LET ME, mattia polibio (1) ✓

35

NARRATIVE

Mattia and I were both quiet, sitting in one another's presence. Mattia had stuff planned for the whole day, and now it was around 8:45pm. We were now watching the sunset. As we were driving, I came up with the idea that the two of us should park on the side of the road and watch the sunset. Mattia obviously agreed, which led us to where we were now. We were sat down on a field watching the sunset. Mattia's car was parked on the side of the road and the two of us walked a few minutes along the field in search of the perfect place to sit.

"Aurora."

I turned to look at Mattia when I heard him speak and gave him a look as if to say 'spit it out' when he didn't say anything. Mattia couldn't say anything. The words he was about to say to her a second ago were now lost in his mind.

"Yes, Mattia?"

"Uhm, nevermind."

With that, I turned around and carried on watching as the sky grew dark with each passing minute. I felt Mattia scoot closer to me and I found myself resting my head on his shoulder. Her action made his cheeks burn as he rested his head on hers. The two were leaning on one another, sat in comfortable silence.

Comfortable silence was a rare, yet special thing. Most of us live our lives in a constant struggle to fill the quiet with noise. We're afraid of what happens when there's nothing left to say. We dread the anxiety of awkwardness, vulnerability, or uncertainty, of all the uncomfortable things that can fill the silence between one another. I, too, used to worry about running out of words, about being left to navigate that uneasy limbo between sentences. But when I found him, I learned that silence can not only be comfortable, but special rather than awkward and nerve racking.

Like the silence between jokes, after a burst of laughter that leaves us clutching our stomachs. Too breathless to speak once it fades, we make eye contact. His eyes are alight with joy. His smile, contagious. It's a silence that affirms how much we appreciate each other's humour. We don't need the "that's so funny" filler. Our wide grins and rosy cheeks say it for us.

That's when you know you've found someone special. When you can shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Mattia thought he was crazy. Thinking back to when she first spoke to him, he grew confused on why he was feeling the way he was. He'd known her for months, but for six of those months they didn't speak. Not a word was spoken between the two and that was all down to Brandon but that's not the point. He was trying to comprehend the fact that he loved her so much without even knowing her completely.

Yes, he knew her, from her favourite colour to her deepest regrets but he didn't know all of her. He didn't know every one of her secrets. He didn't know what it was like for her before they knew of each other and he didn't know how she felt when he wasn't around. Most importantly, he didn't know her physically.

Sure, they've touched each other, but the emotion before was unnatural. She liked him and he liked her, but they were not meant to be so the emotions and feelings shared between the two were only friendly. He flirted with her and he kissed her, but it wasn't allowed to mean anything until now.

Mattia lifted his head and stood up once it was dark and the sun had fully set. She looked up at him as he extended his hand out to grab hers and pull her up. The two didn't speak or move once they were standing, they just stood there looking at one another, although they couldn't see much since it was dark. It was windy now, and quite cold, but that didn't bother them one bit.

They held still, locking lips for a few seconds. Then slowly, they parted, keeping mere inches away from one another, staring calmly into each others eyes. They'd kissed before, but it didn't compare to this.

Without a word, Mattia intertwined their hands and led her back to his car. The drive home was silent, but it wasn't awkward. He'd held her hand the whole way. When they finally got back to her house, Aurora led him up to her room. Her father was working so it was dead silent in the house. The only sound was their breathing.

Aurora couldn't believe the thoughts that were circling in her mind. She truly thought she was in love with Brandon, but now that she was stood in front of Mattia, she realised she never was. She was in love with the thought of being in love when she was with Brandon, but now she's sure. She's in love with Mattia.

You can never be sure of something like that, but she was. She wanted to believe that she was and seeing the small smile on his face made her so sure. She is in love with Mattia.

"I love you." He blurts, and I almost fall off the edge of the bed in shock, "I fucking love you. I'm so fucking in love with you"

There's a warmth in my heart. I feel lighter, like a five-tonne weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can finally say that I am happy. I don't know why, but I can feel a laugh coming on and before I can stop myself, I'm laughing out loud and Mattia is looking at me confused, but he still had that grin on his face.

"I love you" I reply between chuckles and he only joins in and starts laughing with me. "Stop it"

"Stop what?"

"Laughing"

"You should come back to Jersey with me." Mattia spoke after calming down and he took off his shoes, putting them on the floor next to the bed. "The guys miss you and so do Taylor and Vic."

"I know they do, but I can't." I frowned as he got up and took off his shirt and walked out of the room. He came back a few minutes later, dressed in shorts and a tank top.

"Why can't you?"

"Because my dad probably won't allow it."

"Okay, I'm tired." Mattia got under her covers and I gave him a confused look.

"You're not sleeping in here." I told him playfully and he smirked at her.

"Yes, I am"

"No, you're not"

"I am"

"You're not, get out"

"Yes I am." He snaked his arms around my waist as I let out a sigh and he pulled me closer to him. "Goodnight."

"I have to get changed, Mattia. Can you let go for a second?"

Mattia sighed and let go of me. I stood up and grabbed my Nike Pros and an oversized hoodie, before walking into the bathroom and getting changed. When I was done, I washed her face and brushed my teeth and walked out, only to find Mattia snoring loudly in the middle of my bed. He was taking up all the space.

I rolled my eyes and put my dirty clothes in my hamper and then got into the bed next to him, scooting into him. He groaned.

"What are you doing? I'm sleeping"

"Well, scoot over. I'm trying to go to sleep too, but your ass is taking up all the space in my bed." I complained and continued pushing him back over to his side of the bed. After a few minutes of pushing him, I rolled my eyes before he sat up quickly and grabbed me, scooting over and holding me. "You asswipe. Get the blanket!"

"Chill" Mattia grabbed the blanket and covered us, "Goodnight"

I smiled and closed my eyes, "Goodnight"

authors note
okay I'm almost done
this is low-key pissing me off
I just want to get it done now