000. 𝑀𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠

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*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
I slightly opened my eyes to be hit with a blazing light blinding me, and no sound other then the beeps of some sort of Machine, a door opened and more light filed to room, I heard mumbling, but because the light blinding my eyes I couldn't make out a face just a figure. I shuffle around and I think he noticed I was awake,
Nurse: "so she lives" he chuckled
Kenzie: "where am I" I managed to slip out, in a whisper, the nurse was a male, didn't seem vary old, around 23ish, dark frown almost black hair, kinda hot to be honest
Nurse: "south view hospital, you were shot in the head, you may have a slight concussion, but you will be fine the impact wasn't to bad and the Bullet wasn't to deep" he grinned awkwardly, and that's where it all came back, all the memories came flooding in.
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6 months ago
I picked up my phone, that was ringing I didn't recognize the number, but still picked up,
"Hello" I said into the phone
"Is this Kenzie Parker hall" the person on the other end questioned
"Yes, this is she"
"Well there's been an incident your parents have died in a car crash on the freeway, you will now be under the care of your older brother Bryce hall, I am vary sorry for your loss" I was speechless, what just happened "miss are you still there"
"Y-yes, um, thank y-you" I stuttered and ended the call. I fell to my knees and started bawling my eyes out, I had now one, my parents were my best friend since my brother moved away, we still talked but ever since this whole social media thing took off for him, he has been calling less, I don't have much social media other then instagram, but I only follow Bryce and my best friend, Blake. We have been friends Sence I could remember and he never failed to be there for me. He came over and tried to comfort me but it never helped. Bryce dident come for at least 2 month er after there passing and I have been staying with Blake, well I still live in my house but blake comes over all the time. Also bryce only came to vist, he called a few times but was still never there when i need him the most.
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5 months ago
During the time I was alone I had one other person other then Blake, and that was my boyfriend Zack, he new me like no one else but, there was one thing about him, he was abusive but when he wasn't mad at me or drunk he was the best person in my life we could talk about anything and he would listen, and try to understand, but when he was mad or drunk he would hit me, kick me, he also raped me a few times, I should have known to leave him but I could he was the only one that listened, so I would just give in and do what he wanted. 4 months of my life I wasted with him. No one knew the bad side of zack, until one day Blake walked in on him hurting me. He put him in his place and zack never fucked with us From then, ever though it's only been a month. During my time with Zach I had so much mental agony in my I never let out and just kept all my feelings bottled up, I started cutting, I know it's not okay but it felt so good to turn my mental agony in to physical pain, with that blade in my hand I could control it.
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1 month ago
'There's when the one string holding me up, got cut and I fell to pieces and I had one thing left to do and I thought everything would be over'
Bryce didn't call in about 3 months, he didn't care about me, I had no family left. Blake he was still there, I know he tried but I felt bad for always putting my problems into him, so I pushed him away, I wanted him to be happy and not have to deal with me. There I was I pushed everyone away or they died or didn't care, I was completely alone, I stoped doing things, it was to hard to even get out of bed, I didn't eat, sleep, shower, I only got up to go to the bathroom and that was it. Finally it came to me, I had no one no cared about me, know one knew I even existed, so Instead of me being here, and just hurting myself even more then I was hurting, why not leave, it's not like I have anything ahead of me and know one would care, I would make an impact on the world if I was there of if I wasn't.
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3 days ago

I was standing on the hill that over looked the road my family died on, what a sight you could see the whole city of Paris, Illinois. I could fell the gun, in my back post of my jeans, yes I got dressed up, I even curled my hair and did my makeup, what got to look good before you die right, I placed my hand on the gun ready to pull it out of my pocket. A car drove by as I was looking at the city, he stoped "hey, are you lost" he yelled up to me as he got out of his car, his I'm guessing wife was in the seat next to him, bigger man about in his late 20s, "no, I'm right where I am Supposed to be, I smiled and pulled the gun of my pocket, "woah, hey what you doing" he put his hands up, "don't worry, I'm not going to shot you" I placed to gun next to my head, and places my finger on the trigger, "hey, hey don't do that, it's okay, just put the gun down and come down here" he was surly worried, "call 911" he yelled to his wife, "hey, tell My friend I said bye" I yell and smiled evilly.
I pulled the trigger, it felt like slow motion almost, I didn't feel pain, everything went black, there was ringing in my ear, I heard faint, clouded screams and sirens, but all I could think was 'it's over now, it's over'
And everything went silent and there was nothing....
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And now here I was, in a hospital alive, with no one I know, Alive, but I don't want to be alive, " sir, why didn't you let me die" I blurted out, he looked shocked "umm, you- umm, everyone should live, and your only 18, ma'am" he said "but, I didn't want to live" I said bluntly, it was true, I think "well, then god didn't want to you to, it wasn't your time, also never do that to your self again" he chuckled, trying to relive the stress out of the room, "no promises" I muttered but i don't think he heard.

Another's notes
First chapter, what you think, I really like it and I'm vary excited to write it, I like vary sad, and real stories, and I want to be able To Write, then and share to the world, what some people go though, like these are real things people go though every day and it's sad, but it needs to be heard so we can help, if any one reading this, has ever thought of things like this or even tried, I'm hear to listen and try to help, I have been thought things as well, probably, we'll definitely not as bad as many have but, I have done things that I should have, and I wish there was someone there for me to talk to and they could have helped me stop and do the right thing and not hurt myself even more then I was hurting:)

And just remember you are loved and there is always someone out there who loves you and care about you, never think you aren't enough, because you are enough, you are worth it and your beautiful and amazing. I love you, I may not know you yet, but I really do love you.

1407 words

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