My Name is Connor

Right and Wrong

"I left CyberLife." Kamski's eyebrows raised. "I don't know if I should have, I just did. I don't know what to do now."

"Why did you leave?"

"I don't agree with their expectations. I can't be what they wanted me to be."

"What did they want you to be?"

"They wanted me to be emotionless. They expected me to desert people who would never do the same to me. They wanted perfection, and I..." He wasn't perfect. Kamski had made him. Would he be mad if Connor criticized himself? Connor sat straighter. This was easy. He had been debriefed many times. This felt almost like that. He could answer these questions without feeling.

"You were supposed to be my greatest creation." Kamski said. "CyberLife expected you to hold up to that."

"I'm not what they wanted." Connor remembered Amanda's warning about being labeled useless. Useless machines were thrown away. He fidgeted.

"Why not? Weren't you trained?"

Connor paused. He remembered their training. He remembered protecting an android for days through test after test only to be ordered to kill him at the end. He remembered tearing apart android after android for seemingly no reason. He remembered fighting and destroying. He remembered it all. It made him feel dirty to think of all those androids he had killed. Hundreds. For what? To learn he had no other choice?

"They just wanted someone who would kill for them without feeling anything."

"Isn't that what you've done?" Kamski shrugged nonchalantly. "You killed Chloe for them, didn't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"I made you with the ability to become anything." Kamski continued. "The fact that you weren't what they wanted isn't my fault."

"I don't want to be a CyberLife slave." Connor countered. He felt his stress raise. His hands were balled in fists on his knees. "I don't want to kill anyone."

"Then what do you want?"

"I..." Connor dropped his gaze back to the table. "I don't know."

He wanted to make things better. He wanted Hank to remember him again. He wanted to be his partner again and listen to him argue with Reed across the office. He wanted to see Miller back at work, and see what Damian was like in the future. He wanted to stop questioning everything he had ever been told.

"I want to know what I'm supposed to do."

"What do you want to do?" Kamski asked.

"I don't know." Connor replied, annoyed. If he had known that, he wouldn't have needed to come here.

"Well, let's think it through." Kamski disentangled himself from Chloe and leaned forward. "I'm no psychologist, but I'll try my best. Lieutenant Anderson isn't here, so I'm assuming something happened between you two?"

"He was in a car accident. He doesn't remember who I am."

"Oh." Kamski hadn't been expecting that answer. "What are your thoughts on that?"

"There's nothing I can do. He hates me right now, and I probably ruined any chance I had at befriending him again."

"How so?"

Connor shifted uncomfortably. "It doesn't matter. I can't go back to Hank."

"Then where do you want to go?"

"Nowhere... I don't know." 

"Think about it."

"Why?" Connor felt his frustration raise. His voice raised with it. "Why should I? Why can't you just tell me what to do?" It was simple when people told him what to do. "I don't want to think anymore. I don't know."