Bad Habits

⚬ chapter seventy-one

Ronnie can sense my nerves because she links her arm in mine. "I know you're nervous, but you're going to miserable for the rest of your high school experience if you let this consume you."

Another reason why I should move back to Washington. But, I keep that thought to myself because I still haven't really told Ronnie that I'm seriously considering moving back. Obviously, I still haven't made a decision, but it's getting harder to be here and see the guy I love struggle to even look me in the eye. It's physically painful to the point where I can't even focus on school anymore.

I know I probably sound so fucking stupid and desperate and ridiculous for acting this way over a boy and potentially uprooting my life because he broke my heart. But he's not just a boy. I don't know how seriously I can put to words that I genuinely saw us spending the rest of our lives together and not in some stupid high school couple bullshit way.

We walk towards the field and Ronnie immediately darts towards the alcohol. I instead make my way toward the open bleachers and find a spot near the middle top because it gives me a good view of everyone and because I'm not so interested in socializing. I pull out my pack of cigarettes and set it down next to me and pull one out, thankful for the warmth it provides me. It's mid-April, but the breeze is still prominent and chilling. I keep a close eye on Ronnie as she makes herself a drink and finds her way over to a group of boys, effortlessly grabbing every single one's attention.

I pull the cigarette down from my lips and notice Vee make her way up towards me on the bleachers. She's wearing tight black jeans and a fitted red top, accessorized with, of course, a black and gold gucci belt. As she makes her way up, she has a smile fitted perfectly to her face and it looks genuine and I begin to understand the need of everyone around her to please her. It's probably so rewarding to make her happy because she glows when she is.

"Hey Spencer," She says, stopping a few steps down from me so we're at eye level.

"Hey Lennox," I reply, wondering what the hell she's doing up here talking to me at a party where everyone can see us talking.

"Got a cigarette?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Did I get you addicted or something?"

She laughs and I watch as her hair lightly flies back with the wind. "Don't worry, I still think it's gross," She replies. "But you and me smoking cigarettes together at a party ought to start some drama and it's getting a little boring for me to hear everyone only talk about you all day."

Classic. Vee loves her drama. This time I laugh and hand her a cigarette and my lighter. Even though Vee puts on a front, I know that she's secretly doing me a favor and trying to get the school talking about something other than me and Greyson or me and my past. Might as well get them talking about me and Vee. That'll shake things up a bit.

She comes up and takes a seat next to me, handing me back the lighter as she pulls the cigarette away from her lips. She clearly picked up on it the last time I taught her because it looks like she's done it a hundred times before. I notice people start staring at us sitting smack in the middle of the bleachers smoking cigarettes and laughing together. It must look fucking hilarious.

"I bet everyone thinks we're shit talking Greyson," She says, leaning back and prompting me to do the same.

"Little do they know," I reply.