My Name is Connor

Right and Wrong

"Then go back to CyberLife." Kamski waved his hand, leaning back. "Let them tell you what to do and how to think. In the real world your life is your own responsibility. No one is going to tell you everything you should do."

"No... I can't go back. I just..." What was he supposed to do? "I'm so confused. I don't even know what's right anymore."

Connor took a deep breath. He had been trained to make decisions. He knew how to lead a team in an operation, he knew how to choose which of two people to save if he could only save one. Those decisions were easy. This was on a whole new level.

"All I know is that killing is wrong."

"All the time?"

Connor thought back to the CyberLife soldier he had killed on his way here. He had done it to keep himself alive. That was allowed, right? Ortiz's android had done the same thing and he was going to be put to death for it. Hank had threatened to kill the girl in Zlatko's basement, but that was to protect someone else. Was that justified?

"I don't know. Self defense and protection of others is... harder."

"Why?"

"I don't know. They seem more justified." It was a poorly constructed answer, but Connor was finding himself not caring as much. He was tired of trying to understand morality.

"What about killing for personal gain?"

"No. That's wrong."

"Why?"

"Because it's selfish."

"But isn't self defense selfish, too?"

Connor frowned, trying to find the logic for why he would allow self defense but not personal gain. He had never thought about why he was okay with one and not the other. It just felt right to him.

"Self defense is protecting something you have the right to keep. Personal gain is taking something."

A small smile played across Kamski's lips before disappearing. "I see."

Connor was beginning to understand what Kamski was doing. The questions were forcing him to think about what he believed, and the guided direction kept him from over complicating things. He let himself begin to relax as they went on. His stress level went down as well.

"Do you think of killing androids as the same as killing humans?" Kamski asked. Connor nodded. "Why?"

"Because androids are alive."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I can feel it."

"What do you feel?"

Connor paused. He felt a lot of different things. He felt anxious about leaving CyberLife. He felt glad that Kamski was helping him. He felt sad that Hank didn't remember him. He tried to think back to the first feeling that had finally convinced him that he wasn't just a machine.

"I feel afraid. Afraid that one day death will take away someone I care about and I'll never be able to see them again."

"Is that why you don't like killing?"

Connor nodded. It was the main reason. He didn't like how much Hank hated him for killing, too. He had been surprised by how much he didn't like it even though it was just an android. Now he understood.

"I'm impressed with your progress, Connor." Kamski smiled. He was leaning back again, holding Chloe's hand contentedly. "I was worried Lieutenant Anderson wasn't going to be able to balance out what CyberLife did to you, but I was obviously wrong. I'm very glad you're figuring things out."