All The Mixed Feelings (Van McCann)

Part 32

"Saw my ex Alice out the other day. Heard she'd dumped that prick Van McCann."

"Actually it was HIM who finished it with HER. He caught her cheating on him."

Matt found this hilarious, and I almost wished I hadn't said anything. "That's poetic justice right there! He fucked her behind my back and now he's got what he deserves!"

I felt irritation shoot through me and wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look off Matt's face. "That's not what I heard..."

"Oh yeah?" Matt shifted in his seat. "You gonna enlighten me then I suppose?"

I looked him squarely in the eye. "I heard she just traded you in for a better model."

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it. It was almost worth it to see the smirk fall off his face, but the poisonous look it was replaced with made my gut squirm with a cold uneasiness.

Chris appeared, slumping back in his seat, pushing a vodka and lemonade across the table to me and a pint to Matt. Matt picked up his drink and took a gulp, his eyes not leaving mine as he started to speak.

"Hey Chris, did I tell you I saw my ex in town the other day?"

"Nah," Chris replied. "Why, what happened?"

My eyes dropped down and away from Matt's glare, and I sipped my vodka, my insides clenching with anxiety.

"Well you know she was with that singer you don't like from that band? They've split up but we had a VERY interesting chat..."

"That fucking dick, Van's his name ain't it?"

"Yeah that's the one," Matt said, looking at me again. "Well apparently one of the reasons they split was he was after some bird..."

My heart started hammering and I wiped my hands on my dress, they felt slick with perspiration. Should I bolt for the toilet?

"Yeah her name was Abby..."

Fuck...

"Bullshit!" I cried out. "She cheated on him, that's why they split!"

I looked at Chris and froze. His eyes were ice-cold and they were fixed on me. Matt was on a roll.

"Apparently Alice caught him trying to shag her at some party. They were on the floor practically at it, brazen as you like!"

"It wasn't like that!" I cried.

Chris looked furious, red-faced with his jaw clenched and a vein popping in his neck. His fists were clenched on the table, the knuckles white.

"I've been looking for an excuse to rip that scrawny fucker's head off!" His voice boomed across the pub.

"No Chris! Please!"

My legs were trembling as I scrambled to my feet, but Chris shot up too, a murderous look in his eyes.

"I'll fucking kill the pair of yer!" Strings of spittle flew out of his mouth as he shouted, lurching forward.

I stepped back and that's when it happened. The blow knocked me clean off my feet, my side scraping the chair I'd been sat on before I went down, landing in an awkward crumpled heap on the floor. The moment of Chris's fist connecting with the side of my head didn't register with me at first. I just lay there, stunned, wondering why everything seemed to slow in front of my eyes, why everything sounded muted apart from the high-pitched ringing in my ears. I felt curiously detached for a moment, observing the chaos that was ensuing around me. Then the moment was over and reality hit.

Dull pain seared through my head, and as I tried to lift it I found I couldn't. I collapsed even further to the ground, covering my head with my hands, whimpering. I was dimly aware of the commotion above me as hands went around me and a female voice was repeating over and over, "Are you okay? Can you sit up?"

I managed to prop myself up with help, confused about the terrible sound I could hear. That's when I realised it was Chris. He was wailing my name, being dragged away by two burly looking doormen. He was holding his hands out in front of him, looking at them in horror like they weren't even his own. Matt was there, a stricken look on his face as he glanced between Chris and I. I watched, still in shock as Chris was manhandled out the door.

What the fuck just happened?

"Sweetheart are you ok? He's gone now, it's okay." I looked around for the first time to see a woman with a kindly face crouched by my side.

I tried to speak, but I could only choke out a sob.

"It's okay, he's not coming back in here," she said, an arm going around my back to steady me. Then she shouted across in the direction of the bar. "Someone call the police!"

"NO!" I found my voice then. "Don't call them."

A different woman crouched down by my other side. "Don't let him get away with it darlin', or you'll have this for the rest of your life."

The first woman went to speak again but I cut her off. "I have to go..."

"Where are you going dear? You're safe in here. Don't go out there."

"I need... I need a taxi. Can you get me a taxi please?"

"The taxi rank's only just across the road..." I heard her say as I unsteadily got to my feet and made for the door.

My head was in turmoil and I couldn't think straight. I kept replaying the moment Chris had lashed out at me and my brain couldn't quite grasp what had happened. I realised I was chanting 'but he'd never hurt me' over and over in my head like a mantra. I might have thought I'd imagined the whole thing if my head didn't throb like I'd been struck full force by a sledgehammer.

I stumbled out on to the pavement, gripping the pub door for support, just in time to see Chris landing a punch on the jaw of one of the doormen who fell to the floor, his head hitting the pavement hard as he went down.

Matt was trying to hold Chris back as he went to deliver a kick to the figure lying prone on the floor. "You've gone too far this time Chris!" He was shouting.

My vision was blurred by the tears which pooled in my eyes, my emotions threatening to overflow as the shock gradually wore off. I spotted a taxi idling across the road and shot across as fast as I could in my ridiculous heels.

"ABBY! GET BACK HERE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" I slammed the door of the taxi with force, cutting off Chris's cries, just wanting to be somewhere else, anywhere else but here.

"Are you ok love?" The taxi driver said, turning in his seat.

I watched in horror through the window as Chris started across the road.

"Can you just drive please?" I sat forward in the seat, shaking with adrenaline and fear.

"Where to...?"

Chris was a metre away from the car now, stretching out his hand towards the door.

"JUST DRIVE... PLEASE!"

The taxi pulled away from the kerb just in time, Chris's fingers an inch away from the door handle. As I watched him through the rear window all the shock, the pure horror, and now the relief of the last 20 minutes tumbled out of me. I sobbed so hard my whole body shuddered and I was gasping for breath.

"Do you want me to stop love?"

"NO! Just keep driving, I don't care where. Just away from here..."

I frantically went through my options. I couldn't risk going home to an empty house, I didn't know where Mike lived... that just left Michelle.

If I rang her now she probably wouldn't hear, the gig was sure to be in full flow. I typed a quick message asking her to call me, straining to see the phone screen through my tears.

"Can you take me the station please?"