You wrote "Don't Forget"

Chapter 10 - Knight with the Silver Platter

From the edge of the balcony, you could see the city skyline, shining brightly at this time of the night. A comforting breeze floated in, caressing my cheek and blowing a stray strand of hair away from my face.

I sat down at the table before Alejandro could do something stupid like pulling up my chair for me or worse, expect me to do that for him. Alejandro followed my lead, completely unfazed.

The receptionist left, gesturing at a waiter to come towards us. The waiter filled our glasses with water, handed us menus and left us in peace. I wished for him to come back and talk about something boring like tires and to sabotage this non-consensual date but he did no such thing. Darn waiters had become too polite.

I sighed, covering my face with the menu. I had to think of something very fast.

The menu stood poised in front of my face, waiting patiently. Suddenly, I had an idea. I rose to my feet so fast that one would think my bottoms had caught fire.

"Excuse me, Nature Calls." I said, clearing my throat. "Sure, take your time." Alejandro said.

I walked inside the restaurant, shooting periodic glances over my shoulder to check if Alejandro was watching me. When I was sure that I was out of his line of sight, I took the turn not towards the restroom but towards the kitchen.

I walked into the home of fumes, spices and way too much heat. My stomach grumbled letting me know its intentions but I told it that we wouldn't be doing much eating today.

All the heads in the kitchen turned to look at me. A lanky, elderly man bearing the badge of Executive Chef on his chef clapped his hands. Every head turned back to their work.

The man walked towards me, eyeing me curiously.

"Is there a problem, Sir?" He asked.

"No, actually. I have a special request." I said, giving him my most sincere smile. Then, I leaned in and proceeded to give him the strangest order he would ever serve in his life.

When I was done his mouth hung open and no words came out.

"I'll triple the pay." I said, knowing that I would regret this later.

Immediately the surprise vanished and his face broke out into a greedy smile. "Consider it done, Sir." He said, with a nod. I smiled as I left the kitchen.

Sure, I was parting with a month of my salary but it would be worth it if I could ward off that hot man I had slept with.

I walked back to the table with a new spring in my step. Alejandro raised an eyebrow as he noticed my newfound happiness.

"I take it things went well?" He said, with a chuckle. I turned red but nodded nonetheless.

"So, the order?" He said, turning towards the menu.

"Oh, they are serving us their speciality." I said.

"I can't wait to try it."

In the excruciating moments we spent waiting for the food, we had to do the hardest thing the human species had to do: talk. I tried to think of the strangest things which would qualify me as insane so that I could scare Alejandro away.

However having spent four years of college among literature geeks limited my choices and the rest surrounded by numbers, limited my choices.

"Did you know that Shakespeare's grave contains a curse for robbers?" I said, taking a sip of water. Surely no one talks about death, graves, curses and the Bard on their first date. Surely, this would throw him off.

"What? Really? Man, that is so cool. How does it go?" Alejandro said.

I mentally facepalmed myself. I had to try harder.

"It goes: 'Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear / To dig the dust enclosed here / Blessed be the man that spares these stones / And cursed be he that moves my bones.'" I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. I couldn't help but notice this did nothing to diminish the sparkle of excitement and amusement glimmering like a beacon in Alejandro's eyes. This was going to be harder than expected.

"When Victor Hugo's novel Les Miserables was published, Hugo was away on vacation. Wanting to know how the book had been received, he sent a telegram with a single question mark to his publishers. The publisher responded back with an exclamation point, signifying the book's success."

"You know, I have always loved Les Miserables."

Then, Alejandro launched into a hearty discussion and brief analysis and comparison of the movie adaptation and the book.

After some passionate conversations about the Dewey Decimal System, Bibliosima, banned books, The Poincaré Conjecture and Gödel's Incompleteness Theorems, Alejandro still seemed very very interested. I had taken him on a journey through both corners of my psyche: literature and maths, and he was still very jolly and amused. Damn it! What would it take to chase this man away?

My plea for help was answered by the waiter arriving with our - or should I say - my order.

He set down the not-so-suspicious looking lobsters in front of us and ran away as if he was going to get bit, which was probably correct.

"I hope you like seafood." I said, with a devious grin. He nodded with a perfectly genuine smile. Oh the poor poor man, he had no idea what he was in for.

I discreetly pushed my chair a little farther away from the table, waiting for the big show.

Alejandro picked up his fork and had almost plunged it into the food until the food moved. One big claw moved and then another and then the whole lobster sat up, staring at Alejandro's hand. Alejandro dropped the fork and a small strangled yelp escaped his throat. I tried to hold in my laughter.

In a swift moment, the lobster's claws lunged at Alejandro and it clung to his shirt sleeves, holding on with every ounce of its strength. Alejandro screamed, rising to his feet, trying to shake the lobster away.

The lobster was a headstrong one, it just held on more fiercely and began the climb of his life. The second lobster, the one on my plate started moving too and I shifted my chair further back, just in case.

Seeing no victim except the tall handsome man freaking out in front, the lobster dropped down to the ground and began pursuing my date for the night. Alejandro didn't notice the second lobster due to the fact that the first lobster had reached his chest and was digging his claws in his shirt.

Alejandro was still trying to pull the lobster away without getting clawed in the process which was proving to be an impossible task. I admired his endeavours, I really did but I also couldn't stop laughing.

The second lobster took advantage of this commotion and flung himself at Alejandro's feet. Alejandro only noticed the second lobster when it came to rest against his pants, where his manhood should be.

His eyes widened as he gasped, looking down. The first lobster took the opportunity to tear away Alejandro's shirt and suit, revealing the greek god physique which brought color to my cheeks.

I thought that it was about time I helped. No matter how much I didn't want to date Alejandro I'd rather he go home with his manhood still intact. I picked up the empty dish from the table and walked up to Alejandro.

With a swift motion, I hit the lobster no. 1 with the plate and it flew down, crashing against the wall. With a second motion, accompanied by serious blushing I struck the second lobster and it too landed, motionless on the ground.

"You okay?" I asked the flustered looking man standing in front of me. He gave me a weak smile while I tried my best not to glance at his bare chest.

"My knight with the silver platter," He said, I gulped.

"Technically this plate is not silver."

"Shhh, sounds better that way."

"I think I lost my appetite." He said, staring at the motionless lobsters.

"You don't say." I said, with a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat.