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FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

Craig's gang was currently having Saturday night where they watch movies and... Watch movies. They were having it in Craig's house, since everyone agreed to it. Clyde and Token was getting hungry, but since they were polite, they didn't ask Craig any food. Tweek drank all the coffee in his thermos and was about to get more. "C-Craig?" Tweek nudged Craig. Craig responded by nodding at him. "NNG! Y-You're gonna b-buy more coffee t-tomorrow, r-right?"

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

Craig and Token decided to to Tweek Bros. Coffee, since today was when Tweek would be working. "Hello, Mrs. Tweek," Token politely greeted to Mrs. Tweek. "Hi, Mom," Craig said while plopping himself on chair.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

"W-When will you g-give me b-back my book?" Tweek asked. Craig scrunched his eyebrows, "What book?" Tweek pointed at the book that was in Craig's hand. "But, it's mine," Craig said while looking at the book's title. "Ack! I-It has my name in it," Tweek explained while flipping through the book that had Tweek's name in his handwriting in the back of the book. Craig stood there and looked at the name, "Oh, yeah." Craig gave Tweek the book while flipping him off.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you.

"So, then you weren't potty trained," Craig explained. Tweek turn his head so he wasn't facing Craig while his face grew hot. Craig chuckled at Tweek's embarrassing moment.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' butt that left you.

Everyone would always back away from Tweek whenever he was walking. Currently it was in the hallway, and even Clyde and Token went with the crowd so it'll protect their reputation. Craig was the only friend to Tweek right this moment, but he ignores him most of the time. Because, he's too busy counting the people on his list that he hadn't beat up yet.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

Craig invited all his friends over for a group project. Magically, they're all in the same group because they're lucky ass fuckers. Clyde knocked on Craig's door, while moving back and forth on his feet while waiting for Craig to answer. Tweek looked at Clyde and Token for a second, and he opened the door, which is surprisingly not closed. "NNG! I-I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out.

Tweek was crying so hard from Cartman's words thrown directly at him. "Cartman is just a fatass," Clyde said while rubbing Tweek's back. Craig took off his backpack and handed it to Token, "Hold my thing." Craig walked calmly to where Cartman was standing and kindly poked his shoulder. Let's just say Craig got suspended.

FAKE FRIENDS: Hates it when you call after they've gone to bed
REAL FRIENDS: Asks what took you so long to call

"Tweek, no one calls at 12 AM, just go to sleep." Token rubbed his eyes before he hung up on Tweek. Tweek felt neglected when Clyde hung up on him, because that was the first number he saw. But, now Token? He decided to call Craig and after one ring, Craig answered immediately. "What took you so long to call me?" Tweek didn't know if he was still scared or if he wants to giggle.

FAKE FRIENDS: Has never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Has shoulders soggy from your tears.

Craig Tucker. The badass and boring motherfucker. Has ever cried? No. That can't happen. Only if people transformed into dogs (aha). The thought of that was just way too weird to Clyde and Token, so they don't focus on that. For Tweek? Some of his shirts are still stained with Craig's tears, since he decided not to wash it. Since it's a perfect thing to rub in Craig's face.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

South Park has grown up. They're no longer 13 or 17, they're 22. Which means no longer hanging out with each other, right? Clyde and Token moved on, so what's with the others? They moved on also. Except for Tweek and Craig, who still runs into each other's arm and hug every once in awhile. Like a fanfiction that it should be.

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