Heathers Characters React to Heathers

Beautiful

VERONICA & KIDS:
But I know, I know, I know...
Life can be beautiful.
I pray, I pray, I pray
For a better way.
We were kind before;
we can be kind once more.
We can be beautiful...

(MARTHA approaches.)

VERONICA:
Agh!... Hey Martha.

MARTHA:
Hey.
Martha smiled a bit and leaned towards Veronica "That's me!" She whisper yelled.
(MARTHA helps VERONICA pick up her tray.)

VERONICA:
Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers.

MARTHA:
We on for movie night?

VERONICA:
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail.

MARTHA:
I rented "The Princess Bride."

VERONICA:
Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?

MARTHA:
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

KURT:
Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!

(KURT KELLY knocks the tray from MARTHA'S hands.)
"I know she isn't in the best shape and all but can you be any less of an immature dick?" Heather Duke rolled her eyes at the jock, who was grinning like a freak at the screen "They at least make me look good." He said proudly
VERONICA:
Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.
"Hey! What the fuck?"
(Furious, to KURT) Hey! Pick that up right now!

KURT:
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

VERONICA:
Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend? You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.

KURT:
... You have a zit right there.

VERONICA & KIDS:
(Variously)
Dear Diary:
Why do they hate me?
Why don't I fight back?
Why do I act like such a creep?
Why won't he date me?
Why did I hit him?
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some hope here!
Something to live for!

(The three HEATHERS enter.)

KIDS:
Ah!... Heather, Heather, and Heather!

VERONICA:
[Spoken.] Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all.
"I guess we do.." Heather Chandler said with a sigh.
KIDS:
(Repeating.) I love Heather, Heather, and Heather.

VERONICA:
Heather McNamara. Head cheerleader. Her dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings.
"That's..well not terrible. Not a compliment, but not terrible."

KIDS:
I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather!

VERONICA:
Heather Duke. Runs the yearbook. Bo discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.
"Seriously! Out of all things to say?!" Heather Duke said red in the face