Chandler bings twin sister

Episode 1 season 1

"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!" Monica tried to explain.
"C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!" Joey exclaimed. I slapped him on the head hard.
"All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Chandler my annoying twin speaks up. I slap him on the head applying the same amount of pressure I used on Joey.
"Wait, does he eat chalk?" Phoebe asked.
"Phoebe no one eats chalk." I speak up. Hi I'm Alexander Bing.
"Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!" Phoebe answers.
"Pheebs not to be mean or anything but you choose the strange men." I speak up.
"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex." Monica speaks up after about five minutes.
"Mon that is a date." I answer.
"Sounds like a date to me." Chandler agrees.
"See Mon even my idiotic brother agrees that it's a date and he has sex almost every date he goes on." I joke.
"Hey I'm your brother no need to be mean." He sarcastically answers faking looking hurt.
"I can I have the right I'm your twin older sister I'm older by ten minutes." I reply chandler mimicking the last part.
The next day.
"Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked." Chandler decideds to randomly say.
"I remember this dream he told me last week." I speak up knowing what he is about to say. "Any one want any coffee I need to get back to work."
"Yeah a hot chocolate." Chandler speaks up.
"Right up." I answer.
"Hey Alex." Gunther starts.
"Hey Gunther what's up." I reply and start making Chandlers hot chocolate. Ross soon walks in.
"Hey Ross." I start handing Chandler his order.
"Thanks sis what would I do without you." He jokes.
"You would die without me I'm the one who gets you your beer." I sarcastically joke.
"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck..." Ross speaks.
"Cookie?" Chandler asks.
"Carol moved her stuff out today" I answer.
"Ohh." Joey exclaim.
"Let me get you some coffee." I speak to Ross getting some coffee for him.
"Thanks." He says once I handed him the drink. Thank god my shift just ended. I took of my apron and cuddled Chandler cause I was tired.
"Hey why can't you be like that towards me?" Ross asked.
"Because your annoying." She replied.
"So is she but I let her cuddle me because it relaxes the both of us." Chandler speaks up.
"Ooh! Oh!" Phoebe exclaimed.
"No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?" Ross complained.
"Fine! Be murky." Phoebe answered.
"I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy." Ross sarcastically says out of nowhere
"You really don't Ross you really really don't." I answer
"No you don't." Mon pipes up.
"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!"Ross yelled.
"Shout it louder Ross I don't think the guy from the top floor who always flirts with me heared you." I answer. Everyone looked at me.
"He flirts with you?" Chandler asks.
"Yeah and you flirt with girls all the time." I answer that shut him up.
"And you never knew she was a lesbian..." Joey randomly out of nowhere speaks up. Why am I friends with these people.
"No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?" Ross answers I nodded.
"My last boyfriend turned out gay I didn't know did I." I speak up.
"True you didn't." Joey answers.
"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?" Chandler speaks up.
"Chandler we don't need to know about your sexual fantasies ." I answer groaning.
"I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well." Ross says. I remember the call we got last night I had to answer.
"Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?" I speak up. "What I had to deal with your mother for three hours because your sister was in bed to buys to talk to your mother."
"Sorry." Ross apologise.
"Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" Joey started "Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!"
"What is it with you and women Joey your worse then chandler." I answer.
"I am not that bad." He answers.
"Whatever you cried last time a girl told you she wasn't interested." I laugh.
"I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!" Ross speaks up.
"You don't have to be because think about it this..." I didn't get to finish my sentence before someone walked in in a wedding dress.
"And I just want a million dollars!" Chandler says sarcastically I sat on chandler lap so I could see what's going on.
"You guys are cute siblings." Joey starts.
"Rachel?!" Monica asked the girl in the wedding dress.
"Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!" This weird looking women answered.
"Can I get you some coffee?" A women asked.
"De-caff." Monica said to one of the women that worked there. "Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and chandlers twin Alex, you remember her, and- you remember my brother Ross?" Monica introduced us all to her.
"Hi, sure!" The random girl named Rachel I remembered from high school.
"Hi." Ross said after Rachel. They tried to hug but Rosses umbrella opened.
"I thought you two were dating." Rachel speaks up.
"No just close siblings that's all even though I know about his sex life and it isn't healthy well nether is mine." I laugh putting my face into chandlers neck he hugged me harder.
"Did I say anything?" She asked.
