Leaving, losing, loving | Merluca

Part 1

There was a dinner party at Meredith’s house. And by now she should know that those tend to not end well when she hosts them, but she needed the distraction. And when Amelia and Maggie came up with the idea, she let them convince her that it was indeed a great one. Today, three years ago she won the Harper Avery Award, now called Catherine Fox Award. And it seemed like the people around her thought it was reason enough for her to host a party.

A lot has changed the past few months. Andrew had gotten his diagnosis, and she had hoped that when he was getting better, they would also get closer again, but it was quite the opposite. He had asked her for time, and she wanted to give that to him. But one week turned into two until it was a month. At some point she had heard from Carina that Andrew had gone back to Italy for some time.

And she would lie if she said that it didn’t hurt her, that he didn’t even tell her. Sure, they had no responsibilities towards each other anymore, they were broken up at the time. She tends to forget sometimes; she wants to have hope that he’ll come back to her. But now, three months have passed, and already two with barely any contact. And she just had wished she had heard from him from time to time.

She had heard from Bailey that Andrew would come back to work in two weeks. And she would be mad at him if she wasn’t so relieved to hear that; after she had become more worried every day without hearing from him.

Meredith was looking through the room. All these people were happy for her; wanted to celebrate her Catherine Fox Award with her again. And still, somehow, something didn’t feel right. Maybe, her sisters were right, she needed a distraction more than she had thought; and maybe it really was time to move on.

She went over to Maggie and Winston who were talking to Amelia.

“So, you finally decided to join your own party?” Amelia said teasingly as Meredith got closer to them.

“You mean your party?” Meredith shot her a gaze, chuckling slightly, before greeting the rest of the group.

“Could you at least pretend to be happy to be here?” Maggie asked her.

“Why should she pretend to be happy?” Winston put the question in the room, which earned him a friendly smile from Meredith, and a dead glare from Maggie.

“I was here a few times. I heard enough to understand what’s going on.” He defended himself.

“See, he gets it.” Meredith said pointedly to her sisters, hearing Winston chuckle beside her.

“Please, Mer. Give this a chance.” Her sister pleaded her.

“Fine, but only because you said please.” She received two happy and triumphant smiles from her sisters. Meredith only shook her head, before letting her gaze wander through the room again.

Suddenly she heard Maggie again “Okay, I know what you need. You should ask Hayes out. Or just spend some time with him this evening.”

“I don’t need Hayes.” Meredith half whispered and half shouted, remembering just in time that all their coworkers were still there. But glaring at her sisters anyway.

“Okay. But you need to distract yourself.” Meredith was rolling her eyes at that. She knew herself that she couldn’t wait for Andrew forever. But was everything really already over? Probably, yes, otherwise he could have at least let her know that he was okay, couldn’t he? Meredith took a deep breath, before looking at her sisters again.

“Fine. But only when you stop to ambush me into parties or dates then.” She slowly made her way to Hayes, stopping in the kitchen for a moment to get something to drink.