Journey through normality

Intro

I am Ilith, a 16 year old boy. And just like every other person, I have a dream, a vision.

"I wish I was in University rather than school. Just the way it's depicted in media. Kind of magical, you know?"
"No, I certainly don't know. You are already bad in school, what makes you think you would be any better in Uni?" He, Julian, was right, I am not the best when it comes to school, but isn't that exactly what I am trying to change? My biggest problem is that I simply don't participate in class, but I had a change of mind recently, and I will change. I know it!
"You know, I changed. I will actually participate in class now! Just wait and see!"
"Isn't that the exact same thing you said last year, and the year before?" He is right again. He always is. But he doesn't know what i am going through. 
"Have you ever heard of the Enneagram of personalities?"
"No, and I don't know if I want to. Sounds like horoscopes or something like that"
"It's way better than stupid Horoscopes. Like how is my date of birth going to change my personality? The Enneagram contains 9 different types of personalities, with each person basically belonging to one of them. And then if you grow as a person, your personality switches to a different one, so to speak."
"That sounds so stupid. Why do you believe that stuff while hating on horoscopes?"
"I told you already, horoscopes are based on your birth date which is completely irrational. But like trust me, when I read into the Enneagram i perfectly saw myself reflected as one of those personalities. And like, I even realized that in the past i was exactly like a different one. And those two personalities are connected basically. Like if you fall into stress as the one, you turn into the other. It is so crazy how accurate it was!"
"Dude. That is the most stupid thing i have heard all day. How can you believe any of that shit?"
"Because its true, trust me! I was a 5 and turned into a 7!"
"No you did not. You know what you are? You are a cherry picking idiot!" He said this as I stopped moving.
"But at least I am a hopeful cherry picking idiot!" I shouted after him as he kept walking.

It is said that if you lose one of your senses, like your eyes, the others will improve. That you can distinguish between more smells for example. I am a great observer and listener. But those abilities come with a price. I lost a different sense.
I don't feel the world around me. Whenever I touch something, I feel nothing. Whenever someone touches me, I can't feel them. I am completely isolated from the outside world, my inside is a mess. I have so many thoughts, so many feelings inside of me, but they are stuck inside. I can't feel the world, the world doesn't know me. 

My dream is to find myself. My dream is to open up. This is my journey.