You are in Love | Haikyuu

Chapter 3: Questions

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Flashback:
"Rinatarou, aren't you going to congratulate me on making into Inarizaki High School?" [f/n] asks peering at Suna who was sulking on the swing set. They both had gone out for some ice cream after [f/n] had gotten news of her being accepted into Inarizaki High School and now they were here sitting on the swing set at the playground.

"Congrats [f/n]." Suna replies coldly.

"Rin...Rin are you ok? Did I do something to upset you? Was it because I didn't buy Chuupets last week to congratulate you for finishing final exams? If it's that, I promise I'll make it up to you." [f/n] jokingly grins at Suna.

"No, it's not that I'm fine. It's nothing."

"...that does not sound like it's nothing. Please, you know that you can tell me anything. Rin, I practically known you since you were born. You don't have to hide anything from me. You know that I'll understand. Please Rintarou." She stares at Suna with her eyes widening, pleading him to answer her. She reaches over to clasp his hands in between hers.

"Please. I promise that whatever you say, I'll understand. You trust me don't you. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Suna can't take it anymore. How oblivious can she be? With all of those boys swarming around her, they were surely going to steal her away from him...then he wouldn't have anyone anymore. It wasn't fair that they were taking away all of her attention from him. They were too persistent in their pursuing of [f/n] and that absolutely pisses him off. "They could all just fuck off", Suna bitterly thinks. But her, she was so blind to the preying eyes that surrounded her. They didn't deserve her. She was too good for them, too pure, too kind, too beautiful.

"It's them [f/n]! Those guys who keeps leering at you like you're a piece of cake or something! All those random boys who keep showering you with all these gifts and letters! They're going to charm you with their sweet words and expensive gifts and you'll eventually go out with one of them..." Suna screams, the anger radiating off of him in waves. "...then...then you'll leave me. You'll leave me behind. You'll forget about me. I'm probably just nothing to you compared to them..." Suna trails off, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. Fuck, he hates this feeling. The feeling that you'll never be enough, the feeling of emptiness, the feeling that once you're falling, you just descend further down into the darkness, the feeling of hopelessness...all of that eats away at him, leaving him vulnerable and insecure.

SMAACK!
Suna feels the stinging pain in his cheek but he's staring at you as the slap wasn't hard enough to whip his head sideways. He thinks that she must have held back a little. His eyes are widened in shock as he continues to stare at [f/n].

"SHUT UP! Don't you dare say that! You are not nothing to me! You are everything to me! Those boys, those admirers, they are the ones who are nothing to me. Suna Rintarou, you are my best friend since you were born and you will always be my best friend. So don't you dare say that I'll ever leave you or forget you because I fucking won't. Do you understand me?!" [f/n] shouts, tears streaking down her cheeks as she reaches out with both hands to grasp Suna's face. Her hands are warm against his face with her delicate fingers sliding behind his ears, her palms flat against his cheeks, and her thumbs lying at the top of his cheekbones. Her intense gaze burns into his eyes and it hits him. At the exact moment with [f/n] cupping his face and staring intensely into his eyes, he realizes that he might have a crush on [f/n], [f/n] his childhood best friend, his friend since birth, the one that walked him home everyday after school, the one that held his hand in crowded places, the one that would sneak him extra Chuupets even after his mother said he couldn't have anymore, the one that decked a kid in the face for making fun of his Tokyo dialect, the one that would eat his mushrooms for him, the one that gave him her tamagoyaki in her bento because it was one of his favorites, the one that would hug him to sleep whenever he had nightmares from watching a horror movie, that very [f/n]. "Fuck", is all that Suna could think in that moment.

"Yes...I'm sorry [f/n]. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Forgive [f/n]?" Suna chokes out between his sobs, the tears freely streaming down his face. He knows that this is definitely not a pretty sight to witness.

