𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 | 𝒋𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑. 𝟐𝟒

"Hey." we simultaneously said. A short awkward laugh followed before I watched him scratch the back of his head and scrunch his left eye in thought.

"So... I knew you wanted to be left alone to process stuff - did it like - work or...how are you feeling?" he asked with an agonising amount of uncertainty. It was awful since I was just as uncertain about my answer.

"Yeah it-it kinda helped I just didn't know to face everyone I guess..." I drifted off.

"Well I mean, no one's here to judge you or anything they feel just as bad...cue the we're all in this together shit" he commented and I cracked a smile, which evidently made him happier.

"I guess but...I'm still just the outsider of it all...really starting to feel it now - but enough about me I uh - what about you?" I asked back and he seemed disappointed. The fact that I felt like an outsider didn't sit right with him - but come on, of course I was.

They were the group beloved by the fanbase, sure some of them got in trouble a few times but majority of the fans would happily let the cast run them over with a car and they'd say thank you.

"I'm just - tryna stay off all the apps. That's what this job has taught me I guess, just to not let that stuff into my mind, unless it needs to be addressed, otherwise it's like I can pretend to live in bliss" he detailed and it was like I smiled mentally but I didn't have the energy to show it.

I hated that I felt this way, but when he said that he only went on social media when he needed to address something, but the bullying I was receiving wasn't a trigger for that...it stung for a moment.

"Adeline, that's what you gotta do too okay, we just need to let it simmer down and ignore it all - "

He walked closer towards me but instinctually I took a step back, he went doe-eyed with subtle pain.

"I know but, I don't know if I can do what you guys do, especially since it's about something so personal, they're not attacking me for some shit from my past or wrongly accusing me of assault" I said with a stressed laugh. Josh winced slightly and I cleared my throat, yeah we don't need to talk about that right now.

"Anyway - I mean for that at least, the reason they got so mad at you is because you're a good role model and they respect you...they have high expectations from what they've seen so having that bubble burst is what got them angry. But with me it...they barely knew I existed I just made them laugh on Twitter but barely shared my face, but they've decided to hate me based on nothing and I can't prove myself, how you had to. They just hate me for associating with you - for apparently lying about secretly knowing you to get closer to you?" I ended loudly and ended up running pressing my fingers against my brows from the extended rant.

"Well then...you can speak up for yourself - you owe no one an apology but just say something! You've done it before don't forget how much you loved sticking it to Jordan" he stressed and I laughed humourlessly. I then gazed at the painting of two people holding hands behind him; one of those generic artworks for each hotel room. But damn did it feel painfully meaningful all of a sudden.

"Okay but speaking up to a manipulative ex-boyfriend compared to at least a hundred thousand fangirls online who have already ganged up together AND have free reign to say whatever they want under an anonymous username?" I asked in one breath and his deflated sigh showed defeat, "yeah I don't know about those odds."

"Listen, Adeline" he began and he seemed like he was about to walk up to me again, but then he remembered what I did last time and he just ended up wringing his fingers on the spot. I hated that I was the reason he was feeling this way. But I felt the same, almost worse.