We could be lovers

January 25th, 2019: Stefani

It's funny how, when you think things are falling into place, life throws some crazy shit at you. And, that seemed to be my life.

I knew quite well that my relationship with Christian was an epic mistake, and everyone had told me so. But somehow, I tried to see only the good things, and the best one of all was that with him I wasn't alone. Looking at the endless lights from the strip, I realized that I couldn't marry someone just not to be alone, and that, his company didn't make me feel safe, quite the opposite actually.

"Are you coming or not?"
"I don't feel like going to the casino, Chris." I knew he was upset, I could see how his face changed from slight annoyance to pissed off in a millisecond. I saw his reflection from the glass, refusing to look directly at him.

"Are you staying just to talk to him, aren't you?"
"What are you talking about?"

"You daily phone calls. The ones you take at the crack of dawn hidden in the bathroom." I knew perfectly well what he was talking about, and for the first time, I saw him holding my phone. It wasn't like I was sneaking around to do something bad. I was just talking to a friend, my best friend. "He sent you a sleeping emoji. I guess it is your cue, honey." I turned around, looking at him for the first time that night. I tried to take my phone from him but he moved his hand before I could even get close. "You are not even going to try and hide it, are you?"
"He is my best friend, Chris. He is just saying good night."

"Right. Just your best friend." He slid my phone into his back pocket and sat on the couch behind him. "The best friend you have dreams about. The best friend you are crazy in love with. And the same best friend that would never give you the time of day." He let out a chuckle. "He has a girlfriend, dear. And if I may say so, she is way hotter than you. So, I don't think even for a minute that the guy would change a supermodel for you."

I was tired of all of this, of feeling trapped and used. I was tired of not being loved, but most of all, I was tired of being afraid of the person I should feel safer with. I was done, I had been done for a while, but it took me some time to find the strength to break an engagement for the second time.

"I am done, Chris."
"Lying? It took you a while."
"I haven't lied, Christian. I have always been completely honest with you. But I am done feeling trapped. So, this" I moved my hands signaling at both of us. "we, are over." I took off the ring and placed it in his hand. But before I was able to walk away he stood up and pinned me up against the glass, putting his forearm against my neck, making it hard for me to breathe.

I tried to move, I tried to kick him, but he was way stronger than me. I was glad to see the door swing open, to see Natali and Bobby coming in.

Within seconds, my security team had grabbed him and took him out of my room followed by a very pissed Bobby. Natali came running towards me, while I fell down sobbing. She grabbed my face and examined my neck, making sure everything was as ok as it could possibly be.

She cuddles me in her arms and rocked my gently until my sobs became sniffles. When I was calm enough I remembered my phone.

"He. He has my phone, Nat." she chuckled at my words, and I saw why they were funny. My fiancé tried to choke me when I tried to end things, and the first thing I asked for was my phone. But I didn't want him to have any kind of access to Bradley, and with my phone, he had just that. "I really need my phone, Nat."
"There are more important things right now, Stefi, like how are you doing? And what the hell happened?" I stood up just to see Bobby coming in, holding my phone.

"He is NEVER getting near you again. If he does I'll make it my life work to see him locked up for life. Are you ok, sweetie?"

I refused to answer any questions. I just grabbed my phone and locked myself in the bathroom.