"No you didn't it's just she came out of a relationship and turned out the guy was gay that's why he wasn't giving himself to her as much as he used to." Chandler explains.
"So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Monica asked.
"Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only two person I knew who lived here in the city." She explains.
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding." I joked Monica looked at me like I was crazy so I piped down and stayed cuddled to chandler. By the way I did you could tell I was sad because Chandler started rubbing his hand up and down my back.
"Oh Alex I'm so sorry." Monica apologies.
"It's fine it's just I'm not good in this situation when we talk about marriages unless it's Rosses because that's just like why me and that guy broke up so I relate to Ross." I explain she's nodds.
"Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..." Rachel speaks up.
At Monica's apartment.
"Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it." I asked watching a show in a different language
"Tuna or egg salad? Decide!" Chandler mimicked. I laughed.
"I'll have whatever Christine is having." Ross reply's in a deep voice.
"Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!" Rachel speaks up speaking to her dad. The girls hair was being held so hard I could feel it.
"If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off." Pheebs leet us know
"I feel how hard she's holding her hair it happened to me." I speak up.
"Why has anything bad happen it's always you and Ross." Monica asks.
"Don't know mon I've been asking myself since the day I meet you in high school." I answered.
"Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants." Chandler speaks up ignoring the fact I was almost pushed down the stairs and been held by the hair.
"I say push her down the stairs." I speak up.
"Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!" We all chant. She got pushed we all cheered.
"C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!" Rachel says.
"You can see where he'd have trouble." Ross replied.
"Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica." She reply's.
"Well, I guess we've established who's not staying here with Monica..." Monica reply's.
"Mon it's fine I will move back in next door to that creepy man." I reply.
"No your not living with next to that creepy man at all." Chandler speaks up.
"Then where am I goring to stay because Rachel is gonna live here." I answer.
"With me I have a spear room in my place." Ross speaks up.
"Thanks Ross I will stay with Ross." I answer making Chandler happy.
"Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!" Rachel speaks up to her dad.
Skip to Rachel breathing in a bag.
"Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things..." Monica speaks up for the living room where her Rachel and Pheebs. While me Ross chandler and Joey stand in the kitchen.
"Why do we get the kitchen when they get the living room." I ask.
"Yeah why do they get a comfy place. I'm tired stressed and need some cuddles from my sister." Chandler speaks up hugging me close.
"I'm all better now." We hear Rachel say.
"I helped!" Pheebs says walking into to the kichen.
"Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing." Monica tries to help Rachel which makes me laugh.
"And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot." Joey says flirting with Rachel I walk to him once I was out chandlers arms and slapped him across the head.
"Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day! And thanks Alex for slapping his head in." Monica says.
"What, like there's a rule or something?" Joey asked.
"Yes." I answer. I heared the door buzzer go off I walked yo to it.
"Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound." I say to the person at the over side.
"It's, uh, it's Paul." Paul the wine guy says from downstairs. Monica knew I dated him yet she's goring on a date with him.
"Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!" Monica panics. I don't listen I just walk away to the fridge.
"Who's Paul? And why she so mad about it?" Joey asked.
"Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?" Ross asked.
"Maybe." Monica reply's which annoys me more which causes me to slam the fridge door close.
"Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?" Joey asked.
"He finally asked you out?" Ross asked.
"I'm still here and we are talking about someone else I dated but it's not fine to talk about a guy or girl you lot date but it's fine for me why?" I asked walking over to the window.
"Yes!" Monica says ignoring me I groan.
"Well this sure is goring to be one of the reasons why I should consider not being your guys friends I have like nine hundred pages." I answered.
"Look it was three months ago." Monica answered.
"Three months isn't a lot mon." Joey answered.
"Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment." Chandler exclaimed walking up to me.
"Go away chandler you seem excited about her date more then you were when I went on dates with him I'm gonna be outside." I respond
"Rach, wait, I can cancel..." I heared Monica say. She would cancel for Rachel but not me what a wonderful friend.
"Please, no, go, that'd be fine!" Rachel answered.
"Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?" Monica asked Ross.
"That'd be good..." I hear Ross answered in a fake voice.
"Really?" Monica asked scared.
"No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!" Ross answered.
"What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot?" Phoebe asked none of us knew I walked back in and turned the tv on.
"Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. ...everybody, everybody, this is Paul." Monica introduced us all to him. I just sat watching the tv.
"Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!" Everyone said except me.
"Paul the dick as I call him." I snap getting up walking out and walked to see my homeless friend.
"Hey Alex what you doing here." He started.
"I could use some help." I answered.
"What do you need help with?" He asked.
"Well my friend is goring on a date with my ex boyfriend yet we broke up three months ago." I reply.
"Look Alex you need to sort things out with you and your friend because if you keep pushing yourself away from her because of that then your gonna loose her." He replied.
"Bobby look me and this guy were together almost four up years before I found him cheating." I honestly reply.
"Oh i didn't know that." He answered.
"It's fine bobby I'm gonna go thanks for the help." I answer.
"You know where I am if you need me." He replied.
"I do know where you are if I need you thanks." I continue.
The next day.
I slept in central perk for the night.
"Alex what you doing here?" Gunther asked.
"I had no place to go since my new roommate was mopping in our apartment and I don't want to listen to him moan to me and our friends and my old apartment well the room I stayed in well lived in got given away." I explain.
"Oh help me set up." He started.
30 minutes later.
The gang has been here for ten minutes yet I go unnoticed. Gunther took there order I just had to give it them. I always have to give them their drinks mainly because i know their orders of by hart.
"Of course it was a line!" Joey said as soon as I walked up handing them their drinks.
"Alex is that you?" Ross asked.
"No Ross it's your worst nightmare I had to stay here so I didn't have to listen to you mope around." I sassed back.
"Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?" Monica asked.
"Trouble in paradise. Thought so you wouldn't be able to spend more then four years with him like me." I said walking back.
"I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'." Ross said.
"I hate men! I hate men!" Monica said.
"And I hate you right now I hate all of you. I was missing almost 24 hours did you come and check to see where I was if I was alive if I wasn't in the hospital no you didn't because Monica is more important then me I know you slept with him he told me he said you were terrible." I answer. Showing her the text.
"Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe." Pheebs said ignoring me.
"Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" Monica questioned.
"Do I have some type of fake friends food because it seems like it. I thought our family couldn't get any worse but it has chandler know your like them." I answer walking away.
"All right, c'mere, gimme your feet." Phoebe starts doing something.
"I just thought he was nice, y'know?" Monica starts
"I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!" Joey jokes I had to laugh with him from the counter.
"Guess what?" Rachel asks running to me
"You got a job?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today." She replied.
"And yet you're surprisingly upbeat." I answered.
"You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!" She answered
"Oh, how well you know me..." I sarcastically replied.
"They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!" She reply's.
"How'd you pay for them?" I asked.
"Uh, credit card." She answered.
"And who pays for that?" I asked.
"Um... my... father." She replied. She sat down with the others I ignored them.
We were all in Monica's apartment I was dragged by Rachel .
"Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want." She tried to protest from cutting her cards.
"C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life." I answered.
"I know that. That's why I was getting married." She responded.
"Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time." Phoebe said.
"Thank you." She replied.
"You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel." Phoebe continued.
"The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'..." Ross said.
"All right, you ready?" I asked.
"No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!" She stated.
"You can, I know you can!" I answered
"I don't think so." She continued.
"Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything!" Ross said. Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.
"C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,..." I chanted,
"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..." We all chanted. She cuts one of them and they cheer.
"Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture..." She tried again.
"Rachel! That was a library card!" I responded.
"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.." We all chanted again.
"Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream." Chandler speaks for the first time.
"Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!" I said.
"Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch?" Monica asked Ross.
"No. No, I gotta go home sometime." Ross started.
"You be okay?" She asked him again.
"Yeah." He replied.
"I'm gonna crash at central perk again it's quite comfy on the couch." I spoke walking out. Chandler hasn't spoken one more word since then.
"No your not your ether crashing at mine or Rosses." Chandler finally spoke as soon as I got to the stairs.
"Why do you care I was at central perk last night besides I need to do some more cleaning to the place." I responded.
"Your my sister. I thought you went to Rosses then he said this morning you didn't but I remembered you had a shift today so I was goring to speak to you then." He replied his eyes getting puffy.
"No Chandler don't start that bs I'm not going to fall for it." I said while walking down the stairs.
"Alex trust me your brothers telling the truth." Rachel said catching up to me on the stairs.
"Well I will give him a chance." I smilie running to my brothers place.
"Yo guess who's here to part." I yell opening the door.