Warning : im doing this so I can have a wiki page and yall can site this as a source
Lets begin
I was born on August 24th 2004, yes, im actually 16, Rejoice ladies, im legal now
I enrolled in Saint marrys school where I achieved a masters degree in pussinomics, I also received a gold medal for bench pressing 2 1982 Toyota corolas, At just 3 years old
At the age of 5, while I was in the barber shop getting my beard trimmed, I was watching tv and wizzadora came on, And she immediately became my first crush and to this day holds the title as the woman who gave me my first boner..... There's actually some truth to that statement
I then attended State Michigans school for Chad's, where my nickname was girthquake.... Because I was fat
At the age of 13 I decided to pursue my life-long passion of becoming a fat marcher
I then fought in Vietnam where my nickname was the magican because I could make whole ass villages disappear
Then I was accepted at Hogwarts So I could get my training to fight in the IRA's big hairy wizard division
"**Arvada kedarvra**"
"**CHOKEY ON THAT**"
Using the magical powers I learned at Hogwarts I was able to summon a class 6 tesim demon named "Dr.bright"
I thought that I had doomed the human race to destruction but it turns out he's actually harmless
My penis is exactly 1.3 inches long, this is cannon, this is set in stone, these are facts, the big pp meme is dead, cry more
In my younger years I got a little political but we don't TALK ABOUT THAT, WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT
Then a bunch of stuff happened with a racist dog but I don't really want to go into that.......
**you ruined my life, Ruined my life! They came here, put me away to jail and where were you? You were lying in your bed licking your balls and reading siege, That's what you we're doing, you were going on to Google on my computer and Typing in USSR execution and getting me put on a watch list, buddah, You know what's gonna happen now? You see all the cute little dogs in the street that you like? I'm gonna make sure they only breed with dogs of different breeds, that's right, dogs of different breeds, There's gonna be alot of mixed race puppies in the streets buddah, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, You little fucking racist**
.....
I invented smoking
Despite reports to the contrary I am in fact your dad
I then joined UKIP where I was involved in a passionate, steamy, Raunchy love affair with Joe Biden's (aka gaby). After some rumpy pumpy we would lie in bed, embracing eachother, And listening to passion fruit, And he would turn to me and say
"There isn't a single bot in the channel"
So I can confirm that this is all 100 percent true...by my standards
