The sun in our darkest days

That whore...

* Alyssa's POV *

We were walking around by twos, so of course I picked Evan, Kellin picked Vic, Jack picked Alex, and Haley rode off on Austin's back. Evan and I walked into some random store just looking around talking well, he's mostly doing the talking.. that one girl just kind of killed it. I don't know I just feel like shit compared to her, we aren't even dating so Why wouldn't he pick the pretty girl? I'm just.. this weird creation of- probably Satan. I feel like he deserves her she's prettier and probably more appealing to be seen with. I felt Evan squeeze my hand to get my attention, I turned but didn't look into his eyes and smiled weakly but trying my best to cover it and turn back forward, that is until he pulled me away and into a empty aisle and began talking "What's wrong? " He asked concerned. I Glanced in his eyes and seen concern, worry fill his brown, dark eyes. " N-Nothing " shit. Well that gave it away.

"Tell me, I don't like seeing you like this it worries me lyssa. " He said gently but worry filled his voice. I sighed deeply and walked into his arms, wanting them to wrap around me so I can feel safe and warm, and he did exactly so, he hugged back onto me tightly. " That girl was so much prettier than me, and I'm just this. I don't get it.."I trailed away. He stared off somewhat then snapped back into reality "Alyssa. You are so much more than what she is, your genuine and I love that ,your small and adorable and I love that and I..I-I love you " He said his eyes widen surprised by what he said to me but relaxed because he felt like he just got something huge off his chest. Which it definitely was, I felt my eyes start to water.. does he really feel that way? Am I that special? My face is red from blushing uncontrollably. I feel so.. loved? I could tell he started getting scared, he was physically shaking and his eyes told it all, they were filled with fear, hope, and love with a bit of concern. I had to show him I.. I love him to. So I grab him and pull him into me our lips crashing, it took him a little to understand but as soon as he did he kissed back, we soon brake the kiss laying our foreheads together breathing deeply, I stared into his deep chocolate orbs, "I love you to " I said gently, kissing him softly, he kissed back immediately. " Alyssa, will you go out with me? " He asked shyly blushing a little, I nodded my head fast, I can't believe it. I had a big smile that couldn't be wiped off by nothing, "Yes " I squeaked and hugged him tightly snuggling into his chest, I'm so happy. I fell for my best friend. I'm in his arms, and I feel like nothing could happen. I don't need anything but Evan, he all I need. I pulled away, seeing Evan's adorable smile. But when I looked behind him I seen, her. Name tag reading Emma. Well I guess I was wrong, this smile could get wiped off, She works here?! She was glaring at me telling me to get away from him or else. Evan noticed my change in emotion and behavior, he tried to hug me but I pushed him away, I seen hurt flashed threw his eyes and rejection. It made me break inside to see his eyes glimmer with that type of emotion caused by me, I nodded my head behind him when he looked it all clicked. He understood. I walked away, heading to the back by the bathrooms. That's when Emma shortly showed up after with her snarky attitude. " Let me start off, your really ugly and pathetic for him, he needs a real woman. Such as well.. me duh, I can benefit his uh- sexual wants and obviously be good at it and he'll want more, so just go I don't know kill yourself or something I'm sure he won't miss you once he has me sweetheart. " She explained. Well that.. hurt, like a bitch. My eyes started watering.. she smirked. No. I will not cry in front of her. I sniffled trying to suck it all in, "T-thats not tr-true" I stuttered. She rolls her eyes at me, "why else does he flirt with me when your not around? " She said innocently. Wait.. what? I feel like I'm breaking, inside and out. I let a few tears slide down my cheeks. " N-no he wouldn't.. I know Evan.." at least I thought I did.. "You really believe he 'loves' you? " She asked. I nodded slowly unsure anymore. She made a tisking sound and shook her head, "it's all a lie, made just for you to believe. " She told me slowly like I was a child, she made me feel so small compared to her. " But-" I started "No buts, I know what's best for Evan and it's obviously not you, so you need to run off and play in the middle of the road. " She stated looking at her nails. Maybe she'd be better for Evan, she's prettier, better than me. Evan would be better off without me at all, I way him down, constantly worrying him, he needs her not me, her. I nod in understanding, she smiles "Thank you, you know now. " I back up slowly hitting the bathroom door, " I'm just going to g-go to the b-bathroom" I said trying to keep it in but letting more tears lose, she nods and walks off. I run into the bathroom and breakdown, I sit in the corner rocking back and forth pulling at my hair, sobbing. