The Story of Places and Things that May or May Not Exist

          The day was sunny. This story takes place in a world inhabited by strange creatures. Well, not really, but more or less. The grass and the trees are a faded yellow and blue. Perhaps because the denizens spent their free time painting the local flora. Perhaps it’s because it’s some kind of alternate dimension or something. Or perhaps it’s because it was created by a bored boy in school one day. Who can really say?

            But the color of the grass matters little. Unless your profession involves the study of grass, I guess. Then it would matter a lot to you, I suppose. What WOULD matter to a non-grass-color-researcher is the fact that there are very few humans living on the oddly colored planet.

            Each human that DOES live in the planet has a one-letter name and a superpower. You know, the kind of thing that a high school boy would perhaps find for a good story. But that could also be a coincidence. Also, in this world every word you see here is spelled correctly, and what you are reading is simply a different language that might be similar to another language that might or might not be called English. If you see what might be a misspelled word or grammatical mistake, it is only because in this world it would be spelled correctly or grammatically correct.

            The denizens of this world believe that a being from another planet or dimension controls every action and event that happens to them. They tend to cling to this completely ridiculous belief that is also simply completely illogical. But you know, whatever makes them happy.

            The most good-looking, intelligent, strongest, fastest, nicest, <insert and good adjective here>est person in the world is named L. L thinks he is the best person on the entire planet, which is somewhat ironic if you knew who this person was based upon, if in fact this person was based upon anyone that might live in the world where the people who supposedly control the lives of the few people on this planet. The planet was just named Htrae by the World Council just now, you see, just before they were murdered by an evil band of brightly dull colors. (The name has no relation to the word “Earth” whatsoever, but if you think so I guess you can think whatever you want, even if it is not true.)

            L was friends with Z, Q, R, and C.

            Q has the ability to turn invisible and stalk others around if she so desired. She also has the power to come back with witty comebacks as well as be sarcastic. C stole her power from L, which is the ability to teleport from place to place instantaneously. Z has the ability to tune out all sound and ignore those around her, even if they call her name several times to attempt to get her attention. R has the ability to read peoples thoughts so that she can eavesdrop on peoples dirty thoughts.

            L does not have a power because C stole his in a battle of epic proportions that may be brought up in a later time. Currently though, the world they lived in was being assaulted by a band of flying dolphins. They had created technology that enabled them to hold an infinite amount of air so that they could stay underwater forever. The tech went bad though and made them unable to hold their breath for a long time at all, making them unable to live underwater. They then developed the tools to fly so that they could live on earth, and decided to dominate the world in some evil mastermind plot that could be considered extremely stereotypical. The flying machines they created are cellular devices that run on peanut butter, so they must constantly consume it in order to keep in the air.

              The small group of friends was having a meeting in a small wooden cottage. Its windows were, for some unknown reason, made of pure moon rock and could not be seen out of. They all sat in chairs made out of stone and were very uncomfortable.

            “Why are these chairs made out of stone?” C asked, annoyed.

            “Because,” L explained, “the great Narrator wills it, and his will is law.”

            “He can’t give us better chairs?” Z inquired.

            “Hide the peanut butter!” Q exclaimed. Everyone thought she was just being random, but she was really being insightful and wise. I think that’s some type of irony or something.

            “We need bean-bag chairs.” R said.

            “I think I should get a throne!” C said.

            L shrugged. “I’d be fine with a computer chair.”

            “I want a rolling chair!” Z said. L thought this was very similar to a computer chair, but whatever.

            “I want to sit on a mountain of presents with little kittens running around and doing little kitten things!” Q decided.

            Well… the narrator decided to grant them their very strange requests, even though computers didn’t exist on that world. Everyone got their different types of chairs or, in one case, random mound of presents.

            L attempted to grab a nicely wrapped present. Q saw him before he could so much as touch it and yelled “Don’t touch my presents, boy, or I’ll cut you! Ask nicely.” L slowly withdrew his hand, looking hurt.

            “May I please have-“

            “No! You can get your own presents!” Q said with some anger, but mostly sarcasm.

            “Can I have a present?” C asked with wide, puppy-dog like eyes.

            “Yes, you may have one.”

            “But-“ L started.

            “Shut up, fool! You had your chance!” L looked down, saddened. Q rolled her eyes. “Fine, you can all have one. ONE!”

            C grinned as she unwrapped her present. It was a pair of cat ears. She placed them on her head and said, “Purr.”

            Z opened hers next. It was a small plush dinosaur. “I shall call you Henry the Dinolopolous.”

            L opened his next and frowned in disappointment. “There’s nothing in here!”

            “That’s what you get, fool!”