Random Oneshot Stories

LxH - MARRIED!?

He couldn't remember the last time he had been this completely, and utterly drunk. Shit faced ass over tea-kettle plastered. Yet, he had been. It had been one hell of a night, and one hell of a hangover graced his head as he woke. He sat up with a low groan and ran a hand over his face. He sighed and shook his head, then heard a soft, and... well, rather adorable, snore from his side. It looked over to see his bed-mate, his male bed-mate. He smirked softly, it wasn't often he paired with a member of the same sex, but it was always fun to change it up from time to him. He moved his hand to wake the male and then paused when he saw the rather lovely looking ring on his ring finger.

"Well... this is interesting ." Said Loki Laufeyson, of Asgard and Jotunheim. He looked at the ring, and before he could take it off, he noticed that it was indeed very lovely. The band was a simple black, with gold inlay and intricate runes. The runes were what caught his eye, and he saw that they were not just for show. They bound him, to this... mortal. He looked away from his hand to the man and noticed he was mostly awake. One eye was open, and Loki was looking at the greenest eye he had ever seen, aside from his own.

"Open them both, I want to see the gems that were stolen from the cosmos and given to my husband," Loki said, and it was the last word that had both eyes flying open in complete and utter surprise. The man, well now that he saw it, was very nearly a boy, looked at his hand.

"Oh no... Merlin's saggy tits... Hermione is going to flip." The now awake man said, before tugging the ring off, or trying too. He then groaned softly. "Bollocks... I had to use the Potter binding rings, didn't I?" He said, before sighing and looking up at the man who was now his husband. "Harry Potter..." He said, extending his hand, getting it cupped softly and brought up to a pair of sinful lips.

"Loki Laufeyson, of Asgard," Loki said, and Harry's eyes went wide before he laughed almost deliriously and slumped back onto the bed. Hmmm, this was going to be interesting.

~VLV~

Harry Potter woke up, a soft sigh on his lips. What a bloody weird dream. He was glad that he did not have a hangover because that would have been the icing on the cake. He rubbed his face before reaching for his glasses, then cursed softly as the.... wedding band went past his nose. His eyes opened again to see the Potter binding ring, and then the man who was just getting out of the shower. He took him in, in all his magnificence, and blushed to the roots of his hair.

"Ah, my darling husband wakes. I hope you don't mind, I felt rather fuzzy, and I needed to bathe myself." Loki said, and Harry shook his head, admiring the thin, yet sculpted chest of his apparent husband. "If you are interested, I am more than happy to get back into the shower... with you." He said, with a grin, before shaking his head. He was about to speak when he heard a scream, from right beside their bedroom.

"SWEET MORGANA!" Came the scream of one Hermione Granger, and Harry groaned softly.

"Bollocks..." Harry muttered before he got up and scampered to the shower, making Loki chuckle as he watched him go. Oh, this trip was getting rather entertaining, that was for sure.

~VLV~

Hermione Granger blinked once, twice... and then a third time, before tilting her head and admiring the male form that was still on the bed, snoring as if she had not screamed bloody murder. The man was... huge. He had to be at least seven feet tall, with a mop of dirty blonde hair on his head. He apparently slept naked, as well, and with the state, she was in... she was sure they had had... relations. She bit her lower lip and then tugged the blanket off. Well, alright then. Apparently, he was large everywhere and she shuddered, and then the soreness of the night's activities crept up on her. She sat down, huffing, and noticed the not so subtle ring on her finger. If the diamond was any larger, she'd have to pay homeowners tax.