Awake. I'm fucking awake. My alarm flows though my ears, burning my head alerting me that I need to stop being lazy and get ready for school.
Today was not a special day. In fact it was very ordinary. After staring at my wall for half a hour, I rip the covers of me as I grab a little bit of motivation to start the day.
As I put my petite feet on the ground I remember that today was a special day. My best friend moe was turning 18 today.
Later on she is having a party, as it is a Friday night and I'm planning on blacking out. Lol.
After my horrific break up 4 months ago, I think I'm ready to go out again. It's been hard. Very hard. But my mother raised me to be my own woman, and that's what I'm going to do.
His name was Tom. He was (what I thought was) the love of my life and I never really expected things to end as it did.
I am a believer of 'everything happens for a reason' , which puts me at ease.
As I slowly pull myself off of my massive white bed, I look in the mirror. My dyed black hair was sticking up and quite honestly, I looked horrific.
Recently I have died the front bits of my hair blue, which I really like, and some would call me a emo.
Personally I just think black is the best colour and my fave colour of choice, but most would argue I was a emo.
I get dressed and put on a small red and black tartan skirt, which just about reached over my petite curves. Under the skirt I added some ripped, black fishnets and paired them with some black doc martins and some knee high black socks. For a top I just threw on a big, oversized T and attached in all of my necklaces, rings and bracelets.
I run my chipped black nails though my long black hair and begin to add a tiny plait on the front of my head.
For makeup, I add black eye liner which compliments my green eyes and add some nude lipstick over lining my lips a little to give them some extra 'plumpness'.
People at my school tend to add freckles but I'm lucky to have natural ones which darken in the sun.
Finally, I'm ready.
I pack my small handbag and go downstairs and go to school.
Yes you heard it right, I ate no breakfast. Now, eating is a sensitive topic with me. I find it hard to eat with my body dysmorphia and eating disorder but this year I'm better.
When people ask about it I become embarrassed and change the subject, but in reality, I think I need to talk about it.
Tom used to be that person. That person who I could talk to about shit in my head. He was that person who honestly kept me alive.
And now my reason to stay alive is gone, and I'm not sure how to cope.
Anyways, enough of my sad story.
As I get to school I sit down in a bench just located outside the school entrance.
Here is where I like to smoke. I know, I know, smoking is 'bad' but I honestly have lost the will to care at this point.
Caring is OVERRATED.
As I'm sitting by myself, a new face enters my eyesight. This new face has me astounded. He is beautiful.
This man walks so confided, but holds no emotion to his pale face.
He wears black jeans, black shoes and a black top, with chains and rings. His arms was covered in random tattoos which are planted on his perfect muscles. He also had a nose piercing which caresses his perfect nose and a earring in each ear.
His hair was dark and brown, which looked soft and silky. His eyes was strikingly blue and his lips. Don't get me started on his lips.
They were so perfect. So kissable.
As I sat there smoking my cigarette, I locked eyes with this goddess.
He looked at me with no expression and the corner of his mouth twitched. I instantly look away with confidence but oh my fuck, I was so embarrassed inside.
One thing I have always been good at is hiding my emotions. I was so thankful for this GIFT in this moment.
WHO WAS THIS GUY.
In my head I was screaming. He is beautiful. My eyes have been blessed.
Suddenly, moe harshly plants her hands on my shoulders, leaving me frightened. Which then made me scream and fall of the bench I was sitting on.
Me and moe fall to the ground, laughing our arses off. I take a pull of my cigarette, and get up. As I turn around to help moe up, I throw my cigarette on the ground and glare upwards.
There he was again.
He looked at me with very little expression, but did indeed to look slightly confused. I looked him up and down and slightly bit my lip at the sight of him.
Now this wasn't really on purpose. It was just a reflex when I see him.
"Are you just going to leave me down here" moe screamed. Coming out of a trance I laugh and bend down to give moe a hand.
She gets on her feet and follows my eyesight to the goddess. "Who in the fucking fucks is that" she says in amazement.
"I don't know but I want him." I mumble.