"God, Rintarou. You know that I'll always forgive you no matter what you do. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me that. It's ok to be selfish Rin. You can always be selfish with me. Sorry for slapping you. I hope it doesn't bruise up." [f/n] rubs her thumb over the red mark on his cheek, concern flooding her gaze. Suna knows that the moment [f/n] allows him to be selfish with her, he'll take it. He'll be as selfish as he wants to with [f/n]. He reaches out and wraps his arms around [f/n], burying his face into her hair. [f/n] tightly wraps her arms around him, holding him as if he'll fall apart if she lets go. "Forgive me [f/n], but this is your fault. You allowed me to be selfish with you so forgive me so when I get selfish with you, you can't blame me." Suna thinks in his head as he holds you close, knowing that he doesn't think he could ever let go of you.

"Rin, Rin... I can't breathe. You're squeezing too tight." [f/n] wheezes.

"Oh, sorry." Suna lets his arms drop back to his sides and takes a step back. [f/n] wipes her face with sleeve, her eyes red and puffy from crying too hard. Suna's pretty sure that his eyes are probably as red and puffy as [f/n]'s. [f/n] reaches into her pocket to take out a handkerchief and she reaches over to wipe Suna's eyes and nose.

"Ew, you look so gross Rintarou." [f/n] giggles.

"Shut up. This is all your fault." Suna grumbles, a blush making its way onto his cheeks.

"Yeah yeah. Come on let's go home. It's getting dark" she states.

"Mhm" was his reply.

[f/n] holds out a hand for Suna to take and he takes it, grasping it firmly. With that they both make it back home, leaving behind the bad memories of the fight that had just occurred.

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Suna lies still awake in bed. He could tell by [f/n]'s soft slow breathing, that she had already fallen asleep a while ago. She twists and turns in her sleep, flipping around to face Suna. Her face was only a few inches away from his own. Suna brushes a couple strand of her hair out of her face and gently traces his fingers over the little mole on her earlobe. She had another one just underneath her jaw. He traces over the small silver scar on her temple. He remembers how she had gotten this scar. It was when he was probably 6 years old and had decided that he was big enough to attempt the monkey bars at the playground. Of course, he was obviously still to small for it but he manages to hold onto the first couple bars until he realizes that he couldn't move across anymore and that he was dangerously high above the ground. None of the adults had noticed yet and Suna was too scared to call out for help since they would surely scold him for getting on it in the first place when he wasn't allowed to. All he could do was close his eyes and hope that his fall was gentle. With that he lets go, expecting to harshly collide with the hard ground but what he gets instead is something soft and warm? He slowly blinks open his eyes and sees [f/n] underneath him with her arms tightly wrapped around him, cushioning his fall. He stares at [f/n], still in shocked, until he notices a red puddle beginning to form underneath her head. Frightened to death that [f/n] might have died, he sprints over to the adults like his life depended on it, and he vaguely remembers blubbering to the adults through his tears. [f/n]'s parents quickly ushered her to the hospital where the doctors informed that [f/n] had a nasty scrape on her head from roughly colliding with the ground. Little 6 year old Suna didn't want to leave [f/n]'s side until she woke up. When she did wake up, Suna was blubbering mess and kept on apologizing profusely to [f/n] about the incident. All [f/n] said to him was to be more careful next time and that it wasn't his fault. She reassured him that she was going to be fine even though there was a huge gauze taped to the side of her head. Thinking about, [f/n] always did have a way with words ever since she was young. [f/n] was able to comfort a distraught young Suna with just a few words while it took his parents a lot of persuading and bribery to get Suna to calm down. Suna laughs to himself replaying that memory in his head. He looks over at [f/n] again. He wonders if she still remembers. He wonders if she remembers their fight. He wonders if she noticed how flustered he was earlier... or about all those times when she was too close and he got flustered too...or how he kept on staring at her face instead of the math problem. He wonders about a lot but if there's one thing he is sure of, it's that he'll never say those thoughts out loud.