hero

chapter eleven

"Hey- uh- I need to talk to you," I state, cringing as the loud music comes through the low quality speaker of my phone.

"Ari?" Brandon asks, obviously confused. I can hear a bunch of voices in the background, including female voices, and I get a pang of jealousy, but I quickly shake it off. I mean, why wouldn't he hang out with other girls, I did just break his heart.

"Yeah- uh- I was kinda thinking we needed to talk but- uh- I hear you're kind of busy so I'm just gonna hang up, you can call back later... I mean only if you want to, but- uh- I'm just gonna go," I say very awkwardly, rolling my eyes at myself.

"No, no, no. Just wait, this sounds important. One second, I'll get out of here," He says, and I hear rustling on the other end. I hear him say "I'll be back, just one second," then the voices dissapear and the music fades. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Okay so... so I just wanted to ask a favor of you, and it's pretty big so don't feel pressured at all to say yes, I just kind of got myself in an awkward position, and- uh- so I was just wondering if you'd like to come to Thanksgiving dinner with me and my parents and- uh- pretend to still be dating me, because I'm not quite ready to tell them about me and Harry, or any of the stuff that went on yet, I don't want to ruin Thanksgiving and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't like me at all if I did tell them, so... yeah." I say, tensing up, waiting his answer.

"I don't think it's a good idea," He says, carefully planning out his words. "I don't think it would turn out well at all, in fact I know, and I don't know if Harry would really approve." He says, and my heart sinks. I didn't expect him to say yes, but I can't tell my parents right now.

"My parents love you though."

"Yeah, but you don't," He mumbles. I just pretend like I didn't hear him.

"I know it's not a good idea, but I really really can't tell my parents right now. Please, Brandon. I'm begging you to do this for me. It's just one dinner, tommorrow at four. You can leave at six and pretend it's for work. I need you to do this for me." I beg, realizing I'm physically begging Brandon to pretend to be my boyfriend, when I could've had him as a real boyfriend right now if I'd never gone to the bar on my birthday. I know this was probably the worst mistake of my life, seeing as Harry and I have already had our first fight, and it's been less than a day of us truly being together.

"Fine, I'll do it, but I'm telling you it's not going to turn out well, I can promise you that." He warns, but I pay no attention. It'll work out just fine.

"Yay! Thank you so much Brandon! Love yo-" I freeze on my bed, realizing my mistake. I grip the phone hard. It was just habit from saying it so much before, but I'm scared at how he's going to react. "I- uh- thanks Brandon."

"I heard you, Ari," He says, and I grip the phone even tighter. 

"Brandon..."

"I love you Ari, I'm never going to stop. I'm nothing without you. Nothing. I don't understand. I've never been anything but good to you and I just don't get it. I'm collapsing. My whole world is caving in while you're happy with Harry. Did you ever stop to think about me? I've been without you for what? Less than a day and I'm dead, Ari, I'm just dead without you. My heart has stopped beating. I stopped living, I love you so much. I know everyone says that the pain will go away but it most absolutely will not. I will never get over you. Ever." He confesses, and my eyes fill with tears. I feel bad, I really do, but I just don't feel the same. I can't apologize enough to him for not loving him but I'm never going to.

"If you love me let me go, Brandon." I say, smiling at the cliche. 

"I know, I know, I just..." He trails off.