I'll Settle for You

MILES ~ Where Does Love Go From Here

"Look, I'm about to drive around and calm my nerves before I put my hands on you!" I told her honestly. "Be out of my house by time I get back!"

"This is our house, Miles! I am your wife; you can't just put me out!" She said bravely. I took a step toward her and she wisely stepped back.

"Be out when I get back!" I said menacingly through gritted teeth before turning around and walking toward the door.

"Miles please!" She cried, but I didn't turn around and I didn't stop. I was trying to keep my own tears from spilling. I was devastated and depressed, and I just had to get away from that house and that evil woman. The only stop I made before leaving out the front door was to grab a bottle of Conjure from the bar. I got in the car and cranked it up. Popping in Ruff Endz, I pulled out of the garage listening to Where Does Love Go From Here.

“I've been thinking to myself, what the hell I did wrong.

Always in a relationship that, that never last long.

Let me tell you a little story, about someone I met.

A situation so trifling that, that I'd never forget.

So I met this girl and, she seemed so right.

I got so caught up by, what was on outside.

As time went on, I really got to know.

That the girl I thought was an angel was nothin but a hoe.

My homie tried to warn me, but I was too caught up.

I started tripping on my best friend; I told him shut the fuck up.

I said "You don't know whatcha talkin' bout, this girl loves me."

But as quiet as kept, she was lovin' everybody else.”

I didn't want to talk to anyone; I wanted to get drunk enough to dull that pain in my chest. It was almost three in the morning, so drove to the closest park and took the cognac to the head. I don’t know how long I sat there drinking, but eventually the liquor was gone and with it, some of my anger. By the time I made it home, Naomi was gone. I don't really know how I truly felt about that. I was completely wasted, but the liquor didn't exactly dull the pain as much as I'd hoped. I still wanted to kill her and whoever this Chad person was, but thankfully I was too drunk to go anywhere. It was only by the grace of God that I'd made it safely home.

I walked into my empty bedroom, and instantly missed my wife. That is until I thought of her being with someone else. Damn it! How could she do that to me? I was a good man; why did she throw away everything we had? I fell into the bed and cried myself to sleep. As much as I hated her, as much as she'd hurt me, I still loved her. Where does love go from here?

I woke up the next morning with a massive hangover. Thanking God that it was a Saturday, I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I figured that a hot shower would make me feel better, but it didn’t. Yes, my head didn’t hurt as much anymore, but my heart still hurt like a mofo.  I didn’t know how I would make it through this. It felt as if someone had ripped my heart straight out of my chest, and that someone was the person I’d promised to love, honor, and respect. I’d never felt so much pain. I didn’t think it could get any worse, but then I thought of her actually sleeping with another man, and the pain doubled. I had to sit down because it seemed like too much for me to bear. How could she do this to me? Why would she hurt me like this?

When the first tear fell, I quickly wiped it away. I wasn’t about to cry for her trifling ass. She broke our vows, she betrayed our marriage! In that moment, I hated her. I hated her with a passion! I’d never known so much detestation, so much animosity for a person, but it was spreading through my body like a malignant cancer. She was a horrible person, and I never wanted to see her face again! I thought as I threw a framed photo of her into the wall hard enough that the glass shattered. Just like she’d shattered my heart.