i'm at my breaking point. all of it is too much. it's a struggle every day to even breathe. i'm afraid. i'm so afraid. the fear strikes every inch of me and i become frozen. a part of me is dead already. the ice from the fear is slowly killing off every other part of me. the trauma, the pain, the guilt, the damn agony. it all consumes me. i am nothing. i am afraid. i am numb. i cant take it. i want to let my soul break free from this. i do not deserve it. did i anger the universe ? or is this just simply my fate ? am i destined to be like this forever ? or is this just a temporary punishment ? no matter the case, it is agony. i feel like i'm in the mere depths of hell screaming and reaching just for the emptiness to reach back and fill my soul more and more. no one hears my struggle. no one can see the pain past my smile. no one feels the pure loneliness i do. i'm a broken crystal. something once beautiful that was used and crushed over time. i am hurt. i am afraid. i am powerless. i am hopeless. i am lost. and i am alone.
