Disarm / Rafe Cameron

03. Optimistic Pessimist

Layne stopped trying to hurt herself when Rafe and her parents would say something to her about her always having band-aids on. She'd never give a straight answer—it was easier than trying to make up some sort of lie. Maybe she could say she had a chronic illness that made her bleed from random, unprovoked cuts. She knows no one would believe her, but they also wouldn't question her otherwise. She was doing good for a long time—the last time she harmed herself was January. She was helping a Junior girl do the dishes at her apartment one night, and when she picked up a knife, she had the sudden urge to cut her finger. So, she did, and bled everywhere. Layne never spoke to the girl again—she was pretty the girl had told multiple people, since she hardly gained any more friends after that. Although, Layne wasn't exactly a sociable, optimistic person to begin with.

There was a slight hesitation before she decided to call her mom back, who answered after the third ring. Layne mindlessly tugged at the loose string on her bed comforter, until she heard Rory's voice from the other end. "Hello?" (She never understood why people said hello, in a questionable manner, when answering the phone to someone in their contacts list. Layne thinks its stupid.)

"You called me?" she grunted as she flipped to lay on her back on her bed, and stared back up at the ceiling. The moth was still fluttering about her room, as if it was trapped, and as if there wasn't an open window right there.

"Hello to you, too, Layne,"

Layne rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her forehead. "Hi mom,"

"Did you go to the Wreck, like I asked?"

Layne could hear the bustle of the surf shop on the other end of the line, and she wondered if Rory was having this conversation with her on the main floor. Probably. "Yeah, I went after breakfast. I got a form and Kiara said to come back tomorrow after I filled it out," she breathed, removing the phone from her ear to put it on speaker, and tossed her phone on her pillow while she went to pick Luna up from the other side of the room.

"Okay, cool. What are you doing now?"

"Uh—nothing, really," she spoke, and Rory craned her neck to try and listen. "Where are you? Why do you sound so far away?"

"You're on speaker, I'm just in my room,"

"What?"

Layne groaned, placing Luna back down on the ground, and she skit across to jump up on the window sill, basking in the sunlight that pooled from between her curtains, and stretch her limbs on top of her book shelf. Layne picked up her phone and placed it on her ear again. "You were just on speaker phone, I'm just in my room,"

"Perfect, that means you can come down to the shop for a bit,"

Layne threw her head back and practically stomped her feet on the ground. Part of her wanted to flush her phone down the toilet, while the other wanted to pretend they got disconnected, and their phone plan went haywire. She decided to avoid the latter. "Mom, why? I'll just see you when you get home,"

Rory sighed from the other side of the phone. "Me and your dad just have to work for a few more hours before we close. Then we can go out to dinner, as a family, like you promised me,"

Layne rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Actually, I didn't promise anything,"

"Layne Hetfield,"

She sighed, catching herself picking anxiously at the skin around her nails. She sat on her hand as a result. "Alright, fine, I'll be there in twenty," she didn't wait for her mother to answer before she hung up, tossing her phone back onto her pillow and moving to her closet. There were some dresses—mainly ones that were hand-me-downs from her mom or bought at the Goodwill—some of them were even a size too small when she got them, but were worn out to the point where it stretched enough to fit her. She hadn't worn a dress since the fall before, and part of her felt self conscious where she almost resulted in wearing a sweater in nearly ninety degree weather. But, she sucked it up and picked a floral one out that Marian had given to her when it was too big, and it was a strict no return policy from the store she bought it from. The tag was torn off, so Layne wondered if it was actually even purchased or given to Marian by her older sister. She had never worn it yet, and she worried it might be able to stand up on its own.