Broken (Dean x Reader)

Understanding

As we drive back to the bunker, I am silent. I know Dean is curious about what happened to my mom, but there's no way in hell I'm talking to him about it. I don't know he'd, look at me differently, most people did. But in a way I think Dean understood, he didn't try to ask me about it, even as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. What happened to my family was something I had left in the past, but when I saw that article it was like losing them all over again.

There's no way I can go on this hunt. As we pull into the bunker garage, I prepare to get out fast and run to my room where I can let out all of the tears bottled up inside, the kind that are embarrassing to share with other people.

But before I can, Dean grabs my arm and turns me around. Just when I assume he is going to ask me a cascade of unwanted questions, he pulls me into a hug, my head resting in the crook of his neck, and sways me back and forth slightly.

This is the kind of reaction I would expect from Sam, sure. But Dean, he has never been very good at comforting people. But as he rubs circles on my back my breathing evens, and I pull back, where he looks at me with sad eyes.

I notice the tear stained spot on his shirt, and in the strongest voice I can manage I sat "Sorry". Dean smiles and plants a kiss on my forehead, "We'll figure this out." I nod and we both go inside.

Sam of course wants to know what happened, and while I don't see it myself, I know Dean has given him a "not right now" look as I head to my bedroom. As I lay underneath the blankets, I think about my mom, and about how I could have saved her, and my dad, who could have saved himself. But most of all I think about my sister, who I will regret failing for the rest of my life.

Then my mind starts to wander to Dean. I know he lost his mom and dad, although he doesn't talk about it. But maybe he went through something similar, maybe he needed someone there for him. Maybe that's why he comforted me. Takes one to know one I guess. But nevertheless, I somehow feel safer around him now. Someone who used to be associated with ridicule and joking is now also associated with compassion and understanding. He still has his fair share of problems, of course.

But maybe we can help each other.