I looked out of my window, only to see the sun setting and my neighbors, the Lowell siblings, running inside after their daily run around the neighborhood. I always admired them. They seemed perfect, with a daily schedule that started at 8 am and ended at 9 pm. Holland, the oldest, was turning 19 soon and was attending Dartmouth. She was as perfect as it could get. An ivy student, someone with friends to keep her occupied for days and a family that made her this way. I always wished to be like her, ever since we moved here eleven years ago. Her blonde hair and blue eyes, fair skin and skinny build, it was what every guy wanted. After graduating high school last year, I tried my best to accomplish that look. I lost weight, changed my entire wardrobe and yet, I felt lonely. My best friend, and well, only friend, Myra told me I looked like a new person. If I really was, then why was I still treated like I was invisible?
When I decided to take a gap year I thought I would meet new people, find myself on new adventures. Unfortunately, all I do is stay home, everyday, wake up at 2 pm and stay on my computer for hours. The last time I left my house was... Pathetic. I can't even remember.
The only thing I found myself good at was coding and anything computer related. I consider it to be one of the only skills I have, other than failing at everything. It all started in the summer of 2015. I was 14 and my town was preparing for a snow storm the next morning, yet, my high school refused to give us a day off. My cousin Bella was staying with us at that time. I don't remember much about her other than she was a genius. She was kicked out of her college that year for corrupting her professor's files to change her D to a B. To others she was a misfit and a disgrace, someone who used their skills to harm others rather than help. I didn't think this, not for one second. That day, she managed to change our school's web page heading; 'Hoboken district schools open on February 7' suddenly read 'not open'. Was it bad that that day I knew what I wanted to for the rest of my life?
I've never hurt anyone. I try to help others.
For the last 6 years, hacking was the only thing that brought me happiness. It filled the hole my parents left in my heart when they left. I never really knew them; I lived with my grandmother for most of my life. My mother, last I had heard of her, was gone. Gone to try and live a better life for herself, somewhere where I wouldn't be. I guess a lot of people expected me to spiral, but I don't think I have. My grandmother, she was the one who kept me as focused as I could get, trying to keep me from losing the grains of sanity I had left. All I want right now is something to do to help her, a thank you for what she's done. An 82 year old shouldn't be taking care of a teenager, but she still does. This is why every night, I look out, hoping that the next day, by some miracle I'll have the chance to repay her.