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror, not impressed with what I see, I cry harder, I am pathetic. I punched the mirror breaking into millions of broken shards. I can see my reflection in all of the broken pieces, showing me I'm also so very broken. I grabbed a shard and sit back against the wall, I spin the shard around my finger and my hand like it's dancing. I put my head against the wall looking at the ceiling, did he really lie to me about everything? Tears flooded my cheeks again, I breathed in sucking it all up now becoming very angry, how could he play with me like that? How could he lie so easily to someone he knew long? When did he start lying to me? I felt warm liquid go down my arm and a stinging sensation in my Palm, I look down and see crimson color pour out from my hand, I've been subconsciously gripping the glass shard so tightly. I smile weakly at the dark, pretty color. I threw the shard at the wall in front of me, I stared at it seeing the blood all over it. I look at me palm seeing deep gash in my Palm. I sat there emotionless staring at the wall, not moving, I feel like I'm barely breathing. I officially stopped breathing when I heard knocking at the door, I breathed out a breathe that I've been holding. " S-someone is in he - here " I said weakly. "Alyssa, let me in. " He said knocking on the door again, " I-I needed air, and I still need some. " I said trying to make him leave without hurting him.. but then again he's hurting me and lying to me and doesn't care about my feelings. Then I hear Emma "She's such a child, don't you want a woman? " She persuaded. Why is she asking him, if she already has him? It's like a brick in my face, I start to cry all over again, she's right I am a child. Until I hear Evan say "No. " I don't talk. I don't want to. I don't have the energy to anymore. "Alyssa please, I'm begging you don't block me out..again " He spoke his voice cracking at the end, it brought me back to a dark memory saved for another time. I heard him stop knocking and him sliding down the wall next to the door. " Please " He begged a voice below a whisper. I stayed quiet, I feel like I can't move, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. That was until he started softly singing, my only weakness, I love it when he sings, it relaxes me. Which I was, I bit my lip hard deciding what should I do? "And I'll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. And I'll use you as a focal point, So I don't lose sight of what I want. I've moved further than I thought I could but I missed you more than I thought I would. " He sung softly, I made my mind up, he wouldn't of stayed if he wanted Emma. He wouldn't of tried so hard for me to let me let him in, if could've went to Emma so easily. I bit my lip that it drew blood so I decided to open the door and peek my head out, I seen his eyes light up at the sight of Me but soon turned to concerned, spoke before he could ask any questions " is she gone? " I whispered. He nodded his head slowly, I leapt out of the bathroom tackling him into a hug. " She is evil Ev, don't let her near you. " I pleaded. He chuckled, it was adorable, he picked me up and now we're standing, he suddenly grabbed my face kissing it all over the place. " Don't - you - ever - do - that - again " He said in between kisses, I giggled slightly and nodded, he grabbed my face in his hands and looked me directly in the eyes. " I'm serious babe.. you scared me. " I blushed because he called me babe.. it was really hot when that came out of his mouth. But I nodded telling I understand but I sadly remember why I did what I did in the first place. I know I probably look like shit, good thing he hasn't question all my blood on me, he probably will though. " I'll tell you what happened... I'm sorry " I said pulling him into a hug, nuzzling my head into his chest, I could feel his smile but it was weak. He grabbed my hand " let's go, it's been a long day. " He said exhausted. When we were walking out, Emma stare was locked on to me, glared at me coldly. I clung to Evan's arm tighter wanting to know and feel that I'm safe. My breathing picked up, it's sad that she can make my anxiety go up so quickly now.. Evan gave my hand a squeeze telling me it's ok, that he's here. I was calming my breathing and Evan walked out flicking Emma off, I smile and lay my head against his shoulder. And drove home.