What Is and What Should Never Be | Sirius Black

23. The Talk

"Really, Des, it was my choice." His tone is steady and he's completely sure of himself. I listen as he leans on the back of my armchair. "You've gained quite a few allies over the years, she doesn't have much going for her."

"I don't want allies." I whisper. "I don't wanna fight."

"I know." He says, and takes my hand with a reassuring squeeze. "And you don't have to worry, people see through her lies. She's trying to pit Hufflepuff against one of the kindest people in the school, for Helga's sake!"

I blush and smile at the compliment, thanking Henry even though I know not everyone is quick to take my side. Not when Sirius Black is involved, and with me out of the way they think they have a better chance.

"I do have to sleep though." Henry continues, and I nod, letting go of his hand.

"G'night." I say and he walks a couple feet before turning back.

"By the way, tell Black I'll pay him back."

"Pay him back?" I ask, slightly worried. "What for?"

"The drinks." Henry cocks his head like he's surprised I don't know what he's talking about. "He took Jane and I out for Butterbeer when she got out of the Hospital."

I blink.

"Oh." I say, not being able to come up with any real words.

Sirius took them out? Why? When?

I think I manage a nod, and Henry heads off to the boys dormitories. I can't wrap my head around a reason Sirius would do that, especially now. Not with this going on. But my mind feels burnt out, and I think even if I wanted to reason with it, I wouldn't be able to. The common room barrel opens again and in steps Jane, back from her prefect rounds, meaning it's a lot later than what I should be staying up until.

She catches me instantly, and her expression turns into one akin to my father when I've done something wrong. She opens her mouth but I cut her off.

"How's David?" I prompt before she can scold me for staying up this late.

She hesitates for a second, closes her mouth, then walks over to sit on the arm of my chair and I scoot back so she has room. Jane sees through me, but grants the both of us mercy from the constant chatter about Debbie or her hexing. She's barely gotten a moment's peace since, and neither have I, so our conversations have consisted of anything but those two subjects.

"He's doing an internship in Bulgaria." She tells me. "Meeting the coolest people."

I nod my head, pausing for a second.

"D'you.. D'you still love him?" My voice is soft and she raises an eyebrow as I look away.

She sighs very quietly.

"Of course." Her voice is a bit upset. "It's hard being away from him, that's why we broke up."

"You two still have feelings for each other?" I ask and she agrees.

"It's not fair, either we stay together and feel guilty 'bout it, or we break up and miss the thought of being with each other."

"Why feel guilty?"

Jane shakes her head.

"Feels like I'm holding him back." She mumbles with a frown, then breaks the mercy. "He nearly apparated to Hogsmeade when I told him what happened, I can't have him putting me before his work."

I nod my head, not knowing what to say.

"But now I wish I didn't - I wish we're still together. I wish he were here to hold me again."