juicy cheeks landed themselves at a desk next to a beautiful chocolate man.
"This is your desk." he pointed at the empty chair and desk " and that's derek, morgan, y/l/n, y/l/n, morgan.'' Hotch walked back to his office taking everyone's attention away from ther work as his cheeks contituned to crash into each other.
"Hi y/l/n." derek waved at you
"Oh y/n please"
"No."
"Alright." you sat your stuff on the desk as you took a seat in your chair. As you started setting up your stuff you thought back to Ashley the fish girl. You remembered how her teeth were yellow and her little beady eyes begging for acceptance.
"Hi." a shy voice took you out of your thoughts. You turned around to see a tall man standing over you. " Im spencer reid!" he smiled at you with his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his feet.
"Hi im y/n yl/n!" you smiled back inspecting his look. His hair was slicked back, had glasses resting upon the bridge of his nose. He wore a sweater vest, a white button up with a tie, grey pants and converse. "Nice socks."
"Thank you!" he looked down at his feet as he rolled his ankles around. You started to hear the glorious song of hotch's cheeks
"We have a case." he announced as he strutted into the round room. Everyone stood up and walked to the round room.
You grabbed reids wrist before he walked away. You leaned over and whispered a question in his ear "you a pegboy?"
Reid stared at you. He turned around and went into the round room. You shrugged your arms and followed after him admiring how tight his pants were.
You walked into the room seeing a man wearing a chain and flashing money as he passed a joint. Everyone sat down in there seats leaving you standing " sorry agent y/n we dont have another chair" hotch stated "must suck"
"Oh it's fine i'll just sit here" you walked over to the fish girl and pushed out of her chair and sat where she was seated.
"AHHHHH YOU CAN'T DO THAT" she whined
"I just did tho"
"MY DADS A SERIAL KILLER"
"This case is in California" Garcia interjected " the victims are all male they all have glitter glued to them and they're dicks have been cut off and shoved down her throat.
Derek chuckled to himself " hey pretty boy, remember when we-'' Reid started laughing along with Derek as he did not finish his sentence. They both stopped laughing at the same time there faces with no expressions they stared at the picture on the screen.
" knew it." you stated
"Wheels up in 30 sluts" hotch got up and walked away, his cheeks echoing through the room. You glanced at Emily. She was staring at his glazing buns as she licked her lips.
every one stood up and walked out of the round room. When you stood up you saw trashley laying face down chanting to herself " my dads a serial killer. my dads a serial killer. my dads a serial killer. my dads a serial killer. my dads a serial killer." she continued to chant as you left the room.
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Hey y'all if you came here from my other book your prolly confused but im prolly gonna actually update this one lol. It's just easier to write because I can kinda put whatever I want. ALSO almost every character that has been on the show I'm gonna try and write in. this is a whole joke and i hope yall like it lol.
