Unlabeled [Baguio Series #1]

43

"I am not trying to make a fool out of you. Whoever hurt you before, that you lost all the trust to everyone, even to yourself, is a complete asshole!"

I laughed. Hindi na ako sumagot. Ilang sandali lang ay naramdaman kong nahiga na siya sa tabi ko at binalot kaming dalawa ng kumot.

"Travis..." I called his name in my sleepy voice.

"Argh," I heard his frustrated sigh. "What, Mary?" he moved.

"I really did miss you," I said.

He chuckled. "I know. And I missed you too, damn much."

"Thank you for those euphoric days in Baguio. It's such a special moments of my life I could never, ever, forget, how much I tried."

I felt his palm on my face. "Don't forget, then. It was special to me too. No one made me feel that comfort you gave me there. It was only you that makes me...at ease. I would sacrifice everything just to have it back."

I sighed. "And I want you to know that... I am not sorry for leaving."

"What?"

His thumb brushed in my cheek. I held his hand on my face as I opened my eyes, I saw his face, few inches away from mine. I smiled at him.

"Ayaw kong maging rebound."

Umiling siya. "You never were... you're never a rebound to me."

"At ayaw ko rin na maging rebound kita."

He smirked. "I don't care, as long as I am with you."

"You deserved more than that," I told him. "You're a good man. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Umalis ako kasi alam kong may nararamdaman din akong kakaiba sa iyo, at alam kong hindi tama 'yon..."

"Mary..."

I smiled. "Natatakot akong baka overwhelmed lang din ako sa presence mo, kaya bago pa lumala ang lahat... umalis na ako. I can see that you're so happy with me, I am afraid to see that you'll lose that happiness once you realized that it wasn't really me that you want. Ayaw ko na nang hindi sigurado. Pagod na ako sa ganoon."

Remembering how Gian said that he's never sure of everything with me, back then, makes it so hard for me now with Travis. Ayaw ko na nang ganoon.

Umiling siya, kasabay ng pagsinghap niya. "Mary, hindi. Nandito nga ako, hindi ba? Hindi pa ba sapat na pruweba iyon, na totoo 'tong naramdaman ko at hindi panandaliang saya lang?"

I almost laughed at myself.

Ang kapal ng mukha kong sabihin sa kan'ya ito ngayon samantalang alam ko naman na ngayon sa sarili ko kung anong sagot.

"Hindi ba tayo magsisisi?" tanong ko.

He sighed. "Mas magsisisi tayo kung hindi natin sinubukan. Mary, please..."

I sighed. Hinawakan ko ang mukha niya, katulad ng ginawa niya.

"Do I deserve you?" I asked.

"You deserve better, but I will try to be the best...for you."

I chuckled. "I mean, do I deserve someone like you? Ito lang ako, oh. Simpleng tao lang ako. Hindi ka nagsasabi pero alam ko sa sarili kong mayaman ka."

"I'm just an employee like you, Mary. Don't say that."

"And you're... you're too good for me. Ang daming maganda d'yan. Hindi naman ako—"

Hindi ko na naituloy pa ang sinasabi ko nang maramdaman ko ang labi niya sa akin. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at hinalikan siya pabalik. Nangingilid ang luha ko sa dami ng nararamdaman ko. Kahit kailan ay hindi pa ako naiyak nang dahil sa saya, pero dahil sa kan'ya...nararanasan ko na iyon... at natatakot na ako.