The story conveys something that I strongly believe in or care about:I absolutely love when vampire genre books hold back on the vampires till they actually need to be around. Keeping them in the dark makes them so much more terrifying and that's what they should be. There's such a big mystery here that hasn't been touched on yet but the small mysteries leading up to it are just as intense. The character development is at just the right pace for a first-person narrative and it really feels like we've stepped into Charley's bloodstained shoes.
Reviewer: skyebme
***
К сожалению, это изображение не соответствует нашим правилам. Чтобы продолжить публикацию, пожалуйста, удалите изображение или загрузите другое.
Author: Raleigh_Thomas
Title: A Pact for Eternity
Favorite Chapter: Chapter 2 absolutely. The details of Sierra's time in between death and life are astounding, especially the way you incorporate the memories flooding back to her. It makes the reader feel like they are standing in the character's shoes and experiencing every emotion and memory with them. The stone bridge scene really intrigued me as well, and I am excited to see how that plays in the story later on.
Favorite Character: Finn Lancaster. Though he is a vampire and suffers hardship, he is not cold nor demeaning, and does not think himself to be different than anyone else. He goes against many vampire stereotypes being a kind male lead and not loathing the vampire life but embracing it. It is actually quite amusing and hilarious that he is not treating it as something terrible but normal-but that almost concerns me because I am worried he might tip to the dark side at some point. Finn is also loyal to Sierra when it is hard and does not leave her to fend for herself so I have two thumbs up for the lad.
Grammar and Spelling: Pretty good. What can be worked on is the choice of wording, incomplete sentences, and interruptions with the sentence flow. I did not notice many spelling errors.
1) Wording:
Example in text: "You can die more than once in your life. If you can say that you have died before, then you also have been brought back."
Suggested version: "If you claim to have died before, then you have returned to life as well."
The two sentences say the same thing. In this case, less is more. You could even just stick with your first sentence and that will be equally as powerful.
2) Incomplete sentence:
Example in text:"It stayed in the air longer than usual. Just like the lightning had."
Suggested version:"It stayed in the air longer than usual, just like the lightning."
3) Sentence flow/structure:
Example in text: "Shoulder length hair dripped down my shoulders and almost black eyes stared back at me."
Suggested version: "Water dripped down my hair and onto my shoulders (or clothes, shirt, etc.). As I looked into the mirror, I noticed my eyes were almost black."
