The Other Side Of Friendship

Chapter 18

I bewildered whether old relationships were always meant to break for things never stayed the same like we wanted to. There had been no doubt that we were bestfriends, that we knew each other too well but we were also like the friends that took each other for granted.

And I realized it was not just Gulf or Alexis to blame. I had been the one to blame as well. I had been the one with an unbreakable wall around me, making sure that no one enters it without my permission. Could it be possible that I had pushed my friends too far while trying to maintain the formal friendship that we once shared? Was I to blame for making Gulf uncomfortable that he no longer wanted to spend time with me? Or was it my fault that I had kept too many secrets?

''Feeling better?'' suddenly Alexis' voice interrupted me from my whistful thoughts and  joined me outside.

''Is he okay?'' I asked trying to lighten the mood.

''He's sleeping.'' answered she.

''I hope he'll be fine.''

''Don't worry about that.''

''What about your mom? Is she going to be okay with a drunk Jared? ''

''She'll be cool with it. She already knows''

"Ah, that's cool. I'll leave now then and I am sorry for ruining the night.''

''It's really not your fault, Mew.'' she said taking a deep breathe and glanced at me. ''So what happened?'' She asked again, this time a bit more serious. I felt something strange in her, all of a sudden. The way she looked at me did not feel right nor the tone she used was friendly anymore. It was in fact a little vague.

''Do you really wanna know that much?'' I asked sighing out a sarcastic chuckle while my instinct warned me about the different aura I was exposed to.

''I don't wanna be shut out even this time too, Mew.'' She asserted and it was the moment I noticed her disappointed deep sultry voice.

Her statement made me realize that once again, Gulf and I have unknowingly blocked her again. Therefore, to keep our friendship strong and healthy, I decided to tell her.

''Jason and Gulf are very close friends and Liam is Jason's big brother. I guess he just got mad because he didn't know about it...It's not my fault you know. It's his job to know but now he's accusing me of disappointing him..'' Before I completed, within a blink, she hugged me and made me turn at her. My whole body turned stiff as she suddenly crashed her lips on mine.

I went exceptionally point black. My whole body frooze and I felt as though blood stopped flowing inside my veins. My heart palpitated but the idea of  her soft lips gently carrassing with mine made me vulnerable. As much as I hated to admit it, it felt good.

Her hands around my neck and my back, pulling me closer towards her gently, closing the spaces between us, developing a cozy environment, all felt too good to be true. As I closed my eyes, I felt the serenity and the comforts within her presence.

Even though a part of my mind screamed it was wrong, it still felt so right once my lips began moving in uniform with hers. I could not resist her nor the lavender scent from her body. My fingers were tangled at the edge of her hair strands as I played with it which deepened our kiss more. My heart fluttered and my entire body turned warm and relaxed as I felt her soft tender skins over my body.

The day had been strange, so strange that I got confused on how to even began. It had been a long tiring day but I never expected that I would end up kissing Alex when she already had... ''Jared" I gasped out stopping myself from the madness I was in and quickly distanced away from her.

Within moments, guilt ate me up but she reacted calmly and looked at me. I became quite embarrassed to even faced him as Gulf's words played in repeats in my head. ''I thought you were different but you are just like everyone else.'' That was what Gulf told me and it seemed true. I had indeed became one of those easy person like Gulf has accused me off.

''Mew...'' Alex called me out but I kept walking unsure of how to react. ''Mew.'' suddenly I heard footsteps behind me and then felt her hands on my wrist, stopping me. She then made me turn around and met my desolate face.

''I....'' She stammered.

''It's okay, Alex. Don't worry. It's not your fault. I'm sorry'' I hastily cut her off unable to look into her eyes.

''What are you sorry about... It's me who should be, but I'm not. That's something I've wanted to do for a while now.'' cooly she said shoving her hands into her front pockets. Her unemotionality swiped me off my feet for I thought she was the romantic one. I wondered what she actually meant. ''I really did wanted to do that for a long time.'' She repeated again with mere sincerity and it made me happy.

But every good word she said made me more confused while guilt and shame rocked my body for Jared's pretty face kept reflecting in my head. And the fear that, my friendship with Alex could never be the same anymore haunted me. Besides, the realization that she was not entirely sober made me hate myself for becoming so vulnerable at her touch and the fact that I proved how easy I was. She was my bestfriend and bestfriends were not supposed to kiss one another. Why did I kiss her back? I muttered in agitation silently.

''I need to go Alex'' I whispered weakly.

''You know this doesn't ruin our friendship.'' She reassured herself and I.

''I know.'' I murmured.

''Mew....''

''I really wanna be left alone for now, Alex. Believe me, I loved that kiss but I need to go".

Note:
Not yet edited. Kindly do excuse.