Romantic Entanglements

Introduction

January 6th 2016 a hot summer night in Sydney, Australia. New Years Week - Yet here I am standing on the balcony alone. I feel the warm breeze brush against my skin. I hear all the people in the streets drinking and having fun. I look up to the grey sky and wonder why God put me here. I sigh heavily and walk back into the dark apartment. My red nightgown lights up the room. I lay on my bed like a star. 'I remember when he'd be here every night. Having a warm body next to you at night makes you feel safe' I say to myself. I look down at my husband Julius's dead cold body and realise the punishment of my entanglements. 'I remember when the thrill of living two lives was like a drug that lasted forever, Now it's pain tattooed in my mind, I think aloud... that got my husband killed.' I pull the sheets on myself and put Julius's arm around my waist. I try to sleep but my tears are running across my face and sweeping the air from my lungs. I grab Julius's hand and kiss it 'I'm sorry' I whisper in a stutter while moving closer to his frozen body. I close my eyes and the moment repeats over and over. The moment the small silver bullets collided with his brain, I could see his fear and pain, all he wanted was a quiet life in the city, but I wanted more. As much as I loved Julius had to let him go. He was innocent but as a woman, my love wasn't enough to keep him safe. I blamed Leo for everything. Leo gave me all I could ever want. Leo made me more than just happy. He taught me things, he made me laugh like no one else could. Leo took me places, showed me things, gave me things money can't buy. Leo was a temptation from the devil. I fell into his trap but he was so irresistible. My entanglement with Leo was never-ending and toxic. As much as I hated him and blamed him for the death of my beloved husband, My body craved him. Every-time we ran into each other the sexual tension grew stronger. Each time I'd end up in his bed doing everything he said. The day after we'd go back to being strangers. Leo had a hold on me that I couldn't shake, Maybe it was his deep husky voice, maybe it was his dark brown eyes that I got lost in. Or maybe it was his mentality, could've been his seductive fit body. For all I know it was his performance in the bedroom and the constant craving I felt to have the warmth of his body pressed against mine, engulfing me completely, leaving me helpless but needing more. The way he can make me feel like the most important woman in the world and then make me feel worthless. As toxic as it is, it was addictive and I needed more.