The Other Side Of Friendship

Chapter 23

''I hope you're not mad at me''. She broke the silence.

''You're leaving?'' I perplexed at her wishing for a denial in her response as my heart began beating heavily. I wanted a better summer with her.

She smirked gently at me and sighed out loudly shrugging her shoulder. ''Doesn't feel like summer here anymore.'' She said slowly walking in and the guilt kicked on my stomach instantly.

It took six years for me to be in her embrace again and all I did was feed her my emotional disorders which never existed before.

And then the realization hit me again. It all began with Alexis' entrance when Gulf start reacting sensitively, anger hovering every new second, sending me all those mixed signal which unstabled my emotions immensely.

''I can't believe you're leaving already....I  really thought this could be the best summer in six years and I don't know what went wrong.'' I said sincerely and meaningfully.

She shoved her hands through her hair with an uneasy slight smile and fixed her eyes with mine.

''Who can we blame?'' Her deep sultry voice came softly.

''Who can I blame.''

''The one infront of you.'' She smirked.

''That's just fatous isn't it.'' I snorted at her petty answer.

''No, it's not.'' She asserted  ''So, How does it feel being betrayed by your bestfriends?'' She asked next joining her eyebrows and it transfixed my entire senses.

What does she mean?

Wait, what? Was she pretending all those days? How did I possibly think that she forgave me and Gulf just like that? But I did not want to believe that she could ever do something like that.

''All I wanted was to let you all taste your own medicine. And since Mandy's probably crying her eyes out, because Gulf broke her heart, it's a fair play.''

No. I did not want to believe even a single word she said.

My heart shattered, hopes crashed and I stood there in dismay wondering whether she was still the person whom I considered as 'bestfriend'.

''You're joking.'' I told her feeling astounded although I knew she was not.

''No, I'm not. But believe me, the pain she's going through isn't even half of what I went through.'' she continued sharply and her calm face soon began to aghast, ''I actually just saved her from a major heartbreak if you ask me.'' She said  in great irritation while the little sense I had began to lose.

It can't be true. I protested

Did I think so less about her struggles? We were so young when all of that happened but the way she held the grudges, even after so long made me question myself. Were emotional abuses this hard to forget?

''Alex.'' I gasped not knowing what to say. Her face all desolate, burning hot with anger while her eyes filled with extreme sorrows. She looked horrified.

''But I never meant to hurt you and Gulf.'' She slowly added, ''I played it safe. Gulf is just being a normal seventeen old boy who is afraid to lose his bestfriend if he shows how he feels about you.'' It made me more senseless, ''I can see right through your eyes that you like him just like he does. You're just too blind to see all of it.'' She concluded.

But no. My innerself battled. I could not have liked Gulf. She was wrong..very wrong. Or was she?

''I guess I did my part okay.'' She cooled down swiftly and took a deep breathe, ''Maybe when I come this winter, we'll have a better holiday.'' concluded she gently and began to walk towards the door.

It felt so wrong but my heart ached to just watch her slip away, without even hearing out what I had to say. I wanted to get everything out of my chest but I did not know what to say.

''What about us then, Alex? Was it all just a lie?'' In the midst of my bewilderness, I said aloud and it even surprised me. I did not know since when I have started to think about 'us' as if we had something serious.

She stopped and looked back at me from the door way, her eyes gently gazing at me.

''You were so empty, Mew and I filled in right there but believe me, it won't last long.'' My heart throbbed at her words..kind or cruel, I could not figure. ''Now, I can go back and rekindle with Jared while you can forget all about it and start over with Gulf.'' smiling she took a pause. ''He just needs a little care and you're the right person to do that. I love you guys.'' She opened the door and walked out. ''Goodbye.'' bade she from the door.

''I'm gonna miss you.'' I said, still lost in words.

''I'll miss you too.''

Then the door closed distancing me away from her.

I wanted to ran out and engulf  her into a hug, begging her to explain all of it but I was too delusioned to move.

I ran to the window and through the glass panes, I saw Alexis throwing her bags  into the car and then I felt it right there ; the agony and the pain of looking at someone disappearing from my life; someone I valued.

Her words, ''It won't last long'' played repeatedly inside my head and I know she was wrong all along.

''But I Love you Alex.'' Finally I whispered aloud as the car drove away into the far distance leaving me all alone.

I guess we were all just lost children, trying to find a friend, trying to find our way back home, not knowing where to go